Maurice LaMarche movie quotes
15 quotes from 4 movies
Hey Arnold!: The Movie (2002) as Big Bob Pataki
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[Helga comes home]
Helga Pataki: Dad! [To Miriam sleeping on a table] How's it going, Miriam?
Miriam Pataki: Oh. Molasses, it's you. [Helga hears voices]
[Big Bob Pataki, a looks like being, one point muscular, brown hair, short-sleeve green golf shirt, dark brown pants and black shoes, they three other guys]
Big Bob Pataki: [first words] Okay, great, but where's the store go?
Nick Vermicelli: [first words as Nick Vermicelli was seen gathered around a model of the neighborhood on a table] Alright. Right here. Big Bob's Beeper Emporium. Big sign, can't miss it from the freeway, and the overpass drops you big-bang-boom right in the parkin' lot.
Big Bob Pataki: That's good. Yeah, right in the stinkin' lot.
Helga Pataki: Dad?
Big Bob Pataki: What do you want, Olga?
Helga Pataki: It's Helga, Dad.
Big Bob Pataki: Right, Helga. That's what I said.
Helga Pataki: Could I talk to you?
Nick Vermicelli: We gotta split anyway, Bob. We'll talk.
Big Bob Pataki: Right, we'll talk. And send me the paperwork, I can't wait to get started. Hey, can I keep this pop-up thing? [He points at the model]
Nick Vermicelli: You got it. [Nick and the other men leave the room]
Big Bob Pataki: Alright. [to Helga] You know what this is? It's our future. See, here's where my new Super Beeper Emporium is gonna go up, right after we rip down the flower shop, and Green Meats and the rest of the block.
Helga Pataki: Uh yeah, well, uh, about all that, Dad... I mean a lot of people are gonna have to move away and sell their businesses.
Big Bob Pataki: Yeah, what's your point?
Helga Pataki: Well, I was just wondering if this whole tear-down-the-neighborhood Future Tech thing is really necessary.
Big Bob Pataki: Of course, it's necessary. It's more than necessary. It's progress. You can't have progress without a little pain. No pain, no gain.
Helga Pataki: But what's wrong with leaving things the way they are?
Big Bob Pataki: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, missy. Leave things the way they are and Big Bob's Super Beeper Emporium doesn't happen.
Helga Pataki: But, Dad...
Big Bob Pataki: Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey! I'll say this once, and I want you to hear it, little lady. Change is good. When the new Big Bob's Super Beeper Emporium goes up, the cash is gonna roll in and you'll forget all about the old neighborhood. And do you know why? Because we'll be rich. And that means you'll be rich. You can have that pony you've been wantin'.
Helga Pataki: Dad, I wanted a pony when I was five.
Big Bob Pataki: Uh. Well, what do you want now?
Helga Pataki: I don't know.
Big Bob Pataki: Well, make up your mind, 'cause once this neighborhood goes down and my store goes up, you can have anything you want. And I mean anything.
Helga Pataki: [looks at fashion magazine] Anything?
Big Bob Pataki: That's what I said. We're gonna be stinkin' rich, girl. Rich. What's more important than that, huh?
Helga Pataki: Dad! [To Miriam sleeping on a table] How's it going, Miriam?
Miriam Pataki: Oh. Molasses, it's you. [Helga hears voices]
[Big Bob Pataki, a looks like being, one point muscular, brown hair, short-sleeve green golf shirt, dark brown pants and black shoes, they three other guys]
Big Bob Pataki: [first words] Okay, great, but where's the store go?
Nick Vermicelli: [first words as Nick Vermicelli was seen gathered around a model of the neighborhood on a table] Alright. Right here. Big Bob's Beeper Emporium. Big sign, can't miss it from the freeway, and the overpass drops you big-bang-boom right in the parkin' lot.
Big Bob Pataki: That's good. Yeah, right in the stinkin' lot.
Helga Pataki: Dad?
Big Bob Pataki: What do you want, Olga?
Helga Pataki: It's Helga, Dad.
Big Bob Pataki: Right, Helga. That's what I said.
Helga Pataki: Could I talk to you?
Nick Vermicelli: We gotta split anyway, Bob. We'll talk.
