Q quotes from Die Another Day (2002)
Played by John Cleese
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[Bond has just shot M in the shoulder during a training exercise]
Q: Forgive my mentioning it, 007, but a perfect marksman isn't really supposed to shoot his own boss.
James Bond: Check the replay. You'll find he's dead and she's only got a flesh wound.
Q: There's always an excuse, isn't there, 00-Zero?
Bond: Give me the old firing range any day, quartermaster.
Q: Yes, well it's called the future, so get used to it.
Q: Forgive my mentioning it, 007, but a perfect marksman isn't really supposed to shoot his own boss.
James Bond: Check the replay. You'll find he's dead and she's only got a flesh wound.
Q: There's always an excuse, isn't there, 00-Zero?
Bond: Give me the old firing range any day, quartermaster.
Q: Yes, well it's called the future, so get used to it.
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James Bond: [Looking in Q's lab] So, this is where they keep the old relics, eh?
Q: I'll have you know, this is where our most cutting-edge technology is developed.
Bond: [Activates the knife in the briefcase used in From Russia With Love] Hmm, point taken.
Q: Must you touch everything?
Bond: [Notices the jet-pack from Thunderball] Does this still work?
[Bond turns on the jet-pack, which starts to take off. Q quickly grabs it and shuts it down]
Q: Now, look–
Bond: So, where is this "cutting-edge" stuff?
Q: I'm trying to get to it!
Q: I'll have you know, this is where our most cutting-edge technology is developed.
Bond: [Activates the knife in the briefcase used in From Russia With Love] Hmm, point taken.
Q: Must you touch everything?
Bond: [Notices the jet-pack from Thunderball] Does this still work?
[Bond turns on the jet-pack, which starts to take off. Q quickly grabs it and shuts it down]
Q: Now, look–
Bond: So, where is this "cutting-edge" stuff?
Q: I'm trying to get to it!
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Q: [hands Bond a watch] A new watch, this is your 20th, I believe.
James Bond: How time flies.
Q: Yes, well, 007, why don't you establish a record by actually returning this one...[Presses a button on his remote] Your new transportation.
[A bare transport platform glides into the station]
Bond: ... Maybe you've been down here too long.
Q: The ultimate in British engineering. [Walks onto the platform. His image distorts around whatever is on the platform]
Bond: You must be joking!
Q: As I learned from my predecessor, Bond, I never joke about my work. Aston Martin calls it the Vanquish, we call it "The Vanish." [Presses a button on his remote, exposing a new sportscar]
Bond: Oh, very good.
Q: Adaptive camouflage. Tiny cameras on all sides project the image they see onto a light-emitting polymer skin on the opposite side. See, to the casual eye, it's as good as invisible. Plus, all the usual refinements: ejector seat, torpedoes, target-seeking shotguns to shoot down mobile objects. [Reaches into the car, pulls out a big manual, handing it to Bond] Why don't you acquaint yourself with the manual? You should be able to shoot through that in a couple of hours. [Bond tosses the manual in the air. The activated target-seeking shotguns promptly blast it to pieces]
Bond: Just took a few seconds, Q.
Q: Wish I could make you vanish.
James Bond: How time flies.
Q: Yes, well, 007, why don't you establish a record by actually returning this one...[Presses a button on his remote] Your new transportation.
[A bare transport platform glides into the station]
Bond: ... Maybe you've been down here too long.
Q: The ultimate in British engineering. [Walks onto the platform. His image distorts around whatever is on the platform]
Bond: You must be joking!
Q: As I learned from my predecessor, Bond, I never joke about my work. Aston Martin calls it the Vanquish, we call it "The Vanish." [Presses a button on his remote, exposing a new sportscar]
Bond: Oh, very good.
Q: Adaptive camouflage. Tiny cameras on all sides project the image they see onto a light-emitting polymer skin on the opposite side. See, to the casual eye, it's as good as invisible. Plus, all the usual refinements: ejector seat, torpedoes, target-seeking shotguns to shoot down mobile objects. [Reaches into the car, pulls out a big manual, handing it to Bond] Why don't you acquaint yourself with the manual? You should be able to shoot through that in a couple of hours. [Bond tosses the manual in the air. The activated target-seeking shotguns promptly blast it to pieces]
Bond: Just took a few seconds, Q.
Q: Wish I could make you vanish.
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