[posing as a waiter named Al Mighty]
I love that story, Noah and the Ark. You know, a lot of people miss the point of that story. They think it’s about God’s wrath and anger. They love it when God gets angry.
Joan What is the story about, then? The ark?
Well, I think it’s a love story about believing in each other. You know, the animals showed up in pairs. They stood by each other, side by side, just like Noah and his family. Everybody entered the ark side by side.
Joan But my husband says God told him to do it. What do you do with that?
Sounds like an opportunity. Let me ask you something. If one prays for patience, do you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If they pray for courage, does God give them courage, or does he give them opportunities to be courageous? If one prayed for their family to be closer, you think God zaps them with warm, fuzzy feelings? Or does he give them opportunities to love each other? Well, I got to run. A lot of people to serve. Enjoy. (Waves his arm and as he leaves Joan looks in shock to see her plate refilled without God having to leave and fill it)
Joan How are we going to do this? There is no way the five of us can finish on time. We don't have any money to hire anyone else?
Joan (A bleating behind her causes them all to look.)
Is that a llama with a hammer?
J Jordan
An alpaca. They rarely spit at people, unless frightened or abused.
[Joan looks back to Evan in amazement] [Slinging a chord on rope over his shoulder]
Let's finish this sucker.
Do we have anything unleavened?
Joan Yeah, we do. It's in the back, next to the frankincense and myrrh. We have a fancy name for it in this century. It's called pita.
Joan Evan, what is happening to you?(Evan is about to take a bite from the bread but Joan takes it from him)
Joan Don't! No! Just put it down! Look at you! The hair? Are you on something? Is it a mega-growth hormon? What?(Evan remains silent)
Joan Evan, talk to me(Evan takes a deep breath)
Joan What does that mean?
God appeared to me and told me to build an ark.He said it was going to be a flood and that I should be prepared.Whenever I shave, my beard grows right back out. My hair grows longer every day. This robe...(Joan now close to tears, looks worryingly at Evan in his robe)
God sent me the robe. He thought it would be funny.I actually think it's really comfortable, that's why I'm wearing it.
Joan (slowly, trying to hide her worry)
The beard, the robe. You're Noah?
(slightly nodding)
Yeah, kind of.(Dylan walks into the room)
Joan Not now, Noah! Dylan.
D Dylan
Okay...(He leaves the room)(Joan looks back at Evan and takes a deep breath)
Joan We left everything behind to come here. Maybe that's put to much pressure on you. I don't know. (Getting emotional) But this has got to stop! Please! You're scaring me. The boys need their father back and I need my husband back!
(She leaves the room in tears) (Evan takes a deep breath and sighs)
(Evan comes home after a disastrous Congress meeting)
Joan, I know you probably saw what happend but I can explain.(Evan sees his family standing in the hallway with packed bags).
Joan Take this stuff to the car, guys. I'll be there in a minute.
Guys?(His sons says nothing as they walk past him. Dylan sadly regards his father)(Evan looks at his wife)
Joan I'm gonna take them to my mothers. Evan, I think you need help.
(Pleading)
Joan, please. I'm not doing this it's not me, it's Him! I went to that meeting in a suit and He took it off of me. (Gesturing forwards the window) Those animals are following me because of Him.
Joan God? Does God know that He is destroying our lives? Does God know that He is going to get you fired?
Yeah! He is trying to get me fired. (Realising) He is trying to get me fired. That way I'll have even more time to work on the ark!
Joan Because the rain and the floods are coming. No, I heard you Evan. The whole world heard you! (She starts walking towards the door)
Joan, please. You gotta believe me. (At that moment rain stats splattering on the window)
There it is! It's happening! It's happening! It's raining! (He runs outside only to realise that it was only the sprinklers. Joan looks shocked at him)
Joan Goodbye, Evan
(She drives off, taking their sons away)