Big Bob Pataki: Right, we'll talk. And send me the paperwork, I can't wait to get started. Hey, can I keep this pop-up thing? [He points at the model]
Nick Vermicelli: You got it. [Nick and the other men leave the room]
Big Bob Pataki: Alright. [to Helga] You know what this is? It's our future. See, here's where my new Super Beeper Emporium is gonna go up, right after we rip down the flower shop, and Green Meats and the rest of the block.
Helga Pataki: Uh yeah, well, uh, about all that, Dad... I mean a lot of people are gonna have to move away and sell their businesses.
Big Bob Pataki: Yeah, what's your point?
Helga Pataki: Well, I was just wondering if this whole tear-down-the-neighborhood Future Tech thing is really necessary.
Big Bob Pataki: Of course, it's necessary. It's more than necessary. It's progress. You can't have progress without a little pain. No pain, no gain.
Helga Pataki: But what's wrong with leaving things the way they are?
Big Bob Pataki: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, missy. Leave things the way they are and Big Bob's Super Beeper Emporium doesn't happen.
Helga Pataki: But, Dad...
Big Bob Pataki: Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey! I'll say this once, and I want you to hear it, little lady. Change is good. When the new Big Bob's Super Beeper Emporium goes up, the cash is gonna roll in and you'll forget all about the old neighborhood. And do you know why? Because we'll be rich. And that means you'll be rich. You can have that pony you've been wantin'.
Helga Pataki: Dad, I wanted a pony when I was five.
Big Bob Pataki: Uh. Well, what do you want now?
Helga Pataki: I don't know.
Big Bob Pataki: Well, make up your mind, 'cause once this neighborhood goes down and my store goes up, you can have anything you want. And I mean anything.
Helga Pataki: [looks at fashion magazine] Anything?
Big Bob Pataki: That's what I said. We're gonna be stinkin' rich, girl. Rich. What's more important than that, huh?
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[Ernie Potts plays accordion; Oskar Kokoshka and Mailman Harvey play saxophone; Grandpa (wearing a rasta wig) is on drums; Mr. Hyunh plays guitar; Suzie Kokoshka is a DJ; Grandma is tap dancing. Arnold and Gerald are at controls. They all play some kind of strange pokla rock music, and Grandpa smashes one of Suzie's records, annoyed by her DJ techniques. The crowd is cheering]
Helga Pataki: [watching from a roof] Blockapalooza, hah! Please.
Reporter: [for TV] It's called Blockapalooza, a last-ditch effort to save a forgotten neighborhood from the wrecking ball. A classic story of the little guy pitted against the corporate giant.
[Nick Vermicelli and Big Bob are watching TV at Big Bob's house]
Big Bob Pataki: What the heck are they doing? They'll mess up the whole deal!
Nick Vermicelli: Forget about it. It's all taken care of.
Arnold: [on TV] You know what this is about. It's our last chance to stand up and tell Future Tech Industries that we won't sell. We won't let 'em tear down our neighborhood.
[The crowd on TV screen is cheering]
Nick Vermicelli: One of our guys intercepted their permit, thereby making the whole assemblage illegal.
[Police cars suddenly appear at the party]
Officer: Go, go, go!
[The crowd is panicking. Police breaks up the party. People are running away]
Gerald Johanssen: [to the officer] Hey, what's going on?
Riot Cop: This whole assemblage is illegal.
Arnold: But we filed a permit.
Riot Cop: We never got any permit.
[Nick Vermicelli and Big Bob are laughing at the TV screen]
Voice: Please disperse from this area at once!
Arnold: Grandma?
Grandma Gertie: Bring on your worst. We shall not be moved. [She chains herself to the door of the Sunset Arms]
Officer: Come on. Nice and easy. [Grandma almost bites him]
Grandpa Phil: Hey! Stop, that's a frail old lady!
Grandma Gertie: [while she and the door she's chained to are carried into the SPAT car] Never give up Arnold. Never give in. Save the neighborhood. One if by land, two if by sea. Put the lime in the coconut. Mix it all up. [The car speeds away while she laughs]
Helga Pataki: [watching from a roof] Blockapalooza, hah! Please.
Reporter: [for TV] It's called Blockapalooza, a last-ditch effort to save a forgotten neighborhood from the wrecking ball. A classic story of the little guy pitted against the corporate giant.
