Jack Lemmon movie quotes
47 quotes from 4 movies
Glengarry Glen Ross (1992) as Shelley Levene
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A man IS his job and you are **** at yours.
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You are a shithead, Williamson...If you can't think on your feet, you oughta keep your mouth shut.
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What the hell are you? You're a ****in' secretary. **** you. That's my message to ya: **** you and kiss my ass and if you don't like it, baby, I'm going across the street to Jerry Graff, period, **** you.
Missing (1982) as Ed Horman
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Silvio: Believe us, sir. Your son is not what they told you.
Ed Horman: How do you know that, Silvio?
Silvio: He's a nice guy. He's sincere. A hard worker. But he's a political neophyte. He's terrified of violence.
Ed Horman: How do you know that, Silvio?
Silvio: He's a nice guy. He's sincere. A hard worker. But he's a political neophyte. He's terrified of violence.
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Kate Newman: What we need to know is, can they order an American to "disappear" without consulting the Americans first?
Paris: No, they wouldn't dare.
Ed Horman: How can I verify that?
Paris: You can't.
Paris: No, they wouldn't dare.
Ed Horman: How can I verify that?
Paris: You can't.
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Ed Horman: Now, erm, I owe you an apology.
Beth Horman: No, you don't.
Ed Horman: No, no, no. Well, for a long time now I've sold you short. Both of you. I don't really know why. Unless it's because I'm getting old. And I'm very stubborn.
Beth Horman: No, you don't.
Ed Horman: No, no, no. Well, for a long time now I've sold you short. Both of you. I don't really know why. Unless it's because I'm getting old. And I'm very stubborn.
Grumpy Old Men (1993) as John
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John and Max asking Chuck about his visit to Ariel.
Max: Your old pal failed you, huh Chuck?
John: Ohhhh, couldn't rise to the occasion?
Max: Yes, the spirit was willing...
John: Yeah, but the flesh was, uh....
Max: Weak! Weak!
Max: Your old pal failed you, huh Chuck?
John: Ohhhh, couldn't rise to the occasion?
Max: Yes, the spirit was willing...
John: Yeah, but the flesh was, uh....
Max: Weak! Weak!
Some Like It Hot (1959) as Jerry
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Jerry: Now you've done it! Now you have done it!
Joe: Done what?
Jerry: You tore off one of my chests!
Joe: Done what?
Jerry: You tore off one of my chests!
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Jerry: Have I got things to tell you!
Joe: What happened?
Jerry: I'm engaged.
Joe: Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl?
Jerry: I am!
Joe: WHAT?!
Jerry: Osgood proposed to me! We're planning a June wedding.
Joe: What are you talking about? You can't marry Osgood.
Jerry: Why, you think he's too old for me?
Joe: Jerry, you can't be serious.
Jerry: Why not? He keeps marrying girls all the time.
Joe: But, you're not a girl! You're a guy, and, why would a guy wanna marry a guy?
Jerry: For security! Look, I know there's a problem, Joe.
Joe: I'll say there is.
Jerry: His mother - we need her approval, but I'm not worried because I don't smoke.
Joe: Jerry. There's another problem, like what are you gonna do on your honeymoon?
Jerry: We've been discussing that. He wants to go to the Riviera but I'm kinda leaning toward Niagra Falls.
Joe: My God.
Jerry: I don't expect it to last Joe. I'll tell him when the time's right.
Joe: Like when?
Jerry: Like right after the ceremony. Then we get a quick annulment, he makes a nice little settlement on me and I keep getting those alimony checks every month.
Joe: Jerry listen to me there are laws, conventions. It's just not been done.
Jerry: Joe this may be my last chance to marry a millionaire.
Joe: Oh, Jerry — Jerry, will you take my advice? Forget about the whole thing, will ya? Just keep telling yourself: you're a boy, you're a boy.
Jerry: I'm a boy.
Joe: That's the boy.
