ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #


View Quote Aidan: I sold your girlfriend a toothbrush.
Tyler: You sold my who? What?
Aidan: You know, your girlfriend. That voluptuous delightfully oblivious little blonde you left in your bed yesterday?
Tyler: Yeah
Aidan: Yeah, I sold her a toothbrush. I got three bucks.
Tyler: Congratulations.
Aidan: Yeah are in order. 'Cause that sale inspired our newest business venture. The S.L.U.T. It's a Single Lady's Universal Tote. It's a one-night-stand travel pack for women. You know? We throw in make-up and toiletries a cell phone charger, cab numbers... We retail it for $19.95. Maybe we'd do an infomercial.
Tyler: Do you think women will buy this, with actual money?
Aidan: Okay. Yeah. You know what? Fine. Be cynical. But think about it, at one point in history, two people had a conversation, a lot like this one about the lightbulb. One went on to fame and fortune, the other probably went to work at Mickey D's or something.
View Quote Aidan: He has got a daughter!
Tyler: Who's got a daughter?
Aidan: The cop that busted your face all up! He’s got a daughter!
Tyler: What do you want me to do? Kidnap her?
Aidan: We don't have the closet space for that! Just introduce yourself, go on a few dates. Be you charming gentlemanly self, and then flip the script on her.
Tyler: What's flip the script?
Aidan: Screw her brains out. Make her call you daddy! I don't know. Steal her panties and sell them on ebay or put them up on her high school's website. I don't know, just be creative.
View Quote Aiden: He's in love with you. I've only ever seen him look at one other girl the way he looks at you, and she's a lot shorter and shares his DNA.
Ally: He lied to me.
Aidan: You don’t have to forgive him today. Just forgive him.
View Quote Ally: Can I – Can I see? That’s exactly him. It’s like the cigarette it’s the last coke in the desert. I can’t believe he smokes in front of you!
Caroline: Don’t worry. I’m not that impressionable.
Ally: So, you’ve got an art exhibit coming up?
Caroline: Yeah…
Ally: Do you mind if I come? I mean, I understand if you don’t want some – like random girl there.
Caroline: You’re not random. You’re Tyler’s girlfriend.
View Quote Ally: I don’t know what are you smiling about.
Tyler: I won!
Ally: Paying off the attendant it’s not winning, it’s cheating. By the way, when the hell were you gonna tell me what happened to your face?
Tyler:I got into a bar fight.
Tyler: Do you want to go out for a beer or something? Oh wait you're not old enough..
Ally: I'm 21..
Tyler: No you're not.. Did you lie?
Ally: I was trying to get rid of you.
Tyler: That hurts, I'm wounded.
Ally: Well, it's getting pretty late so...
Tyler: I'll walk you to the subway.
Ally: I'll take a cab. I never take the subway anymore.
View Quote Ally: I’m going out.
Neil Craig: Who’re you going with?
Ally: A boy from school.
Neil Craig: Okay.
Ally: I wasn't asking for permission.
Neil Craig: I know that, just be careful.
View Quote Ally: My dad, he needs to take care of people. He just doesn’t understand.. or.. doesn't know what’s going on right now.
Tyler: What’s going on right now?
View Quote Ally: Sorry, I fell asleep.
Neil Craig: Asleep. Where?
Ally: (sigh) my phone died. Hey that’s mine! That’s from my desk.
Neil Craig: I was trying to find some information.
Ally: Oh, What I’m now one of yours suspects?
Neil Craig: When you act like one.
Ally: Oh for God’s sake.
Neil Craig: Don’t use that tone with me, Ally! I smell alcohol.
Ally: Yeah, so do I.
Neil Craig: That supposed to mean something? What’s going on here, Ally? Trying to tell me something with this? You are all grown up now?
Ally: Maybe it’s time you get use to it dad, before you give yourself a heart attack.
Neil Craig: Who is the guy?
Ally: What makes you think there is a guy?
Neil Craig: Yeah, he is a real prince. He gets you drunk. Send you home smelling like a brewery , smelling like god knows what. You sure can pick 'em!