[Nick Vermicelli and Big Bob are watching TV at Big Bob's house]
Big Bob Pataki: What the heck are they doing? They'll mess up the whole deal!
Nick Vermicelli: Forget about it. It's all taken care of.
Arnold: [on TV] You know what this is about. It's our last chance to stand up and tell Future Tech Industries that we won't sell. We won't let 'em tear down our neighborhood.
[The crowd on TV screen is cheering]
Nick Vermicelli: One of our guys intercepted their permit, thereby making the whole assemblage illegal.
[Police cars suddenly appear at the party]
Officer: Go, go, go!
[The crowd is panicking. Police breaks up the party. People are running away]
Gerald Johanssen: [to the officer] Hey, what's going on?
Riot Cop: This whole assemblage is illegal.
Arnold: But we filed a permit.
Riot Cop: We never got any permit.
[Nick Vermicelli and Big Bob are laughing at the TV screen]
Voice: Please disperse from this area at once!
Arnold: Grandma?
Grandma Gertie: Bring on your worst. We shall not be moved. [She chains herself to the door of the Sunset Arms]
Officer: Come on. Nice and easy. [Grandma almost bites him]
Grandpa Phil: Hey! Stop, that's a frail old lady!
Grandma Gertie: [while she and the door she's chained to are carried into the SPAT car] Never give up Arnold. Never give in. Save the neighborhood. One if by land, two if by sea. Put the lime in the coconut. Mix it all up. [The car speeds away while she laughs]
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[Big Bob is looking at the model again]
Big Bob Pataki: So, my Super Beeper Emporium is going right here where we're knocking down these old shops, right?
Nick Vermicelli: That's right, Bob.
Big Bob Pataki: And that's in the contract, right?
Nick Vermicelli: Absolutely?!
Big Bob Pataki: And there's no funny business in it, right?
Nick Vermicelli: Hey, Bob! What am I, a rat fink? It's all on the up-and-up. Trust me, all you gotta do is sign. [He gives Big Bob the contract]
Big Bob Pataki: [signs the contract] Big... Bob... Pataki!
[Helga is walking dowstairs and hears the men's voices]
Big Bob Pataki: So, my Super Beeper Emporium is going right here where we're knocking down these old shops, right?
Nick Vermicelli: That's right, Bob.
Big Bob Pataki: And that's in the contract, right?
Nick Vermicelli: Absolutely?!
Big Bob Pataki: And there's no funny business in it, right?
Nick Vermicelli: Hey, Bob! What am I, a rat fink? It's all on the up-and-up. Trust me, all you gotta do is sign. [He gives Big Bob the contract]
Big Bob Pataki: [signs the contract] Big... Bob... Pataki!
[Helga is walking dowstairs and hears the men's voices]
Team America: World Police (2004) as Alec Baldwin
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Alec Baldwin: We are here to usher in a new era without violence. By following the rules of the Film Actors Guild, the world can become a better place ...that handles dangerous people with talk, and reasoning. That... is the **** way. One day you will all look at the world us actors created and say, "Wow, good goin', ****. You really made the world a better place, didn't ya, ****?"
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[Gary Johnston is pelted with rotten tomatoes]
Alec Baldwin: [To Gary] You cant out-act me, boy: don't even try it! [to audience] For the truth is: Team America fights for the billion-dollar corporations. They are just as bad as the enemies... they... [dramatic pause] fight. [applause]
Gary Johnston: Oh, no, we are'nt! We're dicks! [surprise from audience] We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild... are pussies. And Kim Jong Il... is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get **** by dicks. But dicks - also - **** - assholes... assholes who just wanna shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can **** an asshole... is a dick... with some balls. The problem with dicks is, sometimes they **** too much or **** when it isn't appropriate...
Spottswoode: Yes, Gary, yes!
Gary Johnston: ...and it takes a pussy to show 'em that. But sometimes, pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are only an inch and half away from assholes. [music of awe] I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world, but I do know: If you don't let us **** - this - asshole, we're going to have our dicks and our pussies all covered in shit!
Alec Baldwin: [To Gary] You cant out-act me, boy: don't even try it! [to audience] For the truth is: Team America fights for the billion-dollar corporations. They are just as bad as the enemies... they... [dramatic pause] fight. [applause]
Gary Johnston: Oh, no, we are'nt! We're dicks! [surprise from audience] We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild... are pussies. And Kim Jong Il... is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get **** by dicks. But dicks - also - **** - assholes... assholes who just wanna shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can **** an asshole... is a dick... with some balls. The problem with dicks is, sometimes they **** too much or **** when it isn't appropriate...
