Gary, now!
Claire Fletcher [Gary eats Mr. Chun in the crotch and screaming. Claire kicks the back patch, roll on his back again and feet with his neck.]
Couldn't let you have all the fun.
Played by Lauren Graham 
The Pacifier (2005) · 25 quotes
The Pacifier (2005) · 25 quotes
4th most-quoted character in The Pacifier (2005): in 4 of its 25 quotes
Most scenes with: Shane Wolfe (4), Murney (3)
Scenes with Claire Fletcher
4 scenes Claire Fletcher Claire Fletcher Looks like you have a hit on your hands.
You think so?
Claire Fletcher Mm-hmm. You should take over the drama department instead of the wrestling team. [She and Shane chuckle] It's gonna be nice having you around now. Now that Murney's found his true calling.
It's gonna be my pleasure serving with you.
[He and Claire share a kiss]
Got them here. My fault.
Yeah, I always said these kids needed a parole officer. I guess Mrs. Plummer thought so too, huh? Wow, you got a real upper torso going on, huh? You ever do any time?
You got something to say, boy?
No.
No? Good. Wow, it looks like you have a pair of legs coming out of your shoulders. You hit the gym a lot, do you?
Eh.
All right, you know what, Creeper? You just bought yourself an extra 15 minutes on the mats with the Murninator!
Excuse me. Lieutenant Shane Wolfe. I'm watching the kids for the Plummers, a few days.
Oh, babysitter, huh? Well, good, whatever job you can get, right? I'm Murney, Dwayne Murney. My friends call me "Little Puppet". I'm the VP here. I'm in charge of discipline, conduct and truancy from top to bottom, K through 12. You're in my house now, strong man.
You're the vice principal.
And the wrestling coach. See the Creeper over there? He has played hooky from every wrestling practice this month. And her, she has missed 22 Driver's Ed classes out of 23! These are the worst students in my school. I'm ashamed of...
Claire Fletcher Your school? Good morning, kids. [clears throat] Mr. Murney, thank you so much for watching my chair for me. I'll take it from here.
Roger that. Absolutely. I was just informing our new friend here about some of the duties as vice principal.
Claire Fletcher Yes, and speaking of which, how's it going with the investigation into the baloney slices on the cafeteria ceiling?
Oh, that's been taking some interesting turns.
Claire Fletcher You just keep up the good work.
Right then. I'll be on the roof.
Claire Fletcher Bye, now. All right, kids, I think it's time to get back to class. I'll cut you some slack seeing as it's Lieutenant Wolfe's first day. Thank you.
Okay, so she wrecked the Driver's Ed car. The insurance will pay for it.
They were parallel parking when the instructor jumped from the car. But it's not about her. It's about the boy.
Has he been skipping class again?
Claire Fletcher Skipping class? He always skips sixth period, but...
All right, Seth! Okay, take off the hat.
Go ahead.
Look at that. That's how he showed up for practice today. And that's not all. I was doing a little recon in his locker and I found this, okay? [holds up a Nazi armband, part of Seth's "Young Rolf" costume] Now if it was a girlie magazine or a hamster, fine. Boys will be boys. But this is sick.
All right, he dyed his hair. He's not a Nazi.
Claire Fletcher This is not normal. We're very concerned. [bell rings] All right, kids, why don't you get back to class? Mr. Murney, would you give me a minute? Look, I'm sure this is about their father. We've tried to get Seth and Zoe to talk to the school psychologist, but they won't. Maybe you can get through to them and see what's going on?
I'll talk to them and see what I can do.
Claire Fletcher Thanks.