Jerry: I'm a boy. I'm a boy. I wish I were dead. I'm a boy. Boy, oh boy, am I a boy. Now, what am I gonna do about my engagement present?
Joe: What engagement present?
Jerry: Osgood gave me a bracelet.
Joe: [examining it] Hey, these are real diamonds!
Jerry: Of course they're real! What do you think? My fiance is a bum?
Joe: What happened?
Jerry: I'm engaged.
Joe: Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl?
Jerry: I am!
Joe: WHAT?!
Jerry: Osgood proposed to me! We're planning a June wedding.
Joe: What are you talking about? You can't marry Osgood.
Jerry: Why, you think he's too old for me?
Joe: Jerry, you can't be serious.
Jerry: Why not? He keeps marrying girls all the time.
Joe: But, you're not a girl! You're a guy, and, why would a guy wanna marry a guy?
Jerry: For security! Look, I know there's a problem, Joe.
Joe: I'll say there is.
Jerry: His mother - we need her approval, but I'm not worried because I don't smoke.
Joe: Jerry. There's another problem, like what are you gonna do on your honeymoon?
Jerry: We've been discussing that. He wants to go to the Riviera but I'm kinda leaning toward Niagra Falls.
Joe: My God.
Jerry: I don't expect it to last Joe. I'll tell him when the time's right.
Joe: Like when?
Jerry: Like right after the ceremony. Then we get a quick annulment, he makes a nice little settlement on me and I keep getting those alimony checks every month.
Joe: Jerry listen to me there are laws, conventions. It's just not been done.
Jerry: Joe this may be my last chance to marry a millionaire.
Joe: Oh, Jerry — Jerry, will you take my advice? Forget about the whole thing, will ya? Just keep telling yourself: you're a boy, you're a boy.
Jerry: I'm a boy.
Joe: That's the boy.
Jerry: I'm a boy. I'm a boy. I wish I were dead. I'm a boy. Boy, oh boy, am I a boy. Now, what am I gonna do about my engagement present?
Joe: What engagement present?
Jerry: Osgood gave me a bracelet.
Joe: [examining it] Hey, these are real diamonds!
Jerry: Of course they're real! What do you think? My fiance is a bum?
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Jerry: Dirty old man...I just got pinched in the elevator.
Joe: Now you know how the other half lives.
Jerry: Look at that. I'm not even pretty.
Joe: They don't care. Just so long as you're wearing a skirt. It's like waving a red flag in front of a bull.
Jerry: Really. Well I'm sick of being the flag. I want to be a bull again.
Joe: So you got pinched in the elevator. So what! Would you rather be picking lead out of your navel?...What's the beef? We're sitting pretty. Look, we've got room and board, we're getting paid every week...
Jerry: I know why you want to stay here. You're after Sugar.
Joe: Me after Sugar?
Jerry: I saw you, the both of you on that bus, all lovey-dovey and whispering and giggling and borrowing each other's lipstick. I saw ya.
Joe: What are you talking about?...We're just like sisters.
Jerry: Well I'm your fairy godmother. And I'm gonna keep an eye on you.
Joe: Now you know how the other half lives.
Jerry: Look at that. I'm not even pretty.
Joe: They don't care. Just so long as you're wearing a skirt. It's like waving a red flag in front of a bull.
Jerry: Really. Well I'm sick of being the flag. I want to be a bull again.
Joe: So you got pinched in the elevator. So what! Would you rather be picking lead out of your navel?...What's the beef? We're sitting pretty. Look, we've got room and board, we're getting paid every week...
Jerry: I know why you want to stay here. You're after Sugar.
Joe: Me after Sugar?
Jerry: I saw you, the both of you on that bus, all lovey-dovey and whispering and giggling and borrowing each other's lipstick. I saw ya.
Joe: What are you talking about?...We're just like sisters.
Jerry: Well I'm your fairy godmother. And I'm gonna keep an eye on you.
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