Man, could you believe Mr. Blonde?
That was the most insane ****in' thing I have ever seen. Why the **** would Joe hire a guy like that?
I mean, I don't wanna kill anybody. But if I gotta get out that door, and you're standin' in my way, one way or the other you're gettin' out of my way.
[while splashing water on his face in the sink]
That's the way I look at it. The choice between doin' ten years, or takin' out some stupid mother****er, ain't no choice at all. [dries his face off with a paper towel] But I ain't no madman, either! What the **** was Joe thinkin' when he came up with a guy like that? We were awful goddamn lucky he didn't tag us when he shot the place up. I came this close to takin' his ass out myself!
[taking his gun out to reload it]
I mean, everybody panics. Everybody. Things get tense...it's human nature, you panic. I don't care what your name is, you can't help it.
[Mr. Pink chambers a round in his gun; Mr. White turns, briefly alarmed, before Mr. Pink puts his gun away]
****, man, you panic on the inside. In your head, ya know? Then you give yourself a couple of seconds, you get a hold of the situation, you deal with it! What you don't do, is start shootin' up the place, and start killin' people!
[combing his hair, while looking in the mirror]
What you're supposed to do, is act like a ****in' professional. A psychopath ain't a professional. You can't work with a psychopath. You don't know what those sick assholes are gonna do next.
[Mr. White turns towards Mr. Pink]
I mean...Jesus Christ, how old do you think that black girl was? Twenty? Maybe twenty-one?
We were set up. The cops were there waitin' for us.
What? Nobody ****in' set anybody up.
The cops were there waitin' for us, man!
Hey, **** you, man! You weren't there, we were! And I'm tellin' you, the cops had the place staked out!
Okay, Mr. ****in' Detective, you're so ****in' smart? Huh? Who did it?
What the hell do ya think we've been askin' each other?
Yeah? And what'd you come up with, huh? You think I did it? You think I ****in' set you up?
I don't know! But somebody did!
Nobody did. You ****in' assholes turned the jewelry store into a Wild West show--
[interrupting]
Don't you call me an asshole!
You ****in' idiots turned the ****in' jewelry store into a Wild West show--
[interrupting again]
Don't you call me a ****in' idiot!
[louder]
--and you wonder why the ****in' cops show up?!
You wanna **** with me? I'll show you who you're **** with!
You wanna shoot me, you little piece of shit? Go ahead. Take a shot.
**** you, White. I didn't create the situation, I'm dealing with it! You're acting like a first-year **** thief, I'm acting like a professional! They get him, they get you. They get you, they get closer to me and that can't happen! You're looking at me like it's my fault? I didn't tell him my name, I didn't tell him where I was from! Shit, fifteen minutes ago, you almost told me your name. Your buddy got stuck in a situation you created. So if you wanna throw bad looks somewhere, go look in a mirror!
You kids shouldn't play so rough. Somebody's gonna start crying.
[gesturing towards Mr. Orange, who is bleeding out on the floor]
What are you gonna do about him?
Jesus Christ, gimme a ****in' chance to breathe, here. I got a few questions of my own.
[gesturing towards Mr. Orange again]
You ain't dyin'. He is.
[exasperatedly]
All right, Mr. ****in' COMPASSION! I will call somebody!
[incredulously]
...a ****in' snake charmer! Who do you think? I'll call a doctor, they'll fix him right up!
[snatches Joe's address book]
Give me this **** thing.
What do you think you're doing? Give me back my book!
I'm sick of **** hearing it Joe, I'll give it back to you when we leave.
What do you mean, give it to me when we leave, give it back now.
For the past fifteen minutes, you've been droning on about names. Toby. Toby? Toby? Toby Wong. Toby Wong? Toby Wong. Toby Chung? **** Charlie Chan. I got Madonna's big dick coming out of my left ear, and Toby the Jap... I-don't-know-what coming out of my right.
Okay. Let's go through what happened.
We're in the place, everything's going fine. Then the alarm gets tripped. I turn around, and all these cops are outside. You're right, it was like, bam! [snaps fingers] I blink my eyes, and they're there. Everybody starts goin' apeshit, and Mr. Blonde starts to shoot all the--
[interrupting]
That's not correct.
Okay. The cops did not show up when the alarm went off. The cops didn't show up until after Mr. Blonde started shootin' everybody.
As soon as I heard the alarm, I saw the cops--
No, man, I'm telling you it wasn't that soon. They let--they didn't let their presence be known until after Mr. Blonde became a madman. I'm not sayin' they weren't there, I'm sayin' they were, but they didn't make, their-their move until after Mr. Blonde started shootin' everybody. I mean, that's how I know we were set up. C'mon, Mr. White, you can, I mean, you can see that--
[interrupting]
Look! Look, enough of this "Mr. White" shit--
Hey, wait wait wait, man! Don't tell me your ****in' name, man, I don't wanna know it! Jesus Christ, I ain't gonna tell you mine!
[Mr. White and Mr. Pink take a moment to consider their situation]
You're right. This is bad.
You better start talkin', asshole! Cause we got shit we need to talk about. We're already freaked out, we need you actin' freaky like we need a ****in' bag on our hip.
We think we got a rat in the house.
I guarantee we got a rat in the house!
Is that supposed to be funny?
Look, we think this place ain't safe.
This place just ain't secure anymore. We're leaving, you should go with us.
[about Mr. Blonde]
Piss on this **** turd! [To Mr. Pink] We're outta here.
Don't take another step, Mr. White.
[screams]
**** you, maniac! It's your ****in' fault we're in this trouble!
[calmly to Mr. Pink]
What's this guy's problem?
