Snatch quotes
121 total quotesMickey
Multiple Characters
Turkish
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Brick Top: I've got a bare-knuckle fight in a couple of days, I wanna use the pikey.
Turkish: All right, of course.
Brick Top: Of course ****ing of course. I wasn't asking, I was telling.
Turkish: All right, of course.
Brick Top: Of course ****ing of course. I wasn't asking, I was telling.
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[After cleaning out Turkish's safe]
Brick Top: He's been quite a busy little bastard, that Turkish.
Errol: I think you've let him get away with enough, Gov'nor.
Brick Top: It'll get you in a lot of trouble thinking, Errol. I wouldn't do too much of it.
Brick Top: He's been quite a busy little bastard, that Turkish.
Errol: I think you've let him get away with enough, Gov'nor.
Brick Top: It'll get you in a lot of trouble thinking, Errol. I wouldn't do too much of it.
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[Looking at a surveillance tape of the bookies]
Brick Top: Do you know these tits, Errol?
Errol: I know a lot of tits, Gov'nor. But I don't know quite any as ****ing stupid as these two.
Brick Top: John?
John: I can't help, Guv.
[Until Tyrone appears onscreen]
Errol: Ah. Tyrone.
John and Errol [simultaneously]: You silly fat bastard.
Brick Top: Do you know these tits, Errol?
Errol: I know a lot of tits, Gov'nor. But I don't know quite any as ****ing stupid as these two.
Brick Top: John?
John: I can't help, Guv.
[Until Tyrone appears onscreen]
Errol: Ah. Tyrone.
John and Errol [simultaneously]: You silly fat bastard.
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Tommy: What's coursing?
Turkish: Hare coursing. They set two lurchers - they're dogs, before you ask. On a hare. And the hare has to outrun the dogs.
Tommy: So, what if it doesn't?
Turkish: Well the big rabbit gets ****ed, doesn't it.
Tommy:[pauses and thinks]Proper ****ed?
Turkish: Yeah, Tommy. Before "Zee Germans" get there.
[Later, to Mickey]
Turkish: Hare coursing. They set two lurchers - they're dogs, before you ask. On a hare. And the hare has to outrun the dogs.
Tommy: So, what if it doesn't?
Turkish: Well the big rabbit gets ****ed, doesn't it.
Tommy:[pauses and thinks]Proper ****ed?
Turkish: Yeah, Tommy. Before "Zee Germans" get there.
[Later, to Mickey]
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Turkish: OK, I reckon the hare gets ****ed.
Mickey: What? Proper ****ed? [laughs all round]
Mickey: What? Proper ****ed? [laughs all round]
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[After losing the bet to the pikeys]
Tommy: Who's proper ****ed now, then?
[Next scene]
Tommy: There's something very wrong about this. It was us who wanted to buy a caravan off of him.
Turkish: Well, why didn't you "bust a cap in his ass" then, Tommy? Mind you, you'd do more damage if you threw it at him.
Tommy: What, you sayin' I can't shoot?
Turkish: No Tommy, I wasn't saying you can't shoot. I know you can't shoot. What we're saying is that six pound piece of shit stuck in your pants would do more damage if you fed it to him.
Tommy: You saying the gun dont work?
Turkish: You've tried it?
[Next scene--Tommy tries to shoot out of the window, but the gun doesn't work]
Turkish: Whoops.
Tommy: I wanna see that sneaky ****ing Russian.
Tommy: Who's proper ****ed now, then?
[Next scene]
Tommy: There's something very wrong about this. It was us who wanted to buy a caravan off of him.
Turkish: Well, why didn't you "bust a cap in his ass" then, Tommy? Mind you, you'd do more damage if you threw it at him.
Tommy: What, you sayin' I can't shoot?
Turkish: No Tommy, I wasn't saying you can't shoot. I know you can't shoot. What we're saying is that six pound piece of shit stuck in your pants would do more damage if you fed it to him.
Tommy: You saying the gun dont work?
Turkish: You've tried it?
[Next scene--Tommy tries to shoot out of the window, but the gun doesn't work]
Turkish: Whoops.
Tommy: I wanna see that sneaky ****ing Russian.
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[After hearing about Bullet-Tooth Tony surviving after being shot six times]
Avi: Six times!?
Doug the Head: In one sitting.
Avi: Six times!?
Doug the Head: In one sitting.
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[Standing over Franky's body]
Bad Boy Lincoln: What has he got a tea cosy on his head for?
Sol: [sarcastic] To keep his head warm.
Bad Boy Lincoln: Well, what happened to him?
Sol: He got shot in the face, Lincoln. I would have thought that would be obvious.
Bad Boy Lincoln: What'd you do that for? You mistake him for a rabbit? What'd you want me to do about it?
Vinny: Sort it out.
Bad Boy Lincoln: I'm not a ****ing witch doctor.
Sol: But you are a bad-boy yardie, and bad-boy yardies are supposed to know how to get rid of bodies.
Bad Boy Lincoln: I create the bodies. I don't erase the bodies.
Bad Boy Lincoln: What has he got a tea cosy on his head for?
Sol: [sarcastic] To keep his head warm.
Bad Boy Lincoln: Well, what happened to him?
Sol: He got shot in the face, Lincoln. I would have thought that would be obvious.
Bad Boy Lincoln: What'd you do that for? You mistake him for a rabbit? What'd you want me to do about it?
