Harry Shearer movie quotes

View Quote Dog Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it; I've seen road kill with faster reflexes.

View Quote Dog Announcer: This excitement isn't just about the fun of baseball. It's not about the prize. It's about the gloating and rubbing their noses in it. The "Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah, we beat you" taunting if you will, that comes with the winning.

View Quote Dog Announcer: Hold your horses, here! And horses, hold your breath.

View Quote Ned: Boys, before we eat, don't forget to thank the Lord for this bountiful--[a naked Bart crashes into the window] PENIS?!?
Rodd and Todd Flanders: Bountiful penis.
Todd Flanders: Amen.

View Quote Ned: Now remember, when you meet Jesus, be sure to call him Mr. Christ.
Todd Flanders: Will Buddha be there too?
Ned: No!

View Quote [Homer re-shingles the roof. Bart is up with him.]
Homer: [trying to hammer a nail] Steady... Steady... [Homer pulls the hammer back and stabs himself in the eye] Oww!!!
[Bart laughs at him]
Homer: [pulls hammer from his eye but keeping his hurt eye closed] Why, you little--!! [strangles Bart] I'll teach you to laugh... at something... that's funny!!!
Bart: [struggles free] You know, we are on the roof. We could have some fun.
Homer: [bitter] What kind of fun?
Bart: ... How about a dare contest?
Homer: [lightens up and opens his injured eye] That sounds fun. I dare you to... climb the TV antenna!
Bart: [does so] Piece of cake.
Homer: [shakes the antennae] Earthquake!
[They both laugh. Bart is thrown off the antenna and bounces down the roof, grabbing the gutter before he can fall off.]
Homer: [shakes the gutter] Aftershock!
[They continue to laugh, until Ned Flanders notices them from his garden.]
Ned: Homer, I don't mean to be a nervous Pervis or anything, but if he falls, couldn't that make your boy a parapleg-erino?
Homer: Shut up, Flanders!
Bart: Yeah, shut up, Flanders!
Homer: Well said, boy!
[They high-five, and then Homer gets out his hammer again, readying another nail for the gutter.]
Homer: Steady... Steady... Steady... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
[Homer has fallen through the roof. Bart laughs at him again.]

View Quote [During the credits, we see that someone has stolen everything in Burns' mansion.]
Smithers: They've taken everything, sir.
Mr. Burns: Smithers, I don't believe in suicide, but... if you'd like to try it, it might cheer me up to watch.

View Quote Mr. Burns: So... you want some of my electricity, do you? Well, for once the rich white man is in control! I have two buttons behind this desk: one will supply your town with power, the other releases the hounds. Reach me. Make me your brother.

View Quote Announcer: In 2007, leaping his way onto the silver screen. The greatest hero in American history.
[Zoom out to reveal Homer Simpson sitting on the couch]
Homer: I forgot what I'm supposed to say.
[Cut to an early version of "The Simpsons Movie" logo on a purple background]
Announcer: The Simpsons Movie, opening worldwide, July 27, 2007.
Homer: [off-screen] Uh-oh, we better get started.
Mr. Burns: [off-screen] Excellent!
[The title says July 27, 2007]

View Quote (Concerning the cover of "Smell the Glove"): It's like a black mirror... you can see yourself... in both sides.

View Quote We're very lucky in the band in that we have two visionaries - David and Nigel. They're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries; it's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water.

View Quote We do not strive for perfection, because "perfection is the destination, imperfection is the journey".

View Quote Amber Cole: [referring to her working relationship with Wally Fenton] We work together very well. It's almost as like we have one brain that we share between us.
Mark Shubb: To do then now would be retro. To do then then was very now-tro, if you will.

View Quote Jerry Palter: Things have been going really well. We got some gigs here, working at the casinos. It has been a time of changes, but change is good. Change is life.
[camera pulls out to reveal Mark Shubb dressed as a woman]
Mark Shubb: It was like a great big door opening for me... Town Hall... after that concert, I realized I wanted to spend as much of the rest of my life as possible playing folk music with these gentlemen...
Jerry Palter: Right back atcha.
Mark Shubb: ...and I wanted to spend all of it as a woman. I came to a realization that I was - and am - a blonde, female folk singer trapped in the body of a bald, male folk singer and I had to LET ME OUT or I WOULD DIE.
Jerry Palter: When you put it that way, it's almost poetry.
Alan Barrows: Almost.

View Quote [Members of "The Folksmen" are talking about their first record]
Alan Barrows: And they had no hole in the center of the record.
Mark Shubb: It would teeter crazily on the little spindle.
Jerry Palter: No, you had to provide it yourself. They were still good records. Good product.
Mark Shubb: If you punched a hole in them, you'd have a good time.