Yondu
[To Groot]
Pst! Hey, twig! Come'ere!
Rocket
Oh, man, what did they do to you?
Yondu
Hey, you want to help us get out of here? [Groot nods] There's something I need you to get, and bring back to me. In the Captain's quarters, there's a prototype fin. The thing I wore on my head. There's a drawer next to the bunk. It's in that. It's red. You got it?
Yondu
[Groot nods and runs off excitedly. He returns with Yondu's underwear]
That's my underwear.
Rocket
Yeah, I was pretty sure he didn't know what you were talking about. You have to explain it more carefully.
Yondu
[Sighs]
It's a prototype fin.
Rocket
[Groot returns with a squirming Orloni]
That's an Orloni. It's a fin, Groot!
Yondu
[Sighs]
You explain it this time.
Rocket
Alright…
Yondu
[Groot returns again with Vorker's prosthetic eye]
That's Vorker's eye. He takes it out when he sleeps. Go, look again.
Rocket
But leave the eye here.
Yondu
Why?
Rocket
[Trying not to laugh]
He's gonna wake up tomorrow, and he's not gonna know where his EYE IS!
Rocket
[Groot returns again dragging a giant metal desk]
That's a desk. We told you it was this big!
Rocket
[Groot returns, holding a severed human toe]
... Tell me you guys have a refrigerator somewhere with a bunch of severed human toes. [Yondu shakes his head] Okay, then let's just agree never to discuss this.
Yondu
[Hands Groot his ravager badge]
The drawer you want to open has this symbol on it, alright?
Yondu
[Groot slowly puts the badge on his head]
WHAT?! NO!
Rocket
He thinks you want him to wear it as a hat.
Yondu
That is NOT what I said!
Groot
I am Groot.
Rocket
He's relieved you don't want him to.
Groot
I am Groot.
Rocket
He hates hats.
Groot
I am Groot.
Rocket
On anyone, not just himself.
Groot
I am Groot.
Rocket
One minute, you think someone has a weird shaped head, and then the next minute, it's just because you realize part of that head is the hat! [To Groot] That's why you don't like hats?! [Groot nods]
Yondu
This is an important conversation right now?
Rocket
[Walking Groot through atomic bomb detonation]
Alright, first you flip this switch, then this switch. That activates it. Then you push this button, which will give you 5 minutes to get outta there. [Groot stares blankly] Now, whatever you do, don't push this button. (Why?) Because that'll set off the bomb immediately, and we'll all be dead. Now, repeat back what I just said.
Groot
I am Groot. [Translating; "I flip the first switch."]
Rocket
Uh-huh.
Groot
I am Groot. [Translating; "Then the second one."]
Rocket
That's right.
Groot
[Points to the death button]
I am Groot. [Translating; "And then... this button, right?"]
Rocket
No! No, that's the button that will kill everyone! Try again.
Groot
Hmm. I am Groot. [Translating; "I do the first switch."]
Rocket
Mm-hmm.
Groot
I am Groot. [Translating; "Then the second."]
Rocket
Uh-huh.
Groot
[Points at the death button… again]
I am Groot. [Translating; "Then... this button?"]
Rocket
No! That's exactly what you just said! How's that even possible? Which button is the one you're supposed to push? Point to it. [Groot points at death button... once again] No!
Q Quill
[From skylight]
Hey, you're making him nervous!
Rocket
Shut up, and give me some tape! Does anyone have any tape out there? I wanna put some tape over the death button.
Q Quill
I don't have any tape. Lemme check. [Jetpacks away] Yo, Yondu! Do you have any- Ow! Do you have any tape? [Groans in pain] Gamora, do you have any tape? Tape! Oh, never mind. Sorry. Ow! Drax, do you have any tape? Yes, Scotch tape would work. Then why would you ask me if Scotch tape would work, if you don't have any?! [Reappears] Nobody has any tape!
Rocket
Not a single person has tape?!
Rocket
Did you ask Nebula?
Rocket
Are you sure?!
Q Quill
I asked Yondu, and she was standing right next to him!
Rocket
I knew you were lying!
Q Quill
You have priceless batteries and an atomic bomb in your bag! If anybody's gonna have tape, it's you!
Rocket
That's exactly my point! I have to do everything!
Q Quill
You are wasting a lot of time here!
Rocket
[As Groot grabs the bomb and runs to Ego's core]
We're all gonna die.
Q Quill
[Mid-credits scene 3ː Quill walks into Groot's room, who is playing a video game, and sees that vines are all over the place]
Ugh, dude. Seriously? You gotta clean up your room. It’s a complete mess.
Groot
I am Groot…
Q Quill
I am not boring. You’re boring. You know what’s boring? Sitting there, playing that mind-numbing game. What’s boring is me tripping over your vines every day! I’m not boring!
Groot
I am Groot.
Q Quill
And now I know how Yondu felt.
