What's he doing?
He's licking the glass and making obscene gestures with his hands.
Ferris Bueller
Matthew Broderick · 42 quotes
Cameron Frye
Alan Ruck · 31 quotes
Ed Rooney
Jeffrey Jones · 14 quotes
Jeanie Bueller
Jennifer Grey · 12 quotes
Sloane Peterson
Mia Sara · 10 quotes
Grace
Edie McClurg · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Ferris Bueller & Cameron Frye (18), Ferris Bueller & Sloane Peterson (5), Ferris Bueller & Ed Rooney (3)
Ferris Bueller's Day Off quotes
Page 3 of 6Where's your brain!?
Why'd you kick me!?
Where's your brain!?
Why'd you kick me?
Where's your brain?
I asked you first.
How can we pick up Sloane if Rooney is there with her?
I said for her to be there alone and you freaked.
And I, I didn't hit you. I lightly slapped you.
You hit me. Look, don't ask me to participate in your stupid crap if you don't like the way I do it. [Ferris makes a mocking face] You make me get out of bed, you make me come over here. You make me make a phony phone call to Edward Rooney!? The man could squash my nuts into oblivion and then, and then, you deliberately hurt my feelings.
No, no, I did not. I didn't deliberately hurt your feelings
Oh, really? Really?
No, no, I didn't.
[Cameron takes his jersey off the coat rack and heads for the front door]
What are you doing?
See you later, pal. I'm going home.
Oh, come on, come on, don't do that.
Have a nice life.
Oh, Cameron, wait a minute. Come back. I didn't mean to lose my temper. I'm sorry, it was uncalled for.
You serious?
Yeah. Here you go. [Hands him a cup of tea]
Thank you.
You did screw up though, right? I mean, not that it was completely your fault.
Why?
Well, to fix the situation, I'm going to have to ask you for a small favor.
Where's your brain?
Why'd you kick me?
Where's your brain?
Why'd you kick me?
Where's your brain?
I asked you first.
How can we pick up Sloane if Rooney is there with her?
I said for her to be there alone and you freaked.
Now, I didn't hit you. I lightly slapped you.
You hit me. Look don't make me participate in your stupid crap if you don't like the way I do it. You make me get out of bed, you make me come over here. You make me make a phony phone call to Edward Rooney? The man could squash my nuts into oblivion. And-and-and then, and then, you deliberately hurt my feelings.
Garage Attendant You guys got nothing to worry about, I'm a professional.
A professional what?
Katie Bueller
I just picked up Jeannie at the police station! She got a speeding ticket, another speeding ticket, and I lost the Vermont deal because of her!
Tom Bueller
I think we should shoot her.
Maitre D' All right, I've had enough of this-
You touch me, I yell rat!
Maitre D' You're Abe Froman?
That's right, I'm Abe Froman.
Maitre D' The Sausage King of Chicago?
Uh yeah, that's me.
Maitre D' Look, I'm very busy. Why don't you take the kids and go back to the clubhouse?
Are you suggesting that I'm not who I say I am?
Maitre D' I'm suggesting that you leave before I have to get snooty.
Snooty?
Maitre D' Snotty.
Snotty?
Yes, that's what Mr. Peterson said. I had Florence Sparrow notify Sloane, poor little lamb.
Oh it's so hard to tell these days. I do see her with Ferris Bueller quite a little bit.
Would you get me Mr. Peterson's daytime number, please?
Sure. [picks up ringing phone] Ed Rooney's office.
Oh! Uh, please hold. [to Rooney] What do ya know? It's Mr. Peterson. You still want his daytime number? [realizing, as Rooney shoots her a dirty look] Oh.
Ed. This is George Peterson.
How are you today, sir?
Well, we've had a bit of bad luck this morning as you may have heard.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, uh, it's been a tough morning, and, uh, we got a lot of family business to take care of, so if you wouldn't mind excusing Sloane, I'd appreciate it.
Uh, sure. Y'know, I'd be happy to. Yeah. You, uh, you-you just produce a corpse, and, uh, I'll release Sloane. I wanna see this dead grandmother first hand.
[covering the phone; thinking he's talking to Ferris Bueller]
It's alright, Grace, it's Ferris Bueller, the little twerp. I'm gonna set a trap, and let him fall right into it.
Ooh!
Uh, uh, Ed, I-I'm sorry, did-- Did you say you wanted to see a body?
Yeah, that's right, just, uh, roll her old bones on over here, and I'll dig up your daughter. You know, that's school policy.
Oh.
Uh, was this your mother?
Uh, n-no, my wife's mother.
Hi, this is Ferris Bueller. Can I speak to Mr. Rooney, please? Thank you.
Tell ya what, dipshit. You don't like my policies, you can come on down here and smooch my big ol' white butt.
Pucker up, Buttercup. [to Grace; quietly] What?
Ferris Bueller's on Line 2.
[Mr. Rooney freezes, turning to the phone in horror] [Over the phone]
Hiya, Mr. Rooney, how ya doin? Listen, I'm sorry to disturb you at work but I'm not feeling very well today and I was wondering if it might be possible for my sister to bring home any assignments from my classes that I might need. Have a nice day. [Hangs up]
Shermerite
[collecting money]
Save Ferris? Save Ferris?
Shermerite
[Solicits Jeannie]
Save Ferris?
Excuse me?
Shermerite
Well, a group of us are collecting money to buy Ferris Bueller a new kidney. Save Ferris?
Go piss up a flagpole.
Shermerite
I'm sorry?
You should be. [Knocks the can out of his hand]
The city looks so peaceful from up here.
Anything looks peaceful from one thousand three hundred and fifty-three feet.
I think I see my dad.
What could happen to it? It's in a garage.
It could get wrecked, stolen, scratched, breathed on wrong, a pigeon could shit on it! Who knows?
What are we going to do?
The question isn't "what are we going to do," the question is "what aren't we going to do?"
Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home.
[to the camera]
If you had access to a car like this, would you take it back right away? Neither would I.
Les jeux sont faits. Translation: the game is up. Your ass is mine. [said to a girl who looks like Ferris from behind at the pizza place]
[discovers that Ferris has been faking being sick and sneaking out of the house by finding a mannequin in his bed]
I KNEW IT!!!