Thomas Haden Church movie quotes

View Quote [after Vincent retaliates by punching him in the face for accidentally shocking him] You guys wanna party, do ya? All right, then, let's party!

View Quote [bracing for impact when the Depelter Turbo activates] Prepare for a lot of stinging!

View Quote Skeeter: Wow!
Boy: Touch it.
Skeeter: Can I poke him?
Debbie: No! These poor little creatures.
Shelbyː What's going on.
Mackenzie: Come check it out. It's a dead possum.
[The animals made their way to the cooler while the humans gathered around.]
Gladys: Debbie? I don't remember seeing a permit app for a gathering. Groups of more than one who wish to get... AAAH!
Debbie: [to her son] Timmy, get the shovel from the car.
[Ozzie gasps. RJ motions for Ozzie to do something.]
Ozzie: Lights fading, limbs growing cold. - I see a tunnel.
Verne: [dismayed] Oh, no.
Ozzie: Mother, is that you beckoning me into the light? Must move toward the light.
Timmy: What do you think he's doing?
Skeeter: Maybe we knocked his brains loose or something.
Verne: I'm tellin' you, you went to far this time. Let's get out of here and leave this [picks up the blue cooler] You're dangerous! You're insane?!
RJ: Nice catch Verne.
Ozzie: Yes! Yes! Sweet mother, I'm going HOME! [coughs] Goodbye, cruel world!? [notices the flowerpot on the sidewalk] Oh! Ooh! [Whispers] Rosebud. [groans as he spins around, then falls on the ground and passes out]
Skeeter: Now can I poke him?
Debbie: No!
Gladys: You see? This is exactly why I called the exterminator, to kill them before they get hurt like this.
Verne: Everybody, get out of here right now!
RJ: Right! Kids, grab those handles. Get the stuff.
Verne: What?
Hammy: Here we go. I threw out my back.
[They carry the cooler but they hit a mailbox, causing the food to be spilled out. Verne looked and saw what appears to be a truck.]
RJ: Let's go.
Stella: Get down.
[They gather up the food and hide. Vern hides behind the car and watches the truck arrive.]
Verne: Oh, no.
[Shelby gasps Amazed]
Dwayne: [First Words] Ha! I believe someone phoned about an animal problem? The solution is standing before you. Dwayne LaFontant is here.
Gladys: Where have you been? I'm throwing a "Welcome to the Neighborhood" party, tomorrow and so far Debbie's car has killed more animals than you have.
Dwayne: Stand down, sister. I personally guarantee that there will not be a living thing at this party. The Verminator is on the job.
[The animals continue gathering the food into the cooler.]
Verne: Leave it. Leave it!
Dwayne: Now, what do we have here? [inhales] Didelphis marsupialis virginianus. Approximately ten pounds. [inhales] Male.
Debbie: I think he's dead.
Dwayne: Oh, really? Do you in fact have a associates degree from VermTech? I think he wants you to think he's dead.
[The animals drag the cooler into the hedge.]
Lou: Go! Go!
RJ: Move, move! That's it! Run! Go, voluntary shock state.
[RJ look back at Ozzie signals winked back]
Dwayne: Look at him closely. You can see him breathing.
Gladys: I certainly hope he's not in any pain.
[Ozzie leaps up and runs to the hedge.]
Dwayne: What the...?
Gladys: AAHH! Kill it! Kill it!
Ozzie: Thank you all for coming! You were a great audience!
Boys: Oh, man!
Dwayne: All right, what am I up against here? Possum, porcupine, skunk, squirrel, raccoon, amphibian.
Verne: Reptile.
Dwayne: No. Reptile.

View Quote [Leaving his wife's low rent apartment] I'm not a bad person, I just have bad luck.

View Quote [Saying goodbye to his sick daughter] I missed you, Penny... I promise, I will make you healthy again, no matter what it takes, I'll get the money.

View Quote [To Spider-Man in the armored car] I don't want to hurt you. Leave, now.

View Quote Either quit smoking or get a new lighter.

View Quote Peterson: Are you gonna kill me?
Murphy: Not 'til you get the safe open.
[Murphy smiles]
Murphy: Now that's a joke. Open the safe.

View Quote Cybil Waingrow: This looks Beautiful.
Murphy: It's one of my favorite pieces.
Cybil Waingrow: Yeah. Where's it from?
Murphy: [whispers] Out my ass.
Cybil Waingrow: Excuse me.
Murphy: It's an African piece.
Cybil Waingrow: Looks Egyptian to me.

View Quote Peter! It's me, Marko! Remember!?

View Quote A different Peter. Weird.

View Quote They both died. Fighting Spider-Man. It was all over the news. Green Goblin, impaled by the glider he flew around on. And a couple years later, you, Doc Ock, drowned in the river with your machine.

View Quote Billy Clanton: Is that "Old Dog Tray?" It sounds to me like "Old Dog Tray." You know, Stephen Foster. "Oh, Susannah," "Camptown Races." Stephen stinking Foster!
Doc: Ah, yes. Well, this happens to be a nocturne.
Billy Clanton: A which?
Doc: You know, Frederic **** Chopin.

View Quote [Billy Clanton is antagonizing Doc Holliday, who is playing Chopin on a harpsichord]'
Billy Clanton: You know any Stephen Foster?
Doc Holliday: [annoyed] Pardon?
Billy: Stephen Foster. Oh, Susannah, Camptown Races. Stephen stinkin' Foster!
Doc: Well, this happens to be a nocturne.
Billy: [confused] A which?
Doc: A nocturne! You know, Frederic **** Chopin?

View Quote [Curly Bill has just shot Marshal White to death. Wyatt has him by his ear, and is fending off an erstwhile lynch mob, announcing his intent to take him before the judge in Tucson when he is accosted by the Clanton brothers.]
Ike Clanton: Hey, Kansas law dog, you turn him loose or we'll tear you apart...
Wyatt Earp: [presses his pistol to Ike's forehead] You die first, get it? Your friends might get me in a rush, but not before I make your head into a canoe, you understand me?
Billy Clanton: He's bluffing! Let's take him!
Ike: [frightened] No, he's not bluffing.
Wyatt: You ain't as stupid as you look, Ike..
Doc: [stepping out from the saloon, towards Billy Clanton, with gun drawn] And you, music lover, you're next.
Billy Clanton: It's the drunk piano player. You couldn't hit nothin'. [Draws knife.] In fact, you're probably seeing *double*.
Doc: [draws second gun] I have two guns, one for each of you.

View Quote You don't understand my plight.

View Quote Consult your doctor before using this product. Side effects may include oily discharge, hives, loss of appetite, low blood pressure. If you have diabetes or a history of kidney trouble, you're dead, asshole!

View Quote [Eleanor is watching tape] Come to my wrestling school in Ayden, North Carolina. And become a disciple of Salt Water Redneck. You can become not only a badass, but the badass. You will learn.