Spottswoode: Yes, Gary, yes!
Gary Johnston: ...and it takes a pussy to show 'em that. But sometimes, pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are only an inch and half away from assholes. [music of awe] I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world, but I do know: If you don't let us **** - this - asshole, we're going to have our dicks and our pussies all covered in shit!
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[The terrorists have bombed the Panama Canal]
Sarah: But... how can that be? Gary stopped the terrorists in Cairo.
Spottswoode: It appears now that I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. was wrong about the Chechnyans being in charge. [turns towards the machine] That was bad, I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. Very bad intelligence.
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.: I'm sorry.
Spottswoode: Team, if the Derka-derkistanis have weapons of mass destruction, I'm afraid it could be nine-eleven... times a thousand.
Sarah: Jesus, you mean...?
Spottswoode: Yes. Nine hundred and eleven thousand.
Chris: Well, then forget all these assholes! We have work to do!
Spottswoode: Yes! Let's get Gary valmorphanized so we can use his acting!
Spottswoode: Remember, there is no "I" in "Team America".
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.: [pause] Yes there is.
Unused dialogue: Spottswoode: Team, this is all my fault. I screwed up with Cairo. [pause] I let racism cloud my judgment. [pause] I was so sure the world's ultimate terrorist must be Middle Eastern that... I never suspected he was a God damn gook. I'll never be racist again.
[Gary walks in with packed bags, drops them on the floor]
Spottswoode: Where are you going, Gary??
Gary: Don't you get it? Everyone hates us!!
Spottswoode: Now, now... Everyone hated Winnie the Pooh, too.
Gary: [pause] No they didn't!
Spottswoode: Well, I did. That cocksucking bear killed Jack Kennedy!
Spottswoode: Je - sus - Tit - ty - **** - ing! .....CHRIIIIIIST!!!
Sarah: We've lost I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E! I repeat, we have no I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E,!
[Sarah's plane is crashing]
Sarah: I sense I'm going down.
[Kim Jong Il brings up the Middle Eastern terrorists on a large viewscreen]
Kim Jong Il: Okay: who brew up Panama Canal?
Terrorist: We were angry about Cairo.
Kim Jong Il: Goddammit, how many times I have to tew you? You don't use the WMDs until you see the signal! I have worked ten years on this pran! It is a very pwecise, and a compricated pran! I am sick of you terrorists **** it up!! Now take the weapons where I told you and wait for the goddamn signal this time! Goodbye!! [flicks the screen off] Why is everyone so **** stupid? Why aren't more peopre interrigent, rike me?:
[Song: Ronery]
[Gary is drinking his depression away]
Gary Johnston: I'm a dick!
Drunk guy: Well, being a dick ain't so bad. See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just wanna **** all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because... pussies get **** by dicks. But dicks also-****-assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't **** the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit! [Gary pukes]
Alec Baldwin: What the world needs is an international advisory committee who truly understands global politics. Namely, us.
Janeane Garofalo: As actors, it is our responsibility to read the newspapers, and then say what we read on television like it's our own opinion.
Matt Damon: Matt Damon!
[Chris is experiencing some electro-torture at the hands of a Korean guard]
Chris: [gazes upon his torturer] I'm gonna **** kill you!
Kim Jong Il: You're not in a position to kill anyone, my red-write-and brue-friend.
Lisa: So you're the bastard planning nine-eleven times a thousand.
Kim Jong Il: Nooo, you think so small. You see, I'm about to have an eraborate peace ceremony. And while all the world's most important people are distracted here, I will detonate the WMDs, which I have given to terrrice... awr around the grobe. [looks down on Sarah] It will be nine-eleven times... two thousand three hundred and fifty six!
Chris: My God... That's... I don't even know what that is!
Kim Jong Il: Nobody does!!
Kim Jong il: You are da rast of a dying breed...the fwag-waving American. Well, your wittle dweam will soon be over.
Sarah: But... how can that be? Gary stopped the terrorists in Cairo.
Spottswoode: It appears now that I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. was wrong about the Chechnyans being in charge. [turns towards the machine] That was bad, I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. Very bad intelligence.