Ally: Yeah, I take after my mother.
Ally: I’m not a child!
Neil Craig: In this house, you are!
View Quote Ally: Thanks.
Tyler: Yeah. So.. Um.. (he tries to kiss her, she refuses).
Ally: Not tonight.
Tyler: Okay.
Ally: Not – not never, just, not tonight
Cab driver: Are we going or what?
Ally: Turn on the meter.
Tyler: Not never? So, dessert first for fear of asteroid: yes but, kissing a guy you’re seem to be attracted to, at least,before driving off into the unknown New York City night alongside a panda you only just met: no. Great. (she kisses him). Good.
Ally: You’re really weird.
Tyler: Yeah, I know..
Ally: (To taxi driver) Going to queens, don't wanna hear about it!
View Quote Ally: What deserts do you have?
Restaurant Waiter: Mango ice cream with nuts and raisins.
Ally: Great. Hum, I’ll have that and a glass of skim milk and then the lamb vindaloo. Thanks.
Tyler: Oh can I have a chicken tikka masala and a kingfisher please?
Ally: I have my dessert first.
Tyler: Is that a political statement or a medical condition, perhaps?
Ally: I just don’t see the point of waiting. What if I die eating my vindaloo?
Tyler: Is that probable?
Ally: It's possible. Embolism bursts, astroid hits the restaurant. I'd die without having eaten the one thing I wanted most.
Tyler: I mean, the odds.. The odds are…
Ally: Tell you what. Guarantee me, swear to me on your eternal soul that I make it through my entrée, and I’ll wait. Before you answer, If I die, you’ll have to live the rest of your life knowing that not only did you lie to me but you denied me my one last indulgence. My last wish. Are you prepared to shoulder that kind of responsibility to prove a point? Don't worry, I'll share.
View Quote Caroline: Why do you think dad doesn’t want to, like listen to me?
Tyler: Dad loves you.
Caroline: So, you can love someone and not want to spend time with them.
Tyler: Yeah, you got that right.
Caroline: Mom loves aunt Sara, but at christmas last year she wouldn't let Les leave them in a room together. She said that there'll be a "Yuletide homicide".
Tyler: That's 'cause aunt Sara drinks. You don't drink, do you?
Caroline: I'm eleven.
Tyler: So why would anyone ever wanna avoid you?
View Quote Charles Hawkins: She knows I’ll take care of her. That’s all there is, Tyler.
Tyler: That’s all there is? It’s not enough.
View Quote Charles Hawkins: You could do worse than have a father who bails you out of jail.
Tyler: I don’t want to be bailed out of anything. I just wanted you to know that I didn’t call you.
View Quote Game Attendant: Take a shot. Three for one. One dollar. Oh! Ok! Come on, win a prize. Win a prize for the pretty lady.
Ally: Ya, I want.. I – I want the panda.
Tyler: How much do you give the panda?
Game Attendant: Three for three. Go! Oh!
Ally: Oh!
Tyler: Yeah, give me three more. If I give up, he wins.
Ally: Who? The attendant?
Tyler: The giant freaking panda!
Game Attendant: Take it easy tough guy!
Tyler: I’m sorry. Three more. Three more.
View Quote Receptionist: Charles, It’s your son.
Charles Hawkins: What?
Receptionist: On the phone..
Charles Hawkins: Tyler, you’re on speaker phone
Tyler: Yeah, I’m calling about Caroline’s art show.
Charles Hawkins: What about it?
Tyler: Aaahh…
Charles Hawkins: Hold on. Yes, Tyler.
Tyler: Yeah, I was wondering if you want to have dinner beforehand.
Charles Hawkins: What?
Tyler: Do you wanna have dinner, before?
Charles Hawkins: Yeah. Yeah, that would be fine. How many?
Tyler: Three.
Charles Hawkins: It's 22 today isn't it?
Tyler: Yeah.
Charles Hawkins: Happy birthday.
Tyler: yeah thanks.