Obsession (2026) quotes
24 total quotesBaron "Bear" Bailey – Michael Johnston
Ian – Cooper Tomlinson
Nikki Freeman – Inde Navarrette
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Bear: [arrives at house] Nikki? I need you to do something for meǃ [scene of a shrine] Nikki, you’ll do anything for me, right? I need you... [sees Sarah's body in rocking chair]
Nikki: I’ll do everything for you, baby. You like me better now? [taking deep, sharp breaths]
Bear: Nikki, I need you... I need you to do something for me, okay?
Nikki: [smoking] Why can’t you love me?!
Bear: Stopǃ
Nikki: Why don’t you love me?!
Bear: [Nikki smacks herself with a brick] Stop! Stop! Oh, God.
Nikki: God, I want to eat you up.
Bear: Nikki.
Ian: [banging at door] Bear, open the doorǃ I got, like, a billion dollars, dudeǃ It’s realǃ
Bear: Stop! Stop! Nikkiǃ
Ian: Bear, what’s going on?ǃ
Bear: Oh, Godǃ [sits on couch]
Nikki: I want to smell like you.
Bear: Nikki! No!
Ian: I’m coming inǃ You guys better not be doing some weird shit!
Bear: I just need you...
Ian: I’m coming in! Whoa, whoa, Nikkiǃ
Nikki: [holds pistol under jaw] I’ll kill myself, Bear!
Bear: What the... what the ****?ǃ
Nikki: I’ll kill myself right in front of you!
Bear: Nikki, what the ****?ǃ
Ian: Nikki! [Nikki instaneously shoots Ian in the head]
Nikki: I’ll rip my eyes out of my **** skull and shove the barrel in my pussy, Bear! [vomits on Bear]
Bear: I love you, I love you.
Nikki: Scream it!
Bear: I love you, I love you!
Nikki: [sits besides him] I knew you did. Oh, I knew you did.
Bear: I love you so much, baby. [breathing heavily]
Nikki: You owe me that.
Bear: It’s okay, baby. We’re gonna make this work.
Nikki: You owe me that.
Bear: I’ll make this work.
Nikki: You have to, baby.
Bear: I will, baby.
Nikki: I’m gonna heal. I’m gonna make this work.
Bear: You have to.
Nikki: I will. I’m sorry for the theatrics. I don’t know why I do that.
Bear: It’s okay, sweetie. I love you. I love you so much. I’m gonna heal.
Nikki: Uh–huh. Oh, I’m sorry.
Bear: It’s okay, baby.
Nikki: [crying] I’m gonna be pretty again.
Bear: You’re so beautiful. [whimpers] You’re the most beautiful girl in the entire world.
Nikki: Yeah?
Bear: Yeah, baby. Oh, we are gonna be together forever and ever... and ever and ever. (Bear’s breath trembling)
Nikki: What? What’s wrong, baby? You shook your head.
Bear: No, I didn’t.
Nikki: Why’d you shake your head?
Bear: I was just thinking that, uh, we should freshen up, maybe. Okay?
Nikki: Okay.
Bear: Let’s go. Come on. I know what you want.
Nikki: [Bear is in bathroom with Nikki banging at door] No! **** you, **** you! No!
Bear: Just give me a second to freshen upǃ
Nikki: Let me in!
Bear: I’m sorry!
Nikki: No! No!
Bear: Babe, I just need a second!
Nikki: **** you, Bear! Let me inǃ [rattles bathroom door handle] Bear, what are you doing?ǃ
Bear: Just one second!
Nikki: Okay. Thank you. [banging stops, Bear pants and whimpers]
Bear: Oh, shit. [holds out tiger's eye stone (a chatoyant quartz gemstone)]
Nikki: Hey, baby? I was thinking maybe we should break up.
Bear: Oh, shit.
Nikki: You hear that?
Bear: ****. ****.
Nikki: Baby, maybe we should take some space. If space is what we need, then take it.
Bear: [holds pistol to chest panting] Oh, ****. ****.
Nikki: [Bear opens medicine cabinet] It’s gonna be okayǃ [Bear takes out prescription bottle] You hear that?ǃ We can take space. [Bear takes a pill] We can take space. Baby? [Bear downs whole bottle] You hear that? [Bear attempts to initiate gag reflex unsuccessfully, then leaves bathroom to Nikki, attempts to kiss her and then collapses onto the floor] No, honey. Honey, honey. No, no...ǃ Bear! No. What did you do, Bear? No! Baby, what did you do, baby, what did you do?ǃ No! [sobs] No, no...! [holds up pistol and then changes mind]
Nikki: I’ll do everything for you, baby. You like me better now? [taking deep, sharp breaths]
Bear: Nikki, I need you... I need you to do something for me, okay?
Nikki: [smoking] Why can’t you love me?!
Bear: Stopǃ
Nikki: Why don’t you love me?!
Bear: [Nikki smacks herself with a brick] Stop! Stop! Oh, God.
