Michael I have a dick on my face, don't I?
6th most-quoted character in 10 Things I Hate About You (1999): in 8 of its 79 quotes
Most scenes with: Patrick Verona (4), Cameron James (4)
The shit hath hiteth the fan... eth.
More lines from Michael
2 quotes Michael Michael I'm thinking about getting a Tercel. Yup, that's a Toyota.
Scenes with Michael
5 scenes
Wow, is this what a bar looks like?
Michael [Cameron reaches into a jar on the bar]
Don't touch anything! You may get hepatitis.
So, what have ya got for me?
Michael A little insight into a very complicated girl....Uhh, excuse me, just one question before we start. Should you be drinking alcohol when you don't have a liver?
Michael [Cameron and Patrick look confused]
Nevermind.
All right, first thing, Kat hates smokers.
So you're telling me I'm a... non-smoker.
Michael Yes... well, just for now.
And, umm, here's another problem. Bianca said that Kat likes... pretty guys.
Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy?
Michael H--... he's very pretty. He's a gorgeous guy.
Yeah... I... I... just wasn't sure.
All right, here's this... Likes Thai food, feminist prose and angry girl music of the indie rock persuasion. Here's a list of CDs she has in her room...
So, I'm supposed to buy her some noodles and a book and sit around listening to chicks who can't play their instruments, right?
Michael Have you ever been to Club Skunk?
Her favorite band's playing there tomorrow night.
I can't be seen at Club Skunk. All right?
But she'll be there, she's got tickets.
Michael Just assail your ears for one night.
She has a pair of black underwear... If that helps.
Michael [laughing cooly]
Couldn't hurt, right?
Michael Sweet love, renew thy force.
Don't say shit like that to me. People can hear you.
Michael Okay I talked to her, I got the scoop.
What'd she say?
Michael "Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns." That's a direct quote.
Thanks Michael. That's very comforting of you.
We are screwed
Michael Hey, I don't want to hear that defeatist attitude. I want to hear you upbeat.
Michael There you go
You're right. She's still pissed.
Michael Sweet love, renew thy force!
Hey, man! Don't say shit like that to me. People can hear you.
Look. you embarrassed the girl. Sacrifice yourself on the alter of dignity and even the score.
Michael [Patrick walks off]
Listen. Don't say shit like that to him. People can hear you.