Vinny: Sort it out.
Bad Boy Lincoln: I'm not a ****ing witch doctor.
Sol: But you are a bad-boy yardie, and bad-boy yardies are supposed to know how to get rid of bodies.
Bad Boy Lincoln: I create the bodies. I don't erase the bodies.
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Brick Top: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
Sol: Would someone mind telling me, who are ya?
Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
[Slightly stunned pause]
Vinny: Well... thank you for that. That's a real weight off me mind. Now I mean, wouldn't you mind telling me exactly who the **** you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs, of course.
Sol: Would someone mind telling me, who are ya?
Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
[Slightly stunned pause]
Vinny: Well... thank you for that. That's a real weight off me mind. Now I mean, wouldn't you mind telling me exactly who the **** you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs, of course.
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Brick Top: What do you think, Errol?
Errol: I think we should drip dry 'em, Guv'nor. While we've got the chance.
Brick Top: [exasperated] It was a rhetorical question, Errol. What have I told you about thinking?
Errol: I think we should drip dry 'em, Guv'nor. While we've got the chance.
Brick Top: [exasperated] It was a rhetorical question, Errol. What have I told you about thinking?
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Bullet Tooth Tony: Alright Mullet?
[Mullet freezes in shock, then turns around] Mullet: Hey Tony! How you doin' mate, alright?
Bullet Tooth Tony: Ooh, nice tie.
Mullet: I heard you werent about much these days, Tony
Bullet Tooth Tony: What do you know? Still warm, the blood that courses through my veins.Unlike yours, Mullet.
Mullet: Do me a favor Tone..
Bullet Tooth Tony: I will do you a favor, Mullet.I'll not get out of the car and bash the living **** out of you in front of your girlfriends.
Mullet: Got to make it worth my while, Mate.Jesus Tony, you know that.
[Tony grabs Mullets tie and rolls up the window, wedging Mullets head in it] Bullet Tooth Tony: Comfortable, Mullet? It seems sadly ironic that it's that tie that got you into this pickle.Now, you just take all the time you want.
Mullet: What the **** you doing Tone?!
Bullet Tooth Tony: Driving down the street with your head stuck in my window. What do you think I'm doing, you pinarse?
Mullet: Slow down, Tone!
Bullet Tooth Tony: You been using dog shit for toothpaste, Mullet?
Mullet: Slow down Tone. Slow down Tony!
Bullet Tooth Tony: Don't think I'll slow down. I think I'll speed up. [starts to accelerate]
[Mullet freezes in shock, then turns around] Mullet: Hey Tony! How you doin' mate, alright?
Bullet Tooth Tony: Ooh, nice tie.
Mullet: I heard you werent about much these days, Tony
Bullet Tooth Tony: What do you know? Still warm, the blood that courses through my veins.Unlike yours, Mullet.
Mullet: Do me a favor Tone..
Bullet Tooth Tony: I will do you a favor, Mullet.I'll not get out of the car and bash the living **** out of you in front of your girlfriends.
Mullet: Got to make it worth my while, Mate.Jesus Tony, you know that.
[Tony grabs Mullets tie and rolls up the window, wedging Mullets head in it] Bullet Tooth Tony: Comfortable, Mullet? It seems sadly ironic that it's that tie that got you into this pickle.Now, you just take all the time you want.
Mullet: What the **** you doing Tone?!
Bullet Tooth Tony: Driving down the street with your head stuck in my window. What do you think I'm doing, you pinarse?
Mullet: Slow down, Tone!
Bullet Tooth Tony: You been using dog shit for toothpaste, Mullet?
Mullet: Slow down Tone. Slow down Tony!
Bullet Tooth Tony: Don't think I'll slow down. I think I'll speed up. [starts to accelerate]
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Bullet Tooth Tony: Boris the Blade? As in... Boris, the Bullet-Dodger?
Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
Bullet Tooth Tony: [Gives him an odd look] Because he dodges bullets, Avi.
Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
Bullet Tooth Tony: [Gives him an odd look] Because he dodges bullets, Avi.
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[Sol is holding 2 pistols]
Vinny: What do you mean, Replicas?
Sol: They look the shit, don't they? And no one is going to argue. I've got some extra loud blanks just in case.
Vinny: Oh, in case we have to deafen them to death?
Vinny: What do you mean, Replicas?
Sol: They look the shit, don't they? And no one is going to argue. I've got some extra loud blanks just in case.
Vinny: Oh, in case we have to deafen them to death?
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[In a car, tailing Bullet Tooth Tony]
Vinny: Do they fire? [while holding a Replica gun]
Sol: Of course they fire.
Vinny: But how'd you know, they're replicas. What do you know about replicas?
[Sol is annoyed by the questions and shoots the car window]
Vinny: What the **** are you doing, Solomon?!
Sol: Well you wanted to know whether or not they worked!!
Vinny: I didn't mean try it in the car, Sol, you arsehole!!
Vinny: Do they fire? [while holding a Replica gun]
Sol: Of course they fire.
Vinny: But how'd you know, they're replicas. What do you know about replicas?
[Sol is annoyed by the questions and shoots the car window]
Vinny: What the **** are you doing, Solomon?!
Sol: Well you wanted to know whether or not they worked!!
Vinny: I didn't mean try it in the car, Sol, you arsehole!!