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.: I'm sorry.
Spottswoode: Team, if the Derka-derkistanis have weapons of mass destruction, I'm afraid it could be nine-eleven... times a thousand.
Sarah: Jesus, you mean...?
Spottswoode: Yes. Nine hundred and eleven thousand.
Chris: Well, then forget all these assholes! We have work to do!
Spottswoode: Yes! Let's get Gary valmorphanized so we can use his acting!
Spottswoode: Remember, there is no "I" in "Team America".
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.: [pause] Yes there is.
Unused dialogue: Spottswoode: Team, this is all my fault. I screwed up with Cairo. [pause] I let racism cloud my judgment. [pause] I was so sure the world's ultimate terrorist must be Middle Eastern that... I never suspected he was a God damn gook. I'll never be racist again.
[Gary walks in with packed bags, drops them on the floor]
Spottswoode: Where are you going, Gary??
Gary: Don't you get it? Everyone hates us!!
Spottswoode: Now, now... Everyone hated Winnie the Pooh, too.
Gary: [pause] No they didn't!
Spottswoode: Well, I did. That cocksucking bear killed Jack Kennedy!
Spottswoode: Je - sus - Tit - ty - **** - ing! .....CHRIIIIIIST!!!
Sarah: We've lost I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E! I repeat, we have no I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E,!
[Sarah's plane is crashing]
Sarah: I sense I'm going down.
[Kim Jong Il brings up the Middle Eastern terrorists on a large viewscreen]
Kim Jong Il: Okay: who brew up Panama Canal?
Terrorist: We were angry about Cairo.
Kim Jong Il: Goddammit, how many times I have to tew you? You don't use the WMDs until you see the signal! I have worked ten years on this pran! It is a very pwecise, and a compricated pran! I am sick of you terrorists **** it up!! Now take the weapons where I told you and wait for the goddamn signal this time! Goodbye!! [flicks the screen off] Why is everyone so **** stupid? Why aren't more peopre interrigent, rike me?:
[Song: Ronery]
[Gary is drinking his depression away]
Gary Johnston: I'm a dick!
Drunk guy: Well, being a dick ain't so bad. See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just wanna **** all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because... pussies get **** by dicks. But dicks also-****-assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't **** the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit! [Gary pukes]
Alec Baldwin: What the world needs is an international advisory committee who truly understands global politics. Namely, us.
Janeane Garofalo: As actors, it is our responsibility to read the newspapers, and then say what we read on television like it's our own opinion.
Matt Damon: Matt Damon!
[Chris is experiencing some electro-torture at the hands of a Korean guard]
Chris: [gazes upon his torturer] I'm gonna **** kill you!
Kim Jong Il: You're not in a position to kill anyone, my red-write-and brue-friend.
Lisa: So you're the bastard planning nine-eleven times a thousand.
Kim Jong Il: Nooo, you think so small. You see, I'm about to have an eraborate peace ceremony. And while all the world's most important people are distracted here, I will detonate the WMDs, which I have given to terrrice... awr around the grobe. [looks down on Sarah] It will be nine-eleven times... two thousand three hundred and fifty six!
Chris: My God... That's... I don't even know what that is!
Kim Jong Il: Nobody does!!
Kim Jong il: You are da rast of a dying breed...the fwag-waving American. Well, your wittle dweam will soon be over.
Wakko's Wish (1999) as Brain
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Brain: [flying in the Air-Screw] With the wind at our backs, all we have to do is maintain this velocity, and we'll be the first to reach the wishing star! Do you know what that means Pinky?
Pinky: What does what mean?
Brain: Just skip it.
Pinky: Skip what?
Brain: Grrrrr! Just stop!
Pinky: 'Kay.
[stops pedaling. They fall]
Brain: AAAAAHHHH! NO! Keep pedaling! Keep pedaling Pinky!
[he does]
Brain: Huh, huh... You almost killed us, Pinky! What were you thinking?
Pinky: But you said stop! You really did Brain, you said 'stop.'
Brain: Ignore what I say!
Pinky: Really?
Brain: Yes, just keep pedaling!
Pinky: 'Kay.
[stops pedaling again]
Brain: NOOOOOO! What are you doing?
Pinky: Ignoring what you say.
