Inglorious Basterds (2009) · 18 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Inglorious Basterds (2009): in 3 of its 18 quotes
Most scenes with: Col. Hans Landa (3)
Now, according to these papers, all the Jewish families in this area have been accounted for, except the Dreyfuses. Somewhere in the last year it would appear they've vanished, which leads me to the conclusion that they've either made good their escape, or someone is very successfully hiding them. What have you heard about the Dreyfuses, Monsieur LaPadite?
Perrier LaPadite Only rumors.
I love rumors! Facts can be so misleading, but rumors, true or false, are often revealing.
The feature that makes me such an effective hunter of the Jews is, as opposed to most German soldiers, I can think like a Jew, where they can only think like a German — more precisely: German soldier. Now, if one were to determine what attribute the German people share with a beast, it would be the cunning and the predatory instinct of a hawk. But if one were to determine what attributes the Jews share with a beast, it would be that of the rat. The Führer and Goebbels's propaganda have said pretty much the same thing, but where our conclusions differ is: I don't consider the comparison an insult. Consider, for a moment, the world a rat lives in. It's a hostile world, indeed. If a rat were to scamper through your front door right now, would you greet it with hostility?
Perrier LaPadite I suppose I would.
Has a rat ever done anything to you to create this animosity you feel towards them?
LaPadite Rats spread diseases. They bite people.
Rats were the cause of the bubonic plague, but that's some time ago. I propose to you, any disease a rat could spread, a squirrel could equally carry. Would you agree?
LaPadite Oui.
Yet I assume you don't share the same animosity with squirrels that you do with rats, do you?
LaPadite No.
But they're both rodents, are they not? And except for the tail, they even rather look alike, don't they?
LaPadite It's an interesting thought, Herr Colonel.
Ha! However interesting as the thought may be, it makes not one bit of difference to how you feel. If a rat were to walk in here right now, as I'm talking, would you greet it with a saucer of your delicious milk?
LaPadite Probably not.
I didn't think so. You don't like them. You don't really know why you don't like them. All you know is you find them repulsive. Consequently, a German soldier conducts a search of a house suspected of hiding Jews: where does the hawk look? He looks in the barn. He looks in the attic. He looks in the cellar. He looks everywhere he would hide, but there's so many places it would never occur to a hawk to hide. However, the reason the Führer has brought me off my Alps in Austria and placed me in French cow country today is because it does occur to me, because I'm aware what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity.
Now, my job dictates that I must have my men enter your home and conduct a thorough search before I can officially cross your family's name off my list, and if there are any irregularities to be found, rest assured they will be — that is, unless you have something to tell me that makes the conducting of a search unnecessary. I might add, also, that any information that makes the performance of my duties easier will not be met with punishment. Actually, quite the contrary, it will be met with reward, and that reward will be your family will cease to be harassed in any way by the German military during the rest of our occupation of your country. [stares hard at LaPadite] You are sheltering enemies of the state, are you not?
Perrier LaPadite Yes.
You're sheltering them underneath your floorboards, aren't you?
LaPadite Yes.
Point out to me the areas where they are hiding. [LaPadite points.] Since I haven't heard any disturbance, I assume that while they're listening, they don't speak English.
LaPadite Yes.
I'm going to switch back to French now. I want you to follow my masquerade. Is that clear?
LaPadite Yes.
Monsieur LaPadite, I thank you for the milk and your hospitality. I do believe our business here is done. [opens the door and lets SS soldiers in] Ah, ladies. I thank you for your time. We shan't be bothering your family any longer. So, Monsieur, Mademoiselle, I bid farewell to you and say: adieu! [The soldiers shoot up the floorboards]
