Sheriff Lund: You ever use your sidearm?
Deputy Olson: Oh. In training. But these are just punk kids, right? What, vandalizing and loitering? I doubt we’ll need to drop ’em.
Sheriff Lund: It’s not the kids. It’s Willy.
Deputy Olson: The dancing rat? [laughs] Okay. I get it. I get it. The boys told you to pull a fast one on me. Bravo. Nice try.
Sheriff Lund: It ain’t no prank. This is real as it gets. I guaran-damn-tee you that. See, in town, we knew what was happening at Willy’s. We knew there was something supernatural going on. We bellowed to the high heavens that the machines were evil. No one believed us. They thought we were yokels. Tex eventually hired a demolition crew to destroy Willy’s, except the day before bulldozers were set to roll, Eric Miller, the contractor, was found in bed as chewed up as a McDonald’s hamburger. His whole family too. After that, there wasn’t a man alive that would take the job. The town decided that maybe it was better to let sleeping dogs lie. We told everybody just to stay away from there. We figured we’d just let it rot. But rabid dogs don’t sleep when they’re hungry. The machines got out. We found bodies at the ice cream shop, the hardware store, and even the school. We had a real Hobson’s choice on our hands. You know what that is?
Deputy Olson: No.
Sheriff Lund: No choice at all. We could either go to war with the machines, come off like crazy people, probably lose a lot of good folk along the way, or…
Deputy Olson: Or what?
Sheriff Lund: We cut a deal. [flashback, to the animatronics] Leave our people be. Leave our children be. Leave our town be, and… and we will feed you.
[flashback, Jed picks up the Hawthornes]
Jed: Well, the good news is, I can fix it. The bad news is, it’s gonna have to sit 'til I get the part. Now, Hayesville’s one hotel’s booked. But I do have a place you can stay tonight. Now, it ain’t the Ritz, but it’s a roof and it’s free if you’re willing to do a little light cleaning.
Tex: [to the Hawthornes] Best place for a birthday party you’ve ever seen. [to bikers] Heck, it once was, but we’re gonna fix it. [to a Hippie couple] Bring her back to life. Congratulations. You... are... officially... on staff.
Sheriff Lund: We lived up to our end of the bargain and they kept theirs. We tried to find people who wouldn’t be missed. [flashback, Knighty Knight decapitates the homeless man] People with low moral character. [flashback, Cammy Chameleon wraps her tongue around the Hippie couple] And some people who were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. [flashback, the Hawthornes scream] Things didn’t always go exactly as planned. I usually pride myself on being able to expect the unexpected. [In the flashback, Sheriff Lund and Tex find little Liv in the janitor's closet, crying] But sometimes, life throws you a zinger. Well, this was the zinger of all zingers. [flashback, to little Liv] Good night, darling. Sweet dreams. [present] I never saw it coming.
Deputy Olson: So, that’s why we’re going?
Sheriff Lund: Liv. Much as she pisses me off, I couldn’t live with losing that girl.
Deputy Olson: Oh. In training. But these are just punk kids, right? What, vandalizing and loitering? I doubt we’ll need to drop ’em.
Sheriff Lund: It’s not the kids. It’s Willy.
Deputy Olson: The dancing rat? [laughs] Okay. I get it. I get it. The boys told you to pull a fast one on me. Bravo. Nice try.
Sheriff Lund: It ain’t no prank. This is real as it gets. I guaran-damn-tee you that. See, in town, we knew what was happening at Willy’s. We knew there was something supernatural going on. We bellowed to the high heavens that the machines were evil. No one believed us. They thought we were yokels. Tex eventually hired a demolition crew to destroy Willy’s, except the day before bulldozers were set to roll, Eric Miller, the contractor, was found in bed as chewed up as a McDonald’s hamburger. His whole family too. After that, there wasn’t a man alive that would take the job. The town decided that maybe it was better to let sleeping dogs lie. We told everybody just to stay away from there. We figured we’d just let it rot. But rabid dogs don’t sleep when they’re hungry. The machines got out. We found bodies at the ice cream shop, the hardware store, and even the school. We had a real Hobson’s choice on our hands. You know what that is?
Deputy Olson: No.
Sheriff Lund: No choice at all. We could either go to war with the machines, come off like crazy people, probably lose a lot of good folk along the way, or…
Deputy Olson: Or what?
Sheriff Lund: We cut a deal. [flashback, to the animatronics] Leave our people be. Leave our children be. Leave our town be, and… and we will feed you.
