5th most-quoted character in Road Trip (2000): in 4 of its 28 quotes
Most scenes with: E.L. (2), Rubin (2), Josh (2)
Scenes with Kyle
4 scenes
Well, there are these rules that guys have, an understanding as to what exactly constitutes cheating. Take your situation for example: it's not cheating. It's never cheating when you're in a different area code, not to mention a different state.
Kyle That makes no sense.
Hey, don't look at me Kyle, OK, I didn't make up the rules.
No no, this is legit, I- I've actually read an article about this. There's a whole bunch of them, it's like- they're like loopholes. Right, for argument's sake, let's say that you were sleeping with two girls at the same time, it- it wouldn't be cheating because they would cancel each other out.
Exactly. Or if, uh, you're too wasted to remember- it is not cheating. Because if you can't really remember it, it never really took place.
Kyle It's not cheating if you spread peanut butter on your balls and let your dog lick it off.
Kyle [Josh, Rubin and E.L. are understandably repulsed]
Because it's your dog.
Kyle You know, because it's YOUR dog, get it?
Kyle Well, we had a few drinks, danced a little, and... y'know.
No, we don't know. Why don't you tell us?
[Kyle reaches into his bag and pulls out an oversized pair of leopard-print panties]
What the hell is that?! Did you kill a cheetah?
Kyle What? No, these are her underwear! She gave them to me! [puts them up to his face and sniffs them, much to everyone's disgust] I boinked her!
[Everyone laughs, including Kyle who is still too proud to care]
Well, Kyle, I certainly hope you got all the "boinking" out of your system, because we got a lot of driving to do today, guys.
FM Frat member
[Holding up a white hood]
Are you in the Ku Klux Klan?
Whoa whoa, that isn't ours.
Kyle That's not mine!
OK, hold on, th-there's obviously some explanation.
FM Frat member
There is. See your boy here's an evil bigot, and now he's gonna die.
Kyle [faints]
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