Michelangelo / Mikey quotes from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Okay. [removes pizza from a pouch on the back of the scooter and whistles] Now, 122. [looks closer at the address of the order] 122 1/8? [looks around for the address] 122...1/8. [annoyed because he can't find it] Terrific. Where the heck is 122 1/8?

You're standin' on it, dude. [pokes a ten dollar bill up through the grate] Just slip it down here.

Gimme that! [starts back to his scooter before noticing the amount of money he was given and turning back toward the grate] Hey, this is a $10. The tab's $13!

You're two minutes late, dude!

Aw, come on, I couldn't find the place!

Wise man say "Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza."

I gotta get a new route. And I thought I delivered everywhere.

Go! Move it, will ya? Aw, you're letting him blow right by ya! Can you believe this guy? Come on! Don't just...! Ninja-kick the damn rabbit! Do something!

God, I LOVE BEING A TURTLE!!!!

Oh, but no anchovies. And I mean, no anchovies. You put anchovies on this thing and you're in big trouble, okay?!

Nice night.

Mmm-hmm. Pizza dude's got thirty seconds.

Hey, Mikey...You ever think about what Splinter said? About, y'know...Us not havin' him?

...Well, time's up. Three bucks off.

Who the heck is that?

Wayne Gretzky? On steroids?

We were awesome!

Bodacious!

Bitchin'!

uuh...

Gnarly!

Radical!

Totally tubular!

Wicked!

Hellacious!

uuh... mega...

I have always liked... cowabunga.

I think there's some left over pizza from the other night.

Well?

Do you like penicillin on your pizza?

Doh!
[Donatello and him start humming "Taps"]

How ya doin'?

Fine.

Nice night.

Mmhmm. Pizza dude's got 30 seconds.

Mm-hmm. [nods, then wonders about what Splinter said earlier] Hey, Mikey, did you ever think about what Splinter said tonight? I mean, about.... what it would be like, you know, not having him?

Hmm. Time's up. $3 off. [Donnie shakes his head in frustration]

Yes, friends, the new Turbo Ginsu! Wa-hoo! [tosses the pizza while Leonardo slices it] It dices, it slices, and yet makes French fries in three different- [a pizza slice lands on Splinter's head] WHOOPS!

Mmm, kids.

Are you crazy?

Yeah, Leo, I'm crazy, okay?! A loony, okay?!

Why?

"Why?"! Why, oh, I don't know, because I wanted to redecorate! You know, a couple of throw pillows, a TV news reporter, what do you think?! [Leo grunts]

Raphael, what are you doing?!

She got jumped in the subway, I had to bring her here.

It's the news lady.

Can we keep her?

Bring water, cold washcloth, pillow.

For 15 years now, we have lived here. Before that time, I was a pet of my Master Yoshi, mimicking his movements from my cage and learning the secret art of Ninja. When we were forced to come to New York, I found myself, for the first time, without a home, wandering the sewers, scavenging for whatever I could find. And then, one day, I came upon a shattered glass jar and four baby turtles.

That was us.

Shut up.

Ohhh, no.

The little ones were crawling into a strange, glowing ooze from a broken canister nearby. I gathered them up in an old coffee can, and when I awoke the next morning, I received a shock, for they had doubled in size. I, too, was growing, particularly in intellect, and I was amazed at how intelligent they seemed, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened next - 1 of them spoke.

Pizza. Pizza!

More words followed, and I began their training, teaching them all that I had learned from my master.

Radical, radical, radical, radical....

And soon, I gave them all names - Leonardo, Michelangelo...

That’s me.

...Donatello and Raphael.

April

I'd like to invite you all in, but really I don't have anything to offer you guys, except for, uh, frozen pizza.

Let's go for it!

You said the magic word.

April

You guys eat pizza?

Doesn't everybody?

April

Will I ever see you guys again?

Indubitably!

Well, that depends on how fast you stock your pizza.

Ha-ha! No doubt about it. She loved us!

It was the impressions, dudes!

You wish.

Hold it!

Fight?

Fight.

Kitchen?

Kitchen.

Yeah.

Pork Rind?

Pork Rind.

Who the heck is that?

Wayne Gretzky? On steroids?

Oh, man, I could go for a little deep dish action right about now.

I had some pizza down here the other day. There might be some left over. [Donnie notices the pizza box]

Well?

Question.

Ugh. Yeah?

Do you like penicillin on your pizza? [shows Mikey that the pizza has developed mold on it]

D'oh! [he and Donnie start humming "Taps"]

Hey, Donnie, looks like this one is suffering from shell shock.

Too derivative.

Well, I guess we can really shell it out.

Too cliché.

Well, it was a shell of a good hit!

I like it! [to next opponent] Step up!

Does anybody have any idea about who or what this is?

I don't know, but I'll bet that it never has to look for a can opener. [Donnie giggles]

You fight well... in the old style. But you've caused me enough trouble. Now you face... the Shredder.

"The Shredder?"

Uhh, maybe all that hardware's for making coleslaw.

Where's Splinter?

Ah, the rat. So it has a name? [thinking that Splinter's dead; sadistically] It had a name.

YOU LIE!!!

Do I?

He dies. [Raph, Donnie, and Mikey gasp; gestures with his head] Weapons. [the remaining three turtles hesitate] Now! [Raph, Donnie, and Mikey reluctantly discard their weapons to save Leo.] Fools. [chortles] The three of you might have overpowered me with the loss of but one. Now your fate... WILL BE HIS!!! [holds up his yari and prepares to impale Leo]

NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!!!!!!!

Splinter!

Yes, Oroku Saki, I know who you are. We met many years ago... in the home of my master, Hamato Yoshi!

It's him.

You. [angrily] Now I will finish.... what I began with your ear! [attempts to joust Splinter, but his yari is caught in a nunchaku chain and he is hanging over the edge of a building]

Death comes for us all, Oroku Saki, but something much worse comes for you. For when you die, it will be... [Shredder reaches for the back of his belt, takes out a knife and throws it at Splinter, who dodges and grabs it and, at the same time, releases Shredder, who, while screaming, falls into the garbage truck] ...without honor.

Casey

Oops! [activates the trash compactor with Shredder inside]

We were awesome!

Bodacious! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Bitchin'!

Uh... mmm-mmm.

Gnarly!

Radical!

Yeah!

Totally tubular, dudes!

Wicked!

Hellacious!

Uh, mega--

Ahem.

Huh?

I have always liked... "Cowabunga."

Hmm? COWABUNGA!!

I made a funny! [laughs again]