You know it's been like two years since I've seen an actual human female nipple?

Shauna? Shauna was 2 years ago now?

Yeah.

I guess so, but she was insanely hot.

Exactly, she was TOO hot, okay? That's what sucks!

How can that possibly suck? I'd be psyched if I gotten with her. You got like two dozen handjobs.

Yes, and 3/4 of a blowjob, but who's counting, Evan? Look, it was the peak of my ass-getting career and it happened WAY, way too early.

[smirks]

You're like Orson Welles.

Exactly! If I had paced myself, I'd be having at least steady sex with a decent looking girl. I honestly see now why Orson Welles ate his fat ass to death!