Greg quotes from Animal House (1978)

Greg

I'm not going to say Omega's the best house on campus, but a lot of outstanding guys figure they'll pledge Omega or won't pledge at all. We do have more than our share of campus leaders, something that never looks bad on your permanent record.

Sure. Everybody says Omega's the best, but I hate to seem...you know, pushy.

Greg

Let the unacceptable candidates worry about that, because after tonight, they're....

Dean Wormer

Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus?

Greg

Well that would be hard to say, sir. They're each outstanding in their own way.

Dean Wormer

Cut the horseshit, son. I've got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode.

Greg

You're talking about Delta, sir.

Dean Wormer

Of course I'm talking about Delta, you TWERP! This year is going to be different. This year we are going to grab the bull by the BALLS and kick those punks off campus.

Greg

What do you intend to do sir? Delta's already on probation.

Dean Wormer

They are?

Greg

Yes, sir.

Dean Wormer

Oh. Then as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!

Greg

Double Secret Probation, Sir?

Dean Wormer

There is a little-known codicil in the Faber College constitution which gives the dean unlimited power to preserve order in time of campus emergency. Find me a way to revoke Delta's charter. You live next door. Put Neidermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little shit, just like you, right? [Greg nods] The time has come for someone to put their foot down. And that foot is me.

Otter

Bluto! I think you know everybody here.

Greg, can't you--

Otter

Don't worry. Just keep your hands and feet away from his mouth.

Greg

Don't you have any respect for yourself?

Babs

This is absolutely gross! That boy is a P-I-G, pig!

See if you can guess what I am now. [puts mashed potatoes in his mouth, then squeezes his cheeks, spraying them] I'm a zit. Get it?

Greg

All right, you bastard. Let's go, right here!

Otter

Point of parliamentary procedure!

Hoover

Don't screw around, they're serious this time!

Otter

Take it easy, I'm pre-law.

Boon

I thought you were pre-med.

Otter

What's the difference?

Otter

Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did. [winks at Dean Wormer] But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but I for one am not going to stand here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!

Greg

Order!

Dean Wormer

You've done it this time buster! No more Delta! I'm calling the national office! I'm going to revoke your charter! And if you wiseguys do one more thing, one more, I'm going to kick you out of college! No more fun of any kind!