Brain: Not about that!
Pinky: Not about what?
Brain: Just KEEP PEDALING!
Pinky: [starts pedaling again] Sometimes you are so confused, Brain.
Pinky: What does what mean?
Brain: Just skip it.
Pinky: Skip what?
Brain: Grrrrr! Just stop!
Pinky: 'Kay.
[stops pedaling. They fall]
Brain: AAAAAHHHH! NO! Keep pedaling! Keep pedaling Pinky!
[he does]
Brain: Huh, huh... You almost killed us, Pinky! What were you thinking?
Pinky: But you said stop! You really did Brain, you said 'stop.'
Brain: Ignore what I say!
Pinky: Really?
Brain: Yes, just keep pedaling!
Pinky: 'Kay.
[stops pedaling again]
Brain: NOOOOOO! What are you doing?
Pinky: Ignoring what you say.
Brain: Not about that!
Pinky: Not about what?
Brain: Just KEEP PEDALING!
Pinky: [starts pedaling again] Sometimes you are so confused, Brain.
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Brain: Pinky, I knew I'd find you out here wasting time with this horse.
Pinky: But Pharfigneuten and I have pledged out hearts to each other!
Brain: Pinky, that is a horse. You are a mouse.
Pinky: Oh, Brain, don't be so intolerant. Why can't the horses and the mice live together in harmony? Along with the fairies and the wood sprites and the bean sprouts?
Brain: I stand corrected, Pinky. That is a horse, you are an imbecile.
Pinky: Thank you!
Pinky: But Pharfigneuten and I have pledged out hearts to each other!
Brain: Pinky, that is a horse. You are a mouse.
Pinky: Oh, Brain, don't be so intolerant. Why can't the horses and the mice live together in harmony? Along with the fairies and the wood sprites and the bean sprouts?
Brain: I stand corrected, Pinky. That is a horse, you are an imbecile.
Pinky: Thank you!
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Pinky: But Brain, how ever will we get to the wishing star first?
Brain: Simple, Pinky. With the help of the great Leonardo DaVinci.
Pinky: He is going to give us a ride there in his pant cuffs?
Brain: No Pinky. DaVinci is dead.
Pinky: Oh, how sad. When's the funeral?
Brain: He died a long time ago.
Pinky: And I forgot to send flowers? Stupid! Stupid! STUPID!
Brain: No, Pinky, allow me.
[Smacks him with his pencil]
Brain: STUPID!
Brain: Simple, Pinky. With the help of the great Leonardo DaVinci.
Pinky: He is going to give us a ride there in his pant cuffs?
Brain: No Pinky. DaVinci is dead.
Pinky: Oh, how sad. When's the funeral?
Brain: He died a long time ago.
Pinky: And I forgot to send flowers? Stupid! Stupid! STUPID!
Brain: No, Pinky, allow me.
[Smacks him with his pencil]
Brain: STUPID!
Zootopia (2016) as Mr. Big
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[Mr. Big, a crime boss arctic shrew, is interrogating Nick after two polar bears brought him and Judy to his home.]
Mr. Big: [speaking in a Vito-Corleone-style voice] You come here unannounced on the day my daughter is to be married.
Nick: Well, actually, we were brought here against our will, so... [laughs nervously; Mr. Big gives him a look] Point is, I, I did not know that it was your car, and I certainly did not know about your daughter's wedding.
Mr. Big: I trusted you, Nicky. I welcomed you into my home. We broke bread together. Grandmama made you a cannoli. And how did you repay my generosity? With a rug, made from the butt of a skunk. A skunk butt rug. You disrespected me. You disrespected my Grandmama, whom I buried in that skunk butt rug. [Koslov crosses his chest in prayer.] I told you to never to show your face here again, but here you are, snooping around with this... [to Judy] What are you, a performer? What's with the costume?
Judy: Sir, I am a co-
Nick: Mime! She is a mime! This mime cannot speak! You can't speak if you're a mime.
Judy: No, I am a cop. [Nick sighs; Judy shows the Otterton picture] And I'm on the Emmitt Otterton case, and my evidence puts him in your car! So intimidate me all you want, I'm gonna find out what you did to that otter if it's the last thing I do.
Mr. Big: Then I have only one request: Say hello to Grandmama. [to the polar bears] Ice 'em!
