Excuse me. Can I bother you for a second?
Ally You’re already bothering me.
Listen, I’m doing this sociological experiment, and I was just wondering if you could help me out for a second.
Ally You're kidding right?
Ally Anonymous..
Anonymous? Is that Greek? Ok, anonymous, do you see that guy sitting over there pretending to read a textbook looking in this general direction?
Ally Yeah, staring at us? Subtle.
See I have this theory that an objective third party such as yourself can determine how much of an asshole he is by just looking at him. See, I'm his roommate and I think that I have witnessed too many glaring examples of assoholic behaviour that I'm biased as a subject. But I'm convinced that he has an aura that you can actually perceive.
Ally Who else do you plan on asking?
I don’t know. I don’t think anybody else here fits the criteria. Attractive blonde, early twenties, female.
Ally Ah! Nineteen, so..
Nineteen...That's fine. Teens. I can do teens. Well, typically you get something for being involved in one of these surveys, I - I ran out of my foam fingers a while back so, I don’t know, can I take you out to dinner or something? Maybe just a conversation on the off chance that one of us says something interesting?
Ally Yeah, there is a problem there, ‘cause I don’t date sociology majors.
Lucky for you I’m undecided
Ally About what?
Ally I’m Ally.
Ally What deserts do you have?
Restaurant Waiter Mango ice cream with nuts and raisins.
Ally Great. Hum, I’ll have that and a glass of skim milk and then the lamb vindaloo. Thanks.
Oh can I have a chicken tikka masala and a kingfisher please?
Ally I have my dessert first.
Is that a political statement or a medical condition, perhaps?
Ally I just don’t see the point of waiting. What if I die eating my vindaloo?
Ally It's possible. Embolism bursts, astroid hits the restaurant. I'd die without having eaten the one thing I wanted most.
I mean, the odds.. The odds are…
Ally Tell you what. Guarantee me, swear to me on your eternal soul that I make it through my entrée, and I’ll wait. Before you answer, If I die, you’ll have to live the rest of your life knowing that not only did you lie to me but you denied me my one last indulgence. My last wish. Are you prepared to shoulder that kind of responsibility to prove a point? Don't worry, I'll share.
Game Attendant Take a shot. Three for one. One dollar. Oh! Ok! Come on, win a prize. Win a prize for the pretty lady.
Ally Ya, I want.. I – I want the panda.
How much do you give the panda?
Game Attendant Three for three. Go! Oh!
Ally Oh!
Yeah, give me three more. If I give up, he wins.
Ally Who? The attendant?
The giant freaking panda!
Game Attendant Take it easy tough guy!
I’m sorry. Three more. Three more.
Ally I don’t know what are you smiling about.
Ally Paying off the attendant it’s not winning, it’s cheating. By the way, when the hell were you gonna tell me what happened to your face?
Do you want to go out for a beer or something? Oh wait you're not old enough..
Ally I'm 21..
No you're not.. Did you lie?
Ally I was trying to get rid of you.
Ally Well, it's getting pretty late so...
I'll walk you to the subway.
Ally I'll take a cab. I never take the subway anymore.
Ally Thanks.
Yeah. So.. Um.. (he tries to kiss her, she refuses).
Ally Not tonight.
Ally Not – not never, just, not tonight
CD Cab driver
Are we going or what?
Ally Turn on the meter.
Not never? So, dessert first for fear of asteroid: yes but, kissing a guy you’re seem to be attracted to, at least,before driving off into the unknown New York City night alongside a panda you only just met: no. Great. (she kisses him). Good.
Ally You’re really weird.
Ally (To taxi driver)
Going to queens, don't wanna hear about it!
I know. We live like pigs. But, I do have a coaster, if you want a coaster.
Ally Ah, don't do coasters 'til the third date. Hey who's that?
That's Michael. That's my brother.
Ally He Kinda looks like you. Does he play around here?
Ally Do you play?
Well it depends who you ask. It's turns out you need talent.
Ally So what talents do you actually possess?
Tyler': Not a lot. I uh, I used to do a bit of falconry. I mean, I come from a long line of Irish falconers, oh I don't know if this qualifies as a talent (brings out cake)
Ally What is that?
This is our appetizer. It used to say "In case of astroid," but Aiden, my roommate, got high and I was in the shower.. so..
Ally So this is the whole playful you-got-me-all-wet part, right?
Ally It is cheap. I’ve seen this scene a hundred times. You know – you know what never happens in these scene? Tyler who doesn’t really go to school? Tyler doesn’t really care about his job.
Ally No? (she turns over him a pot full of water) That.
You! You better apologize!
Ally Never!
Ally Your middle name is Keats, god, your parents are pretentious as hell.
Ally Never!
Ally I rather eat monkeys.
Oh God. Not in the plans. Not in the plans. I surr... I surrender, geeze you're relentless.
Ally Victory at all costs.
Oh man, Now I'm pissed. (Gets out cigarette)
Ally You should quit anyway.
Why is that? Are cigarettes bad for you or something?
Ally Sorry, I fell asleep.
Ally (sigh)
my phone died. Hey that’s mine! That’s from my desk.
I was trying to find some information.
Ally Oh, What I’m now one of yours suspects?
Ally Oh for God’s sake.
Don’t use that tone with me, Ally! I smell alcohol.
Ally Yeah, so do I.
That supposed to mean something? What’s going on here, Ally? Trying to tell me something with this? You are all grown up now?
Ally Maybe it’s time you get use to it dad, before you give yourself a heart attack.
Ally What makes you think there is a guy?
Yeah, he is a real prince. He gets you drunk. Send you home smelling like a brewery , smelling like god knows what. You sure can pick 'em!
Ally Yeah, I take after my mother.
Ally I’m not a child!
Ally Can I – Can I see? That’s exactly him. It’s like the cigarette it’s the last coke in the desert. I can’t believe he smokes in front of you!
Caroline Don’t worry. I’m not that impressionable.
Ally So, you’ve got an art exhibit coming up?
Caroline Yeah…
Ally Do you mind if I come? I mean, I understand if you don’t want some – like random girl there.
Caroline You’re not random. You’re Tyler’s girlfriend.
My father is a Yankees fan. It has something to do with the payroll.
It’s something to do with the significant ball play
You’re a Yankees fan when you where little. You wore a Lou Pinella for Halloween.
Just blind familiar allegiance. It’s before I knew what’s overpay, overfed, fat Bastards.
Who’s fat? What Yankee is fat? Tell me.
It’s a metaphor. Roger Clemens.
Ally Luis Sojo. Shane Spencer.
