Boon quotes from Animal House (1978)

Boon

Let's take the cheese.

Boon

You going out tonight, Otter?

Otter

Uh-huh.

Boon

Norma?

Otter

No, let me give you a hint. She's got a couple of major-league yabos.

Boon

Beverly!

Otter

No, But you're getting warmer. Let me give you another hint: "Oh God, Oh God, OH GOD!"

Boon

Marlene! You're gonna pork Marlene Desmond!

Otter

Pork?

Boon

You're gonna hump her brains out.

Otter

Boon, I anticipate a deeply religious experience.

Boon

Where are you going?

Katy

Home.

Boon

We just got here.

Katy

No, Boon, you just got here. I've been downstairs for an hour entertaining some kid from Pig's Knuckle, Arkansas.

Boon

Maybe we could drive up to your folks' place this weekend.

Katy

Oh, fabulous. My car filled with your beer buddies going up to empty my parents' liquor cabinet. It's too depressing to think about.

Boon

No! Just gonna be you and me. And Otter and another girl.

Katy

Is this really what you're gonna do for the rest of your life?

Boon

What do you mean?

Katy

Hanging around with a bunch of animals getting drunk every weekend.

Boon

No! After I graduate, I'm gonna get drunk every night.

Katy

Boon, I think I'm in love with a r***rd.

Boon

Is he bigger than me?

Dress that line. Dress that line, mister! Dress that line, soldier. Mister, hold my mount. [to Kent] You fat, disgusting slob! You're a goddamned disgrace!

Boon

A vicious mother, isn't he?

Otter

He can't do that to our pledges.

Boon

Only we can do that to our pledges.

Redo those buttons! Dress that belt buckle! Straighten that cap! And goddamn it, tuck up those pyjamas! Attention! Eyes front! What's that on your chest, mister?

Kent

It's a pledge pin, sir.

A pledge pin! On your uniform?
...

Just tell me, mister, what fraternity would pledge a man like you?

Kent

It's a Delta pin, sir.

Otter

He can't do that do that to our pledges.

Boon

Only we can do that to our pledges.

Boon

I want you to fix Pinto up, but it's got to be a very special girl.

Larry

Look, you don't have to...

Boon

Now, she should be good-looking, but we're willing to trade looks for a certain... morally casual attitude.

Katy

You mean you want someone who'll screw on the first date.

Boon

Well put. You see, Pinto's never been laid.

Larry

Hey!

Boon

What'd I say?

Jennings

Teaching is just a way to pay the bills until I finish my novel.

Boon

How long you been workin' on it?

Jennings

Four and a half years.

Larry

It must be very good.

Jennings

It's a piece of shit. Would anyone like to smoke some pot?

Boon

Yeah.

Jennings

You ever smoked before?

Boon

Sure.

Katy

When did you ever smoke pot?

Boon

I've done a lot of things you don't know about.

Hoover

We're in trouble. I just checked with the guys at the Jewish house and they said that every one of our answers on the Psych test was wrong.

Boon

Every one? [looks at Bluto and D-Day] Those assholes must have stolen the wrong **** exam!

Boon

It's not gonna be an orgy! It's a toga party.

Katy

Honestly, Boon, you're twenty-one years old. In six months you're going to graduate, and tomorrow night you're going to wrap yourself in a bed sheet and pour grain alcohol all over your head. It's cute, but I think I'll pass this time.

Boon

Want me to go alone?

Katy

Baby, I don't want you to go at all.

Boon

It's a fraternity party, I'm in the fraternity. How can I miss it?

Katy

I'll write you a note. I'll say you're too well to attend.

Boon

That's funny. Very funny.

Otter

Ah, she broke our date.

Boon

Washing her hair?

Otter

Dead mother.

Otter

Point of parliamentary procedure!

Hoover

Don't screw around, they're serious this time!

Otter

Take it easy, I'm pre-law.

Boon

I thought you were pre-med.

Otter

What's the difference?

Otter

Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did. [winks at Dean Wormer] But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but I for one am not going to stand here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!

Greg

Order!

Dean Wormer

You've done it this time buster! No more Delta! I'm calling the national office! I'm going to revoke your charter! And if you wiseguys do one more thing, one more, I'm going to kick you out of college! No more fun of any kind!

Neidermeyer [after Delta house is closed] How does it feel to be an independent, Schoenstein?

Boon

How does it feel to be an asshole, Neidermeyer?

Boon

Jesus. What's going on?

Hoover

They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal.

They took the bar! The whole **** bar!

Thanks. I needed that.

Hoover

Christ. This is ridiculous. What are we going to do?

Otter & Boon

Road trip.

If I was in your shoes, I'd be...

Boon

Leaving! What a good idea.

Flounder

I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer.

Boon

Face it, Kent. You threw up on Dean Wormer.

Boon

Jesus Christ! What happened? You look grotesque!

Otter

Some of the Omegas did a little dance on my face.

Boon

Who was it?

Otter

It was Greggie and Douggie...and some of the other Hitler youth.

Boon

What did you do?

Otter

I don't know. They're just animals, I guess.

Hey! What's this lying around shit?

Well, what the hell we s'posed to do, you moron?

War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.

Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

Otter

Germans?

Boon

Forget it, he's rolling.

And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough...[pauses to remember the rest of the phrase]... the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! [runs out, alone; then returns]

What the **** happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst! "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well, just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this! Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer—

Otter

Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.

And we're just the guys to do it.

Let's do it.

LET'S DO IT!!