[The polar bears grab Judy and Nick.]
Nick: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn't see nothing! I'm not saying nothing!
Mr. Big: And you never will.
Nick: Please!
Judy: Put me down! [the polar bears open a trap door, revealing an ice water pit below and dangle Judy and Nick]
Nick: No, no, no, no, no! If you're mad at me about the rug, I've got more rugs!
Fru Fru: [enters the room in a wedding dress] Oh, Daddy! It's time for our dance! [sees the polar bears, holding Judy and Nick above the pit; upset] Uh! What did we say? No icing anyone at my wedding!
Mr. Big: I have to baby, Daddy has to. Ice 'em! [the polar bears prepare to lower Judy and Nick]
Nick: No, no, no!
Fru Fru: Wait. Wait! [the polar bears stop again] She's the bunny that saved my life yesterday! From that giant donut!
Mr. Big: This bunny?
Fru Fru: Yeah! [waves to Judy] Hi!
Judy: Hi. I love your dress!
Fru Fru: Aw... Thank you!
Mr. Big: Hm. Put 'em down. [the polar bears close the trap door and put Judy and Nick down; to Judy] You have done me a great service. I will help you find the otter. I will take your kindness and pay it forward. [Judy leans forward and Mr. Big kisses Judy on both cheeks. Nick looks at them dumbfounded]
Mr. Big: [speaking in a Vito-Corleone-style voice] You come here unannounced on the day my daughter is to be married.
Nick: Well, actually, we were brought here against our will, so... [laughs nervously; Mr. Big gives him a look] Point is, I, I did not know that it was your car, and I certainly did not know about your daughter's wedding.
Mr. Big: I trusted you, Nicky. I welcomed you into my home. We broke bread together. Grandmama made you a cannoli. And how did you repay my generosity? With a rug, made from the butt of a skunk. A skunk butt rug. You disrespected me. You disrespected my Grandmama, whom I buried in that skunk butt rug. [Koslov crosses his chest in prayer.] I told you to never to show your face here again, but here you are, snooping around with this... [to Judy] What are you, a performer? What's with the costume?
Judy: Sir, I am a co-
Nick: Mime! She is a mime! This mime cannot speak! You can't speak if you're a mime.
Judy: No, I am a cop. [Nick sighs; Judy shows the Otterton picture] And I'm on the Emmitt Otterton case, and my evidence puts him in your car! So intimidate me all you want, I'm gonna find out what you did to that otter if it's the last thing I do.
Mr. Big: Then I have only one request: Say hello to Grandmama. [to the polar bears] Ice 'em!
[The polar bears grab Judy and Nick.]
Nick: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn't see nothing! I'm not saying nothing!
Mr. Big: And you never will.
Nick: Please!
Judy: Put me down! [the polar bears open a trap door, revealing an ice water pit below and dangle Judy and Nick]
Nick: No, no, no, no, no! If you're mad at me about the rug, I've got more rugs!
Fru Fru: [enters the room in a wedding dress] Oh, Daddy! It's time for our dance! [sees the polar bears, holding Judy and Nick above the pit; upset] Uh! What did we say? No icing anyone at my wedding!
Mr. Big: I have to baby, Daddy has to. Ice 'em! [the polar bears prepare to lower Judy and Nick]
Nick: No, no, no!
Fru Fru: Wait. Wait! [the polar bears stop again] She's the bunny that saved my life yesterday! From that giant donut!
Mr. Big: This bunny?
Fru Fru: Yeah! [waves to Judy] Hi!
Judy: Hi. I love your dress!
Fru Fru: Aw... Thank you!
Mr. Big: Hm. Put 'em down. [the polar bears close the trap door and put Judy and Nick down; to Judy] You have done me a great service. I will help you find the otter. I will take your kindness and pay it forward. [Judy leans forward and Mr. Big kisses Judy on both cheeks. Nick looks at them dumbfounded]
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[At Fru Fru's wedding, Mr. Big talks to Judy about what happened to Emmitt Otterton.]
Mr. Big: Otterton is my florist. He's like a part of the family. He had something important he wanted to discuss. That's why I sent that car to pick him up. But he never arrived.
Judy: Because he was attacked?
Mr. Big: No. He attacked.
Judy: Otterton?
