Ned Ryerson
Don't tell me you don't remember me because I sure as heckfire remember you....Ned!...Ryerson! Needle-nose Ned, Ned the Head, c'mon buddy! Case Western High!
Ned Ryerson
Ned Ryerson
Do you have life insurance? 'Cause if you do, you could always use a little more! Am I right or am I right or am I right? Right, right, right?
Ned Ryerson
Watch that step! It's a doozie!
Happy Chapman
I believe you found my dog. He answers to "Odie".
Mrs. Baker
Odie?
Happy Chapman
Family name. Oh, Odie! Oh, come on! There you are! Yes! I can live again now. How could I ever repay you?
Mrs. Baker
An autograph would be splendid!
Happy Chapman
Then splendid it shall be.
Dog Show Host
[While the dogs still chasing Garfield, Odie still dancing in the arena.]
We certainly have a new star in the arena. Ladies and gentlemen, this is amazing!
Jon
It's Odie!
Happy Chapman
Talented little fella, huh?
Happy Chapman
(arrogantly)
I can't go on like this anymore, Wendell. I've got to get a dog.
Wendell
Well I think that is a lovely idea! I know you've been sad and lonely since the divorce, and I've tried to be a friend...
Happy Chapman
Not for me, you imbecile! For the act! If I could get my hands on a really talented dog, wouldn't Walter J. just choke on his Emmy?
Wendell
(sees something)
Like Odie?
Happy Chapman
Yeah, yeah. Now he was good. He was kind of dopey-looking and spry and--
Wendell
(sees the LOST poster)
Lost? (sees Odie on the poster)
Happy Chapman
Huh? (Chapman comes over to the window to see the lost poster; His eyes widen upon recognizing the dog)
Mr. Bates
Today is a lovely day for a pop quiz. All of you should have finished reading Hamlet by now. I'm going to ask each one of you a question, and you will be graded according to your answer.
Tess [in Anna's body]: Oh, thank God it's Hamlet. I was in that play in high... I just know the play.
Maddie
Like that'll help you.
Mr. Bates [to a student]: Mr. Waters, describe the character of Hamlet.
Mr. Waters
Hamlet. He's, uh... he's one of the big characters. I mean, he's Hamlet. He's just... bopping around... doesn't know which way's up. I don't think the guy's got a clue.
Mr. Bates
You mean to say that he is a man...
Mr. Waters
Yeah.
Mr. Bates
Who couldn't make up his... mind.
Mr. Waters
...mind. Exactly.
Mr. Bates
Good. B.
Mr. Waters
All right. Yeah.
Mr. Bates
Ms. Coleman.
Tess [in Anna's body]: Yes, Mr. Bates?
Mr. Bates
What are the central conflicts in Hamlet?
Tess [in Anna's body]: Well, political, of course, because Claudius usurped his father's throne. Oedipal, because of the undercurrents with his mother. Then there is the timeless question of insanity. Is he really seeing his father's ghost, or is he simply mad?
Mr. Bates
That is seriously overreaching. F.
Tess [in Anna's body]: F?
Mr. Bates
F. Mr. Franelli, who is Fortinbras?
Anna
Mr. Bates, I really don't understand this Frankie.
Mr. Bates
You completely missed the point of the book.
Anna
It's "1984". How could anyone miss it? It's a blatant attack on totalitarianism, about a rigid society, dominated by one all-powerful, ego-tripping dictator—
Mr. Bates
My grade is final.
Anna
Except he had hair. [Walks away]
Mr. Bates
[Calling after her]
Anna!
Tess (in Anna's body): [Confronting Mr. Bates for failing her answer that was correct] Mr. Bates, may I please speak with you?
Mr. Bates
I think that would be fairly pointless, but go ahead.
Tess (in Anna's body): By what stretch of the imagination...I mean, like, how could I, like, get an F? What mistakes did I make?
Mr. Bates
Grading is subjective.
Tess (in Anna's body): That was a college-level analysis!
Mr. Bates
And you're qualified to make that assessment?
Tess (in Anna's body): As a matter of fact, I most certainly am.
Mr. Bates
Well, in the words of Hamlet, "What's done is done."
Tess (in Anna's body): [annoyed] That's Macbeth, you know-nothing twit– [upon realization] Bates! Elton Bates! Griffith High School.
Mr. Bates
How do you know that?
Tess (in Anna's body): You asked me...I mean, my mom to the prom, but she turned you down.
Mr. Bates
This is not an appropriate subject-
Tess (in Anna's body): And now you're taking it out on her daughter, aren't you? Aren't you?!
Mr. Bates
I don't know what you're talking about!
Tess (in Anna's body): Oh, come on! It was a high school dance! You've got to let it go and move on, man! And if you don't, I'm sure the school board would love to hear about your pathetic vendetta against an innocent student. [Starts to leave, but stops to make a final remark] Oh, and by the way, Elton, she had a boyfriend, and you were weird. [Mr. Bates is stunned into guilt]