Evil
Now Benson, I'm going to have to turn you into a dog for a while.
Played by David Warner 
Time Bandits (1981) · 24 quotes
Time Bandits (1981) · 24 quotes
I have the map! I have the map! And the day after tomorrow... The world!
More lines from Evil
3 quotes Evil
Evil
Stand by for mind control!
Evil
You are a very troublesome little fellow. I think I should teach you one of my special lessons? What do you think, Robert? Benson? What would look nice? Half-warthog? Half-donkey? Half-oyster? Half-carrot?
Scenes with Evil
5 scenes Evil
What sort of Supreme Being created such riffraff? Is this not the workings of a complete incompetent?
Baxi Brazilia III
But He created you, Evil One!
Evil
What did you say?
Baxi
Well He created you, so He can't be totally— [Evil blows him to bits]
Evil
Never talk to me like that again! No one created me! I am Evil. Evil existed long before good. I made myself. I cannot be unmade. I am all powerful! [Minions applaud]
Cartwright
But why, if that's the case, are you unable to escape from this fortress? [Evil obliterates him]
Evil
It's a good question. Why have I let the Supreme Being keep me here in the Fortress of Ultimate Darkness?
Robert
Because you—
Evil
Shut up. I'm speaking rhetorically.
Robert
Oh, of course.
Evil
I let Him keep me here in order to lull Him into a false sense of security.
Evil
When I have the map, I will be free, and the world will be different, because I have understanding.
Minion
Uh, understanding of what, Master?
Evil
Digital watches. And soon I shall have understanding of video cassette recorders and car telephones. And when I have understanding of them, I shall have understanding of computers. And when I have understanding of computers, I shall be the Supreme Being! God isn't interested in technology. He knows nothing of the potential of the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how He spends His time! Forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men!
Robert
Slugs.
Evil
Slugs! He created slugs. They can't hear! They can't speak! They can't operate machinery! I mean, are we not in the hands of a lunatic?... If I were creating a world, I wouldn't mess about with butterflies and daffodils. I would have started with lasers, eight o'clock, day one! [accidentally zaps a minion, who screams] Sorry.
Evil
Oh, Benson! I feel the power of evil coursing through my veins, filling every corner of my being with the desire to do wrong! I feel so bad, Benson!
Benson
Good! Good!
Evil
Yes, it is good, for this is the worst kind of badness that I'm feeling!
Evil
Oh, Benson... Dear Benson, you are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence.
Benson
Oh, you say such nice things, Master.
Evil
Yes I know, I'm sorry!
Evil
Suddenly, I feel very, very good.
Robert
Oh, I'm sorry, Master.
Evil
No, it'll pass, it'll pass.
Benson
Shall I bring them in, Master?
Evil
Yes, Benson. Bring them into the Time of Legends!
