Dick Steele quotes from Spy Hard (1996)

Dick Steele

Crazy? Some people think walking down the street muttering to yourself is crazy. I'll tell you what crazy is: Crazy is walking down the street with half a cantaloupe on your head, saying: "I'm a hamster. I'm a hamster." That's crazy.

Dick Steele

I'd shake your hand, but I don't remember where it landed.

Veronique

Oh, Dick, you came for me. Tell me, what...what's been happening?

Dick

Well, I've been doing a lot of soul searching, getting in touch with my inner child. And after careful consideration, well...I have decided that I love you.

Veronique

But what about my father?

Dick

Well, I like him. I just have to get to know him better.

Veronique

No, is he OK? Have you got the chip?

Dick

Oh, no, he's fine. And I've got the chip.

Veronique

Oh, I love you, too.

Veronique

Oh, Dick, it's so nice to know that everything is going to be all right. You have the chip. My father's safe. You love me, Dick.

Dick

Love? Let me tell you about love, Veronique. Love is a dewdrop on a rose petal. Love is a drop of rain pure and shimmering and trembling. So moist, so wet. And those tiny little drops of love come together, gathering up grown buds, and fallen flowers, and dirt, and dung, and deer droppings, flowing faster and faster, outward to the sea, onward and onward and...

Dick

Good night. We'll talk more in the morning.