ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #


View Quote 'Class is Pain 101... your instructor's Casey Jones.'
View Quote April: [after the Turtles have escorted her home] I'd like to invite you all in, but really I don't have anything to offer you guys, except for, uh, frozen pizza.
Mikey: [excitedly hops up out of the manhole] Let's go for it!
Donnie: [pops his head up out of the manhole mere moments after Mikey] You said the magic word.
April: [stunned] You guys eat pizza?
Mikey and Donnie: [simultaneously] Doesn't everybody?
View Quote April: [races down into the subway only to discover she just missed her train; scoffs in annoyance] Great, just great. [proceeds to wait for the next train, but senses she's not alone. She turns and gasps, seeing a small group of Foot Clan ninjas there]
Foot Clan Ninja #1: We've been waiting for you, Ms. O'Neil.
April: [trying to act brave] What? Am I behind on my Sony payments again? [laughs nervously]
Foot Clan Ninja #1: Your mouth may yet bring you much trouble, Ms. O'Neil. I deliver a message. [he extends his hand as if to give her something, only to slap her on the cheek] Shut it.
View Quote April: Hasn't Raph been gone a long time?
Donnie: Nah, he does it all the time. He likes it.
[scene cuts to Raph being assaulted by the Foot.]
April: Are you sure?
Donnie: Ah, don't worry. He'll probably be back any minute.
[An unconscious Raph is thrown through the skylight, landing at Donnie's feet]
April: [worriedly] Raph! Is he--?
Leonardo: [checking Raph's pulse] No, he's alive, barely.
April: [softly] Oh, God.
View Quote April: What did you do, did you take classes in insensitivity?!
Casey: Hey, I was just trying to break it to you easy.
April: Oh, well, you failed miserably!
Casey: Hey, Broadzilla, you wouldn't even be standing here if it weren't for me, OK?
April: And what do you want, do you want a 'thank you'?
Casey: No, it's me who should thank you for that privilege, right?
April: Fine!
Casey: Yeah.
April: Thank you.
Casey: No, thank you!
April: You're welcome!
Casey: You're welcome! [they each march to their separate rooms slamming the doors behind them]
Donatello: Gosh, it's kind of like Moonlighting, isn't it?
View Quote April: Will I ever see you guys again?
Mikey: Indubitably!
Leonardo: Well, that depends on how fast you stock your pizza.
View Quote Casey Jones: New game, round-head: [pulls out a cricket bat] Cricket.
Raphael: Cricket?! Nobody understands cricket! You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket!
Casey: I'll teach you! [swings and hits Raphael into a trash can] See? 6 Runs.
Raph: [struggles to get out]
Casey: [running] So long, freak! I've got work to do!
Raph: [finally free of the can and furious] FREAK?! FREAK?!?
[Casey leaps over wall and runs while Raph gives chase before he rolls over the hood of a taxi cab]
Passenger (Josh Pais): What the heck was that?!
Cab driver: Looked like sort of a big turtle in a trenchcoat. [passenger is silent] You're going to LaGuardia, right?
Raph: [still chasing Casey] Come back here! I'm not finished with you! [screams angrily] DA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-AMN!
View Quote Casey: [as he and Donnie work to fix up an old truck] Not even close, Zip Neck. Professor and Mary Ann. Happily ever after.
Donnie: Heh! No way, Atomic Mouth. Gilligan was her main man. They'd be married and have 6 kids by now.
Casey: Aw, man, Gilligan was a geek, Barfaroni!
Donnie: You're the geek, Camel Breath.
Casey: Dome Head.
Donnie: [gasps and self-consciously rubs his bald head] Elf Lips!
Casey: [finishes fixing the engine] Let's give this a try. See if this transplant worked, Funkoid!
Donnie: All right, here goes. [about the insult game] What are we on?
Casey: Uh, G.
Donnie: Here goes, Gack Face!
Casey: I'm ready, Hose Brain!
View Quote Charles Pennington: [while driving Danny to school] I don't get it, Danny. I make more than enough money to provide for both of us, and you're stealing. Why?!
Danny Pennington: [blandly] I don't know.
Charles Pennington: [incredulous] You don't know?! [scoffs] What the heck were you doing with a car stereo anyway? [sarcastically] Or, uh, don't you know that either?
Danny Pennington: [still blandly] Sorry.
Charles Pennington: [completely unimpressed] "Sorry"? Not as sorry as you're gonna be after school. [they stop at a red light and Danny runs out of the car and flees into the subway] Danny! Damn it! Danny, come back here!
View Quote Chief Sterns: We are presently executing a plan of redeployment that will minimize response time while maximizing coordination between patrol units in a decentralized networking scheme.
April: [not understanding what he meant] Huh. I'm not sure I understood all of that, Chief Sterns. Would you mind repeating it, in English, perhaps?
View Quote Donatello: [skateboards in the sewers, and then stops to sit down next to Michelangelo] How ya doin'?
Michelangelo: Fine.
Donnie: Nice night.
Mikey: Mmhmm. Pizza dude's got 30 seconds.
Donnie: Mm-hmm. [nods, then wonders about what Splinter said earlier] Hey, Mikey, did you ever think about what Splinter said tonight? I mean, about.... what it would be like, you know, not having him?
Mikey: [understandably uncomfortable with answering such a question, he brushes it off] Hmm. Time's up. $3 off. [Donnie shakes his head in frustration]
View Quote Donnie: [upon noticing how uncomfortable Casey seems in their underground lair] You're a claustrophobic! [chuckles]
Casey: [thinking Donnie is making a rude gay joke; warningly] Do you want a fist in the mouth?
Donnie: [shakes his head "no"] Mmm-mmm.
Casey: I've never even looked at another guy before.
View Quote Leo: [about Casey] Who the heck is that?
Mikey: Wayne Gretzky? On steroids?
View Quote Leo: [Shredder shows up] Does anybody have any idea about who or what this is?
Mikey: I don't know, but I'll bet that it never has to look for a can opener. [Donnie giggles]
Shredder: You fight well... in the old style. But you've caused me enough trouble. Now you face... the Shredder.
Donnie: "The Shredder?"
Mikey: [nervously; trying to hide his fear with jokes] Uhh, maybe all that hardware's for making coleslaw.
View Quote Leo: We were awesome!
Mikey: Bodacious! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Raph: Bitchin'!
Donnie: Uh... mmm-mmm.
Mikey: Gnarly!
Leo: Radical!
Mikey: Yeah!
Raph: Totally tubular, dudes!
Mikey: Wicked!
Raph: Hellacious!
Donnie: Uh, mega--
Splinter: Ahem.
The Turtles: Huh?
Splinter: I have always liked... "Cowabunga."
Turtles: Hmm? COWABUNGA!!
Splinter: [laughs] I made a funny! [laughs again]