Richard Tyler [repeated line]
This is not good. Definitely not good.
More lines from Richard Tyler
7 quotes Richard Tyler Richard Tyler Dad, 8% of all household accidents involve ladders, another 3% involve trees. We're looking at another 30% probability here.
Richard Tyler You guys are the only friends I've ever had.
Richard Tyler Thanks, but I have already a family. I really should be getting home now.
Richard Tyler I was nearly torn apart by a crazy doctor, made into a slave by a bunch of mangy pirates, and eaten-- got that? --eaten by a fire-breathing dragon!
Richard Tyler [new catchphrase]
Good. That was definitely good.
Richard Tyler (to the Dragon before being swallowed and overcoming fear of being eaten)
I’m not scared of you!
Scenes with Richard Tyler
9 scenes Richard Tyler Can't argue with statistics, Dad.
Statistics. Here's something you can do: go down to Gutman's Hardware Store, buy a pound of these.
Richard Tyler But, Dad...
Son, you can't live your life based on statistics. You've gotta take some chances. Now come on, Buddy.
Richard Tyler [Alan gives money to Richard. His mother Claire releases him and joins her father in unison] [Leaving his parents behind]
This is not good. Definately not good.
Mr. Dewey Welcome to the library, young man. Don't tell me, you're here for a special book.
Richard Tyler Uh, Mister...
Mr. Dewey Stop, stop stop, let me guess. I have a talent for guessing what people need. You're in need of... [starts speaking magically] a fantasy. Brave knights, mythical faeries, ferocious dragons.
Richard Tyler Look, all I want is...
Mr. Dewey [grabbing him and speaking excitedly]
Adventure!! Of course, you're a boy who loves adventure, brimming with wicked demons, cutthroat pirates.
Richard Tyler No, no. That's not it.
Mr. Dewey Horror. [speaking scarily while creeping toward him] Ahh, horror. Evil demons, wretched monsters, haunted houses, graveya-a-rds. Yes, it's horror for you, boy. I'm sure of it. [back to normal voice] Your library card, please.
Richard Tyler Uh, I don't have one.
Mr. Dewey [makes a library card appear magically]
You do now.
I heard that! And I would let you know, I'm a Classic!
Mm-hmm, a classic misprint.
Why, you old sea serpent! I'll rip out your pages, and use them for--! (slips off) OH NO! (falls to the ground) MAN OVERBOARD!
Richard Tyler (really freaking out)
Do something!
Hmm... (Gives you a blast of wand, then Adventure falls and crashed down) Oops. Ha, ha, I forgot my wand doesn't always work outside of the fantasy section.
Richard Tyler You mean you can't wish us to the exit?
[notices the names carved on the wall of the gate]
Dr. Jekyll? Mr. Hyde? (turns away) Must be a duplex.
Richard Tyler Whoa!
Go ahead, matey. I'm--I'm right behind ye. (Richard Tyler gasps, the trio walks onto the porch and stood behind the two doors of the house) [points the rope] Well, ring the bell.
Richard Tyler (panting) [Reaches for the rope, and gives a yank, making the bell chime loudly]
[slipping off the roof of the house, falling down, and screaming, making Richard Tyler, Adventure and Fantasy look up]
AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
[Richard caught him in his arms] Oof!
Richard Tyler [looks at Horror, disgusted]
Huh?
Richard Tyler (a little scared)
H--here, take it!
You mustn't judge a book by its cover. [Horror makes a cheerful face]
Richard Tyler (confused)
Uhhh...
Look, he's smiling.
Richard Tyler (grossed out)
That's a smile?
So, do I think I'm scaring it? He shouldn't swim right after eating you know, he'll get cramps.
Where did he go?
Richard Tyler Aaaahh! (The Whales movement)
Row! Row for your lives!
Richard Tyler [shrieking]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! [he caughts with a Moby Dick]
Abandon Ship--!
Richard Tyler, Horror, Fantasy, Adventure
[bites off the boat]
Waa-hooooooh!
Richard Tyler [screams]
Aaaaaaaahhh--! [he falls down to the water and crashed] Me-me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me! [coughs in water] Guys! Where are you?!
No, no! Chest! Chest!
Oh, uh, chest. Chest. Ah, hee, hee, hee, ha, ha, ha, ha! [singing] Yo, ho, ho! And a bottle of rum!
Richard Tyler Aah! Aaaaaah...!
Tom Morgan Evil spirits!
Hee, hee! [jumping off the tree with a vine] SANCTUARY!! [knocks the pirates down, then landed on the ground] Huh!
Richard Tyler Horror, you are alive!
Tom Morgan [using the gun with Horror]
Not for long! Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee!
Aaaaaaaaaaah!
Richard Tyler Where's Horror? Wasn't he with you?
He was, but he...I mean, I sort of...uh..he, uh....
Well, I--I...I just...uh, I'll go find him.
Yeah, you better go find him. And be quick about it!
Richard Tyler Wow! Look at this place!
It's so purdy. I could be misshelved here for a long time.
Happyland.
Richard Tyler [on seeing the Pagemaster again]
Hey! How did you get here!?
Richard Tyler I know who he is. He's the one who did THIS [gesturing along his body] to me!! Do you have any idea what I've been through?!
Pagemaster Tell me.
Richard Tyler I was nearly torn apart by a crazy doctor!! I was made a slave by a bunch of mangy pirates. And eaten--got that, eaten--by a fire-breathing dragon!!
He don't mean it, my Pagemaster. He don't mean it.
Richard Tyler And not to mention being tossed, squashed, and scared practically to death!!
Pagemaster Yet you stand before me.
Richard Tyler Well, yeah.
Pagemaster Think, boy! What kind of an adventure would you have had if I brought you here with the turn of a page?
Dr. Jekyll [hologram of Mr. Hyde appears, then morphs into Jekyll]
You prevailed over evil. [morphs into Captain Ahab]
Captain Ahab
Ah, you looked Moby Dick in the eye, boy. [morphs into Long John Silver]
Long John Silver
Ah, you had pirate stuff, me lad! And don't no one speak any different.
Pagemaster If I hadn't brought you here from the start, you would never have found the courage to face your own fears. [hologram morphs into the Dragon] And in doing so, you triumph here... and always. [hologram shows a live-action Richard Tyler unconscious on the library's rotunda floor]
Richard Tyler Hey, that's... That's me!
Pagemaster That was you.