Nikki: God, I want to eat you up.
Bear: Nikki.
Ian: [banging at door] Bear, open the doorǃ I got, like, a billion dollars, dudeǃ It’s realǃ
Bear: Stop! Stop! Nikkiǃ
Ian: Bear, what’s going on?ǃ
Bear: Oh, Godǃ [sits on couch]
Nikki: I want to smell like you.
Bear: Nikki! No!
Ian: I’m coming inǃ You guys better not be doing some weird shit!
Bear: I just need you...
Ian: I’m coming in! Whoa, whoa, Nikkiǃ
Nikki: [holds pistol under jaw] I’ll kill myself, Bear!
Bear: What the... what the ****?ǃ
Nikki: I’ll kill myself right in front of you!
Bear: Nikki, what the ****?ǃ
Ian: Nikki! [Nikki instaneously shoots Ian in the head]
Nikki: I’ll rip my eyes out of my **** skull and shove the barrel in my pussy, Bear! [vomits on Bear]
Bear: I love you, I love you.
Nikki: Scream it!
Bear: I love you, I love you!
Nikki: [sits besides him] I knew you did. Oh, I knew you did.
Bear: I love you so much, baby. [breathing heavily]
Nikki: You owe me that.
Bear: It’s okay, baby. We’re gonna make this work.
Nikki: You owe me that.
Bear: I’ll make this work.
Nikki: You have to, baby.
Bear: I will, baby.
Nikki: I’m gonna heal. I’m gonna make this work.
Bear: You have to.
Nikki: I will. I’m sorry for the theatrics. I don’t know why I do that.
Bear: It’s okay, sweetie. I love you. I love you so much. I’m gonna heal.
Nikki: Uh–huh. Oh, I’m sorry.
Bear: It’s okay, baby.
Nikki: [crying] I’m gonna be pretty again.
Bear: You’re so beautiful. [whimpers] You’re the most beautiful girl in the entire world.
Nikki: Yeah?
Bear: Yeah, baby. Oh, we are gonna be together forever and ever... and ever and ever. (Bear’s breath trembling)
Nikki: What? What’s wrong, baby? You shook your head.
Bear: No, I didn’t.
Nikki: Why’d you shake your head?
Bear: I was just thinking that, uh, we should freshen up, maybe. Okay?
Nikki: Okay.
Bear: Let’s go. Come on. I know what you want.
Nikki: [Bear is in bathroom with Nikki banging at door] No! **** you, **** you! No!
Bear: Just give me a second to freshen upǃ
Nikki: Let me in!
Bear: I’m sorry!
Nikki: No! No!
Bear: Babe, I just need a second!
Nikki: **** you, Bear! Let me inǃ [rattles bathroom door handle] Bear, what are you doing?ǃ
Bear: Just one second!
Nikki: Okay. Thank you. [banging stops, Bear pants and whimpers]
Bear: Oh, shit. [holds out tiger's eye stone (a chatoyant quartz gemstone)]
Nikki: Hey, baby? I was thinking maybe we should break up.
Bear: Oh, shit.
Nikki: You hear that?
Bear: ****. ****.
Nikki: Baby, maybe we should take some space. If space is what we need, then take it.
Bear: [holds pistol to chest panting] Oh, ****. ****.
Nikki: [Bear opens medicine cabinet] It’s gonna be okayǃ [Bear takes out prescription bottle] You hear that?ǃ We can take space. [Bear takes a pill] We can take space. Baby? [Bear downs whole bottle] You hear that? [Bear attempts to initiate gag reflex unsuccessfully, then leaves bathroom to Nikki, attempts to kiss her and then collapses onto the floor] No, honey. Honey, honey. No, no...ǃ Bear! No. What did you do, Bear? No! Baby, what did you do, baby, what did you do?ǃ No! [sobs] No, no...! [holds up pistol and then changes mind]
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Bear: [Ian lets Bear into house] I texted you 50 times.
Ian: Jesus Christ, Bear, what the...
Bear: So, you know how Nikki all of a sudden started...
Ian: Oh, no. Oh, sh... Is she okay?
Bear: Yes. She’s–she’s gonna be okay.
Ian: Why–why’s Sarah texting me, man? She wants me to come over to your place.
Bear: What?
Ian: She texted me over and over, like, all this weird shit.
Bear: ****.
Ian: What’s happening?ǃ
Bear: Oh, ****.
Ian: What the **** is happening?ǃ
Bear: Okay, just stay hereǃ
Ian: [stammers] Is Nikki okay?ǃ
Bear: Do not... do not come overǃ [goes outside]
Ian: Okay. Bear! Bear, tell me what the **** is happening right now!
Bear: [stops outside] ****! ****. [rushes back into house] Okay, okay, okay, so Nikki... she started liking me out of nowhere, all of a sudden, and then acting weird. Yes or no?
Ian: Bear, what the **** are you gonna tell me right now, man?ǃ
Bear: No. Ