Snatch quotes

View Quote Female Bookie: All bets are off.
Sol: I'm not in here to make a ****ing bet.
Female Bookie: 'Preciated, but all... bets... are... off. If all bets are off, then there can't be any money can't there?
Sol: I ain't ****ing buying that.
Female Bookie: Well that's handy, 'cause I ain't ****ing selling it. It's a fact.

View Quote Bullet Tooth Tony: Boris the Blade? As in... Boris, the Bullet-Dodger?
Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
Bullet Tooth Tony: [Gives him an odd look] Because he dodges bullets, Avi.

View Quote I don't care if he's Muhammad I'm Hard Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.

View Quote [Standing over Franky's body]
Bad Boy Lincoln: What has he got a tea cosy on his head for?
Sol: [sarcastic] To keep his head warm.
Bad Boy Lincoln: Well, what happened to him?
Sol: He got shot in the face, Lincoln. I would have thought that would be obvious.
Bad Boy Lincoln: What'd you do that for? You mistake him for a rabbit? What'd you want me to do about it?
Vinny: Sort it out.
Bad Boy Lincoln: I'm not a ****ing witch doctor.
Sol: But you are a bad-boy yardie, and bad-boy yardies are supposed to know how to get rid of bodies.
Bad Boy Lincoln: I create the bodies. I don't erase the bodies.

View Quote Sol: No, it's a moissanite.
Bad Boy Lincoln: A what-a-nite?
Sol: A moissanite is an artificial diamond, Lincoln. It's Mickey Mouse, mate. Spurious. Not genuine. And it's worth... **** all.

View Quote American Customs official: Anything to declare?
Avi: Yeah. Don't go to England.

View Quote Sol: What the **** is that?
Vinny: Heh heh. This, is a shotgun Sol.
Sol: It's a ****ing anti-aircraft gun, Vincent.
Vinny: So, I wanna raise some pulses don't I?
Sol: You'll raise Hell. Never mind pulses.

View Quote It had previously occurred to me that the pikey had taken the demise of his mother rather lightly. For every action, there is a reaction. And a Pikey reaction... is quite a ****ing thing.

View Quote [to Turkish] You are on thin ****ing ice, my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks!

View Quote Vinny: Why are we stopped here? What's wrong with that spot over there?
Tyrone: It's too tight.
Vinny: Too tight?! You could land a jumbo ****ing jet in there.

View Quote [On learning that Vincent has stored the diamond in his trousers for safety]
Sol: You ain't from this planet are you, Vincent? Who is gonna mug two black fellas, holding pistols, sit in a car... that's worth less than your shirt?
Vinny: [Looks out window] Bullet Tooth Tony and his friend, Desert Eagle point-five-oh.
Sol: What have they got to do with anything?
Vinny: They're both staring straight at me.
[Tony comes into view, taps gun on car window]
Bullet Tooth Tony: You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity. Now, out the car. And leave the water pistols behind you.

View Quote Gorgeous George: It's a campsite. A Pikey campsite.
Tommy: Ten points.
Gorgeous George: What're we doin' here?
Tommy: Buying a caravan.
Gorgeous George: Off a pack of ****in' pikeys?! What's wrong with you! This will get messy!
Tommy: Not if you're here.
Gorgeous George: Oh, you bastard! I ****in' hate pikeys!

View Quote Franky Four Fingers: I have stones to sell, fat to chew, and many different men to see about many different dogs, so if I am not rushing you...
Doug the Head: Slow down, Franky, my son. When in Rome...
Franky Four Fingers: I am not in Rome, Doug. I am in a rush.

View Quote No thanks Turkish. I'm sweet enough.

View Quote Avi: So what should I call you, "Bullet"? "Tooth"?
Bullet Tooth Tony: You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.