Mr. Big: Otterton... He went crazy - ripped up the car, scared my driver half to death, [his eyes are visible for a moment and widen as he says this last part] and disappeared into the night. [holds his paw out for emphasis]
Judy: But he's a sweet little otter.
Mr. Big: Hmm. My child, we may be evolved, but deep down, we are still animals.
Mr. Big: Otterton is my florist. He's like a part of the family. He had something important he wanted to discuss. That's why I sent that car to pick him up. But he never arrived.
Judy: Because he was attacked?
Mr. Big: No. He attacked.
Judy: Otterton?
Mr. Big: Otterton... He went crazy - ripped up the car, scared my driver half to death, [his eyes are visible for a moment and widen as he says this last part] and disappeared into the night. [holds his paw out for emphasis]
Judy: But he's a sweet little otter.
Mr. Big: Hmm. My child, we may be evolved, but deep down, we are still animals.
View Quote
[Duke Weaselton is selling bootleg movies to citizens.]
Weaselton: [to a pedestrian] Well, hello. Step right up. Anything you need, I got it. All your favorite movies! I got movies that haven't even been released yet! [the pedestrian rightfully refuses] Hey, 15% off! 20! Make me an offer! Come on!
Nick: [shows up with Judy] Well, well, look who it is. The Duke of Bootleg.
Weaselton: What's it to you, Wilde? Shouldn't you be melting down a pawpsicle or somethin'? [notices and recognizes Judy; smugly] Hey, if it isn't Flopsy the Copsy.
Judy: We both know those weren't moldy onions I caught you stealing. [sternly] What were you gonna do with those Night Howlers, Wesselton?
Weaselton: It's Weaselton. Duke Weaselton. And I ain't talkin', rabbit. And there's nothin' you can do to make me.
[Judy and Nick exchange glances, as if to say, "Desperate times call for desperate measures.", and the scene changes to Mr. Big's office.]
Mr. Big: Ice him.
[One polar bear dangles Duke over the ice pit.]
Weaselton: [screams; to Nick] You dirty rat! Why are you helpin' her? She's a cop!
Mr. Big: And the godmother to my future granddaughter.
Fru-Fru: [pregnant] I'm gonna name her Judy.
Judy: [sweetly] Ohh!
Mr. Big: [chuckles; becomes serious again] Ice this weasel.
Weaselton: [yelps] Alright, alright, please! I'll talk! I'll talk! I stole them Night Howlers so I could sell 'em. They offered me what I couldn't refuse: Money.
Judy: And to whom did you sell them?
Weaselton: A ram named Doug. We got a drop spot underground. Just watch it. Doug is the opposite of friendly. He's unfriendly.
Weaselton: [to a pedestrian] Well, hello. Step right up. Anything you need, I got it. All your favorite movies! I got movies that haven't even been released yet! [the pedestrian rightfully refuses] Hey, 15% off! 20! Make me an offer! Come on!
Nick: [shows up with Judy] Well, well, look who it is. The Duke of Bootleg.
Weaselton: What's it to you, Wilde? Shouldn't you be melting down a pawpsicle or somethin'? [notices and recognizes Judy; smugly] Hey, if it isn't Flopsy the Copsy.
Judy: We both know those weren't moldy onions I caught you stealing. [sternly] What were you gonna do with those Night Howlers, Wesselton?
Weaselton: It's Weaselton. Duke Weaselton. And I ain't talkin', rabbit. And there's nothin' you can do to make me.
[Judy and Nick exchange glances, as if to say, "Desperate times call for desperate measures.", and the scene changes to Mr. Big's office.]
Mr. Big: Ice him.
[One polar bear dangles Duke over the ice pit.]
Weaselton: [screams; to Nick] You dirty rat! Why are you helpin' her? She's a cop!
Mr. Big: And the godmother to my future granddaughter.
Fru-Fru: [pregnant] I'm gonna name her Judy.
Judy: [sweetly] Ohh!
Mr. Big: [chuckles; becomes serious again] Ice this weasel.
Weaselton: [yelps] Alright, alright, please! I'll talk! I'll talk! I stole them Night Howlers so I could sell 'em. They offered me what I couldn't refuse: Money.
Judy: And to whom did you sell them?
Weaselton: A ram named Doug. We got a drop spot underground. Just watch it. Doug is the opposite of friendly. He's unfriendly.
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