Snatch quotes

View Quote Brick Top: Pull your tongue out of my arsehole, Gary. Dogs do that. You're not a dog are ya Gary?
Gary: No, no I'm not.
Brick Top: However, you have all the characteristics of a dog, Gary... All except loyalty.
[Errol zaps Gary]
Turkish: [Narrating]It's rumored that Brick Top's favorite means of dispatch involves a stun gun, a plastic bag, a roll of tape, and a pack of hungry pigs.
Brick Top: You're a ruthless little **** Liam. I'll give ya that. But I got no time for grassers. Feed 'em to the pigs Errol... [turns to face the boxers in the ring] What the **** are you two looking at?

View Quote [On learning that Franky is making his way to a boxing match - and gambling] Avi: Did he have a case on him?
Doug the Head: Yes. He had a case.
Avi: And this schmuck is gambling? You're talking about Franky "I've got a problem with gambling" ****ing Four Fingers, Doug!
Doug the Head: Avi, I'm not telepathic.
Avi: Well you're plenty ****ing stupid, I'll give you that. Do you have any idea why they call him Franky "Four Fingers", Doug?
Doug the Head: No I have no idea.
Avi: Well because he makes stupid bets with dangerous people, and when he doesn't pay up, they give him the chop, Doug! And I'm not talking about his ****ing fore-skin either!

View Quote 'Blagged'? Speak English to me Tony, I thought this country spawned the ****in' language and so far nobody seems to speak it.

View Quote Listen here you ****ing fringe, if I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst I'm walking and I'll cut your ****ing jacobs off.

View Quote Avi: Tony.
Bullet Tooth Tony: What?
Avi: Look in the dog.
Bullet Tooth Tony: What you mean, 'Look in the dog'?
Avi: I mean, open him up.
Bullet Tooth Tony: It's not a ****ing tin of baked beans! What do you mean 'open him up'?!
Avi: You know what I mean.
Bullet Tooth Tony: [Appalled] That's a bit strong, ain't it. I don't know about this.[hesitated, but gets the dog anyway, ready with a blade]
Vinny:[speaks in disbelief]No, you can't do this.
[the squeaky toy in the dog makes the dog squeak when he's barking]
Bullet Tooth Tony: It's ****ing squeaking!!
Avi: You never heard a dog squeak before? Gimme the goddamn gun!!

View Quote Turkish: What's happening with them sausages, Charlie?
Sausage Charlie: Five minutes, Turkish.
Turkish: [Stares at Charlie in disbelief] Hang on, it was two minutes, five minutes ago.

View Quote Franky Four Fingers: So the biblical scholars mis-translated the Hebrew word for "young woman" into the Greek word for "virgin." It was an easy mistake to make, since there is only a subtle difference in the spelling. But it was the "virgin" that caught people's attention. It's not every day a virgin conceives and bears a son. So you keep that for a couple of hundred years, and the next thing you know, you have the Holy Catholic Church. Oy vey.

View Quote In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again?

View Quote [Tommy is buying a gun from Boris]
Boris "The Blade" Yurinov: Heavy is good, heavy is reliable. If it doesn't work, you can always hit 'em with it.
Turkish:[narrating] Boris The Blade. Or Boris The Bullet-Dodger. Bent as the Soviet sickle and hard as the hammer that crosses it. Apparently, it's just impossible to kill the bastard.

View Quote Mickey: Good dags. D'ya like dags?
Tommy: Dags?
Mickey: Dags. Ya like dags?
Mrs. O'Neil: Yeah, dags.
Tommy: Oh, dogs. Sure, I like dags. I like caravans more.

View Quote [Tyrone just backed into Franky Four Fingers' van]
Tyrone: I didn't see it there.
Vinny: It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. It's not as though it's a packet of ****ing peanuts now is it?
Tyrone: It was at a funny angle.
[All three turn and look back at the van]
Vinny: It's behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come from behind ya'.

View Quote Turkish: We've lost Gorgeous George.
Brick Top: [Motions for silence] You'll have to say that again, I don't think I heard you?
Turkish: We've lost Gorgeous George.
Brick Top: Well where'd ya lose him? He's ain't a set of car keys, is he? It's not as if he's incon-****ing-spicuous, now is it?

View Quote Turkish:[referring to their caravan/office] It's not good enough, Tommy. I want another one. And I want you to buy it for me.
Tommy: Why me?
Turkish: 'Cause you know about caravans.
Tommy: How's that then?
Turkish: You spent a summer in one, which mean's you know more than me. Here's ten grand, and it would be nice to see change. [turns towards caravan]
Tommy: What's wrong with this one?
Turkish: [pulls caravan door off trying to open it] Oh, nothing Tommy. It's tip-top. Its just I'm not sure about the colour.

View Quote Ever crossed the road and looked the wrong way? and hey presto a car's nearly on ya, so what do you do? You freeze. And your life doesn't flash before your eyes, 'cause you're too ****in' scared to think - you just freeze, and pull a stupid face. The pikey didn't - why? Because he had plans on running the car over.

View Quote [in front of Boris' house]
Turkish: He's left the door open.
Tommy: Shouldn't think that a good idea. Should we go in?
Turkish: I don't wanna go in there. He's a dangerous bastard. Taken too many disco biscuits in the heat of Russian disputations. He's got as many of these nuts [grabbing his nuts] as he has those nuts. [pointing to his head]
Tommy: I don't care if he's got ****ing hazelnuts. I want a gun that works and I'm gonna tell him.
Turkish:[Acts surprised about Tommy's confidence] My God, Tommy. You certainly got those minerals. Well, come on then. Before "Zee Germans" get here. You just tell him who's in charge.
[Boris comes from behind, covered in blood]
Tommy: Err, Boris.
[Boris punches Tommy in the nuts]
Turkish: You certainly told him, Tommy.
[Boris comes out from the House with the gun]
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov:[in Russian] ..со мной? Ну что будете теперь делать? Что? (...With me? So what are you going to do now? Huh?)