[flashback, Jed picks up the Hawthornes]
Jed: Well, the good news is, I can fix it. The bad news is, it’s gonna have to sit 'til I get the part. Now, Hayesville’s one hotel’s booked. But I do have a place you can stay tonight. Now, it ain’t the Ritz, but it’s a roof and it’s free if you’re willing to do a little light cleaning.
Tex: [to the Hawthornes] Best place for a birthday party you’ve ever seen. [to bikers] Heck, it once was, but we’re gonna fix it. [to a Hippie couple] Bring her back to life. Congratulations. You... are... officially... on staff.
Sheriff Lund: We lived up to our end of the bargain and they kept theirs. We tried to find people who wouldn’t be missed. [flashback, Knighty Knight decapitates the homeless man] People with low moral character. [flashback, Cammy Chameleon wraps her tongue around the Hippie couple] And some people who were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. [flashback, the Hawthornes scream] Things didn’t always go exactly as planned. I usually pride myself on being able to expect the unexpected. [In the flashback, Sheriff Lund and Tex find little Liv in the janitor's closet, crying] But sometimes, life throws you a zinger. Well, this was the zinger of all zingers. [flashback, to little Liv] Good night, darling. Sweet dreams. [present] I never saw it coming.
Deputy Olson: So, that’s why we’re going?
Sheriff Lund: Liv. Much as she pisses me off, I couldn’t live with losing that girl.
Sheriff Lund : You ever use your sidearm?
Deputy Olson : Oh. In training. But these are just punk kids, right? What, vandalizing and loitering? I doubt we’ll need to drop ’em.
Sheriff Lund : It’s not the kids. It’s Willy.
Deputy Olson : The dancing rat? [laughs] Okay. I get it. I get it. The boys told you to pull a fast one on me. Bravo. Nice try.
Sheriff Lund : It ain’t no prank. This is real as it gets. I guaran-damn-tee you that. See, in town, we knew what was happening at Willy’s. We knew there was something supernatural going on. We bellowed to the high heavens that the machines were evil. No one believed us. They thought we were yokels. Tex eventually hired a demolition crew to destroy Willy’s, except the day before bulldozers were set to roll, Eric Miller, the contractor, was found in bed as chewed up as a McDonald’s hamburger. His whole family too. After that, there wasn’t a man alive that would take the job. The town decided that maybe it was better to let sleeping dogs lie. We told everybody just to stay away from there. We figured we’d just let it rot. But rabid dogs don’t sleep when they’re hungry. The machines got out. We found bodies at the ice cream shop, the hardware store, and even the school. We had a real Hobson’s choice on our hands. You know what that is?
Deputy Olson : No.
Sheriff Lund : No choice at all. We could either go to war with the machines, come off like crazy people, probably lose a lot of good folk along the way, or…
Deputy Olson : Or what?
Sheriff Lund : We cut a deal. [flashback, to the animatronics] Leave our people be. Leave our children be. Leave our town be, and… and we will feed you.
[flashback, Jed picks up the Hawthornes]
Jed : Well, the good news is, I can fix it. The bad news is, it’s gonna have to sit 'til I get the part. Now, Hayesville’s one hotel’s booked. But I do have a place you can stay tonight. Now, it ain’t the Ritz, but it’s a roof and it’s free if you’re willing to do a little light cleaning.
Tex : [to the Hawthornes] Best place for a birthday party you’ve ever seen. [to bikers] Heck, it once was, but we’re gonna fix it. [to a Hippie couple] Bring her back to life. Congratulations. You... are... officially... on staff.
Sheriff Lund : We lived up to our end of the bargain and they kept theirs. We tried to find people who wouldn’t be missed. [flashback, Knighty Knight decapitates the homeless man] People with low moral character. [flashback, Cammy Chameleon wraps her tongue around the Hippie couple] And some people who were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. [flashback, the Hawthornes scream] Things didn’t always go exactly as planned. I usually pride myself on being able to expect the unexpected. [In the flashback, Sheriff Lund and Tex find little Liv in the janitor's closet, crying] But sometimes, life throws you a zinger. Well, this was the zinger of all zingers. [flashback, to little Liv] Good night, darling. Sweet dreams. [present] I never saw it coming.
Deputy Olson : So, that’s why we’re going?
Sheriff Lund : Liv. Much as she pisses me off, I couldn’t live with losing that girl.
http://www.moviequotedb.com/movies/willys-wonderland/quote_139062.html