George Carlin movie quotes

View Quote There's a lot of love out there, you know man?

View Quote What you really need is a sweet taste of my homemade organic fuel.

View Quote How 'bout some organic fuel?

View Quote I finally figured out who you are. A Tarzan!

View Quote [repeated line] ZUGOR!

View Quote Zugor Rule Number One: Don't need anyone but yourself.

View Quote [putting on his sunglasses] Gentlemen... we're history.

View Quote [Last line] They do get better.

View Quote Rufus: Greetings, my excellent friends.
Ted: Do you know when the Mongols ruled China?
Rufus: Well, perhaps we could ask them.

View Quote Cardinal Glick: Christ didn't come to earth to give us the willies! He came to help us out. He was a booster.

View Quote Cardinal Glick: People find the Bible obtuse... even hokey.

View Quote Cardinal Glick: Now, let me tell you a little bit of history about this particular hundred-years-young house of God.
Bartleby (emerging from crowd): God's house? God doesn't live here anymore! He's grown weary of your superficial faith. He's turned a deaf ear to your lip-service prayers. He has abandoned you, His favorites, to the whim of judgment. Hypocrites, charlatans, prepare to taste God's wrath!
Loki: Maybe we should just leave.
Bartleby: You wanted your body count, you got it. This crowd is rife with sin. We'll judge them all.
Cardinal Glick: Officer McGhee?
Officer McGhee: All right, mouthpiece, let's leave the nice Cardinal alone and go for a ride.
Bartleby: Mister McGhee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
Officer McGhee: Is that so?
(Bartleby snaps McGhee's neck with one hand; the crowd screams and starts to scatter.)
Bartleby: Ladies and gentlemen, you have been judged guilty of violations against our Almighty God. And this very day, I assure you, you will pay for your trespasses, in blood! (to Loki) Wings. Now.
Loki: I'm feeling a little exposed, here.
Bartleby: Do it!

View Quote She scared the horses, killed the puppies, hid the remote. Really sick shit. My wife killed her by drowning her in a nearby well. I thought a time-out would have been fine.

View Quote My wife and I wanted a child, but she couldn't get pregnant. Neither could I.

View Quote I can't help it. It's very lonely in here. Ergo, I haven't been with anyone in a very long time, not counting myself. Or this chair. I call her... Linda.

View Quote [to the future student] And most importantly; do not do your homework without your headphones on. Repeat- [gets interrupted by the arrival of De Nomolos]