(Velma just sung "I Can't Do It Alone")
So where was the part where you blew her brains out??
Roxie Hart
Renée Zellweger · 14 quotes
Velma Kelly
Catherine Zeta-Jones · 13 quotes
Billy Flynn
Richard Gere · 8 quotes
Matron 'Mama' Morton
Queen Latifah · 8 quotes
Amos Hart
John C. Reilly · 5 quotes
Bandleader
Taye Diggs · 3 quotes
Annie (Merry Murderess)
Denise Faye · 1 quote
June (Merry Murderess)
Deidre Goodwin · 1 quote
Most scenes together: Velma Kelly & Roxie Hart (2)
Chicago quotes
Page 1 of 4But he was trying to burgle me!
Harrison From what I hear, he's been 'burgling' you three times a week for the past month.
Yeah, I killed him! And I'd kill him again!
Harrison Once was enough, dearie. Take her downtown!
You'll be staying in E Block. Murdereress' Row, we like to call it.
Oh... is that nicer?
Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
You're talking to the wrong people.
God, that's beautiful!
Cut out God; stay where you're better accquainted.
Ms.Sunshine
Are you sorry?
Are you kidding?
Reporter
Would you like to give us a word or two?
Kitty I'll give you three - GO TO HELL! (She kicks him in the groin)
Doctor (flustered)
She is.
I see. And would you swear to that in court?
Doctor Yes.
Good. Button your fly.
Laugh, why would they laugh?
'Cause they can count. Can you count?
Objection!
Judge Sustained.
Harrison Your Honor, I haven't asked a question yet!
Baliff
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
And then some.
I object! My client has never held a diary! And even if she did, this would be... invasion of privacy, and violation of the fourth amendment, and,and, and... and illegal search without a warrant!
Miss Kelly, did you make a deal with Assistant D.A. Harrison to drop all charges against you in exchange for your testimony?
Why, sure. I'm not a complete idiot.
It'll never work.
Why not?
Because I hate you.
There's only one business where that's no problem at all.
Me and Roxie would just like to say thank you!
Thank you! Believe us, we could never have done it without you!
I was there the night you were arrested.
You, and half of Chicago.
(At a press conference, protesting her innocence)
I bet you want to know why I shot the bastard?
(having been asked what the cost of a phonecall is)
Come on, Vel, you know how I feel about you. You're like family to me, one of my own. ... I'll do it for fifty.
(Listening to a description of Roxie's trial on the radio)
She stole my garters! First she steals my publicity. Then she steals my lawyer, my trial date. And now she steals my goddamn garter.
(Singing)
And that's good, isn't it grand, isn't it great, isn't it swell, isn't it fun, isn't it?
(Singing)
Are human beings made of more than air? With all that bulk you're bound to see 'em there!... Unless that human bein' next to you, is unimpressive, undistingushed, you... know...who.
(Singing)
Ask any of the chickies in my pen, they'll tell you I'm the biggest mother... hen.
(Singing)
Come on babe, why don't we paint the town? And all that jazz, I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down, and all that jazz! Start the car, I know a whoopie spot, where the gin is cold and the piano's hot! It's just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl and all that jazz.
(Singing)
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle; razzle dazzle 'em. Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it and the reaction will be passionate. Give 'em the old hocus pocus; bead and feather 'em. How can they see with sequins in their eyes? What if your hinges all are rusting? What if, in fact, you're just disgusting? Razzle dazzle 'em, and they'll never catch wise.
(Singing)
Let's all stroke together, like the Princeton crew. When you're strokin' Mama, Mama's strokin' you!
(Singing)
My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop. My sister and I were headed straight for the top. My sister and I made a thou a week at least, but my sister is now unfortunately deceased. I know it's sad, of course, but a fact is still a fact. And now all that remains is the remains of a perfect double act.