Varsity Blues quotes

29 total quotes

Billy Bob
Charlie Tweeder
Coach Bud Kilmer
Jonathon "Mox' Moxon
Multiple Characters

View Quote Police Officer: These kids, they're just running around wild these days. Them kids last night, they stole a cop car.
Bar Man: No.
Police Officer: Yes! Them boys been exposing themselves.
Bar Man: Exposing themselves?
Police Officer: Yes. They put them wieners on the glass at the Alano Club, while the ladies were rehearsing the Christmas pageant.
Bar Man: They put them wieners on the glass at the Alano Club?

View Quote Mox: The male erection? Uh, pitchin' a tent, sportin' wood, icicle has formed, the march is on; stiff, stiffie, Mr. Mortis, Rigger Mortis has set in; uh, flesh rocket, Jack's magic beanstalk, tall Tommy, mushroom on a stick, Mr. Mushroom Head, purple-headed yogurt-slinger...and, uh, Pedro.
Miss Davis: Pedro?
Mox: Mmhmm.

View Quote Charlie: Will you listen to me? Bitches are all just panty droppers. You understand? That's it.
Mox: What?
Charlie: Listen. You give 'em Percocet, two Vicoden and a couple of beers, and the panties drop. It's very nice.
Mox: [laughing] It's nice?
Charlie: It's nice.
Mox: Tweeder, you think you'll enjoy prison?
Charlie: [not paying attention] I don't know...What?

View Quote [Mooning Mox and Billy Bob through the truck window] Good moonin, Boys! Good moonin! I have been up since the crack of dawn and I had to ass you a question.

View Quote Charlie: Hey you wanna see the new Tweeder end zone dance?
[Tweeder dances]
Charlie: You know what it's called?
Mox: What?
Charlie: The new Tweeder end zone dance.

View Quote Miss Davis: Now I want y'all to repeat after me: penis, penis, penis; vagina, vagina, vagina!

View Quote A 10... a 10... a ****ing 10!

View Quote Mox: I'm a good boy. I've always been good. What's my upside to being good? [looks at a box of condoms] I'm 18 years old. It's not like I'm married to her. She invited me over. I'm just being polite, right Kyle? Kyle?
Kyle: I only answer to one name. Ali-Actabaor-Shabaz-Da.
Mox: That's a bunch of names.
Kyle: There is only one God. All praise and honor be to Allah.
Mox: Yeah. Well, would Allah nail Darcy if he had the chance? I think so.

View Quote Miss Davis: Can anyone tell me a common slang term for the male erection?
Student: Boner? Is boner one?
Miss Davis: Yes! Boner is good, boner is very good!

View Quote The hard work of so many, sacrificed by the disrespect of few.

View Quote It makes me wonder if you know the different between a sneeze and a wet fart!

View Quote Billy Bob: I sure do love that dog.
Mox: I think it's a pig.
Billy Bob: Yeah.

View Quote Sam Moxon: I'm really proud about Brown son, but I need to talk to you about Gilroy.

View Quote [singing] She broke my heart, so I broke her jaw.

View Quote Sam Moxon: I raised you to be a winner, so dammit boy, win!