Grumpy Old Men (1993) · 28 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Grumpy Old Men (1993): in 12 of its 28 quotes
Most scenes with: John (7), Grandpa (4), Snyder (2)
Where's the Green Hornet?
John and Max cleaning the snow off their cars
Max You know what Jacob said. Jacob said that old Billy Henchel was killed in a car crash. Head on collision with a freight truck. Cleared his car straight over the bridge into the Mississippi.
Lucky bastard.
Max You bet.
Hey, how is he anyway?
Max Hes Dead! Died on impact!
Jacob, moron. Jacob!
Max Morning, dickhead.
Hello, moron.
Max Hey dickhead, win the lottery?
Enjoy your shower, smartass?
John and Max asking Chuck about his visit to Ariel.
Max Your old pal failed you, huh Chuck?
Ohhhh, couldn't rise to the occasion?
Max Yes, the spirit was willing...
Yeah, but the flesh was, uh....
Max Weak! Weak!
Max Hypothermia's a bitch. It ain't quick like a stroke.
A stroke's no damn good; you could end up a vegetable! Give me a cardiac any day.
Max You know what Jacob said. Jacob said that old Billy Henchel was killed in a car crash. Head on collision with a freight truck. Cleared his car straight over the bridge into the Mississippi.
Lucky bastard.
Max You bet.
Hey, how is he anyway?
Max He's dead! Died on impact!
Jacob, moron. Jacob!
Max Oh he's fine. Real busy, but he promised to come home for Thanksgiving.
Is he running for mayor?
Max Make a damn fine mayor too.
It's a good thing he's his mother's son. If he looked anything like you, he'd never get on the ballot.
Max Eat my shorts!
Max Dirty rat, I'll show him, picking on people.
Beautiful day, Mr. Goldman.
Max Hey, Snyder! Why don't you do the world a favor and pull your lip over your head and swallow?" (Laughs)
Max You mean the low-life, ass-wipe, egg-sucker John Gustafson?
Have you seen him?
Max The man's crazy. Loco. Always hanging out around those kinky strip bars. You know, the ones where the men take their clothes off. That's of course if he's taken his medication.
Medication?
Max Yes, without it he could be anywhere. Wandering around talking to the trees. I'm telling you the man's a menace, he's always drinking, starting fights.
Max Tell me something, Chuck. Do I stink?
Max Not you, smart ass! Didn't ask you. I could smell it from the car, this stink. Is it me?
Yup!
Max Damn!
Oh cold enough for you. BRRRRRRRRRR!
Max Oh shut up, fat ass!
Max Gustafson!
Max You schmuck!
Let me remind you Einstein that May was no prize.
Max She was to me!
I was married to the woman, 20 years. She was no prize!
Max She was to me!
Yeah, well that's why you're a moron! If you ended up with May, you would never had Amy and Amy was a good woman.
Max She was the best.
She was damn sight more loyal than May ever was.