What's my problem? Yeah, I gotta ****in' problem! I gotta big ****in' problem with any trigger-happy madman who almost gets me shot!
What the **** are you talking about?
That **** shooting spree in the store, remember?!
[shrugs]
**** 'em. They set off the alarm. They deserve what they got.
You almost killed me! ASSHOLE! If I had known what kind of guy you were, I never would've agreed to work with you.
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?
What was that? I'm sorry, I didn't catch it. Would you repeat it?
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite? [throws away his drink]
Oh, Christ, hey, look, you two assholes, calm the **** down! Hey, come on, are we on a playground here, huh?! [pause] Am I the only professional?! You ****in' guys are acting like a bunch of ****in' ****! You work with ****, huh? Just like you two, always sayin' they're gonna kill each other.
[to Mr. Pink]
You said yourself you thought about taking him out!
[menacing]
You ****in' said that?
Yeah, I did, OK? I did. But that was then. Right now, this guy is the only one I completely trust. He's too ****in' homicidal to be workin' with the cops.
NO! **** sides, man! What we need here is a little solidarity! Somebody's stickin' a red hot poker up our asses, and I wanna know whose name's on the handle! Now I know I'm no piece of shit... [referring to Mr. White] And I'm pretty sure you're OK... [referring to Mr. Blonde] And I'm ****in' positive you're on the level. So let's try and figure out who the bad guy is, alright?
[calming down, chuckling]
Wow, that was really exciting. I bet you're a big Lee Marvin fan, aren't ya? Me too, I love that guy. My heart's beatin' so fast, I'm about to have a heart attack here.
All right, first things ****in' last. Who's got the stones? Please, somebody at least tell me, just one little ****in' favor, just for my sake--
[interrupting]
I got a bag. I got a bag, okay? I stashed it until we could be sure this place wasn't a police station!
Good for you. Now let's go get it. But first we gotta get rid of those cars outside, it looks like Sam's Hot Car Lot out there. Okay. Blondie, you sit here and babysit them two. White and Pink, you take a car each. I'll follow you. You ditch 'em, pick up the stones. And while I'm followin' you, I'll arrange some sort of a doctor for our friend. [pointing at Mr. Orange]
[pointing at Mr. Blonde]
You can't leave these guys here with him.
Because he's a ****in' psycho. And if you think Joe's pissed off, that ain't nothin' compared to how pissed off I am at him, for puttin' me in the same room as that bastard!
You see what I've been puttin' up with, Eddie? I ****in' walked in here, I told these guys about stayin' put, Mr. White whips out his gun, he's stickin' it in my face, callin' me a mother****er, sayin' he's gonna blow me away, and blah blah blah blah blah.
[pointing at Mr. Blonde]
He's the reason the joint turned into a shootin' spree. [to Mr. Pink] What are you, a ****in' silent partner?! Tell him!
He went crazy in the store, but he seems all right now.
This is what he was doin': [mimics Mr. Blonde shooting people in the head] Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.
Yeah, bam bam bam bam bam. I told 'em not to touch the ****in' alarm, they did. If they hadn't've done what I told 'em not to do, they'd still be alive.
[sarcastically applauding]
My ****in' hero!
That's your excuse for goin' on a kill-crazy rampage?
I don't like alarms, Mr. White.
What does it matter who stays with the cop? We ain't lettin' him go, not after he's seen everybody.
Officer Marvin Nash I haven't been lookin' at you guys--
[interrupting]
Shut the **** up, man! [punches Nash]
You guys should have never taken him out of the trunk in the first place.
We tried to find out what he knew about the setup--
[enraged]
THERE IS NO ****IN' SETUP! Now here's the news! Blondie, you stay here and take care of these two! White and Pink, you come with me! 'Cause if Joe gets here and he sees all these cars, I swear to you he's gonna be just as mad at me as he is at you!
You don't believe in tipping?
You know what these chicks make? They make shit.
Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.
I don't even know a **** Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me get this straight: you never ever tip, huh?
I don't tip because society says I have to. Alright, I tip when somebody really deserves a tip. If they put forth an effort, I'll give them something extra. But I mean, this tipping automatically, that's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned they're just doing their job.
She was okay. But she wasn't anything special.
What's special? Take you in the back and suck your dick?
I'd go over twelve percent for that.
Did you see that daddy? Guy got me on the ground and he tried to **** me.
VV Vic Vega (aka Mr. Blonde)
You wish.
Listen Vic, I don't mind what you do, but don't try to **** me in my father's office, I don't think of you that way. I like you a lot man, but I don't think of you that way.
Vic Eddie, if I was a butt cowboy, I wouldn't even throw you to the posse.
Of course not, you'd keep me for yourself, you sick bastard. Four years of ****in' punks up the ass you'd appreciate a piece of prime rib when you see one.
Let me say this out loud, 'cause I wanna get it straight in my head. You're saying that Mr. Blonde was gonna kill you, then when we got back, he was going kill us, take the satchel of diamonds, and scram. I'm right about that, right? That's correct? That's your story?
I swear on my mother's eternal soul that's what happened.
The man you just killed was just released from prison. He got caught at a company warehouse full of hot items. He could've ****in' walked. All he had to do was say my dad's name, but he didn't; he kept his **** mouth shut. And did his ****in' time, and he did it like a man. He did four years for us. So, Mr. Orange, you're tellin' me this very good friend of mine, who did four years for my father, who in four years never made a deal, no matter what they dangled in front of him, you're telling me that now, that now this man is free, and we're making good on our commitment to him, he's just gonna decide, out of the **** blue, to rip us off? Why don't you tell me what really happened?
[walks in]
What the hell for? It'd just be more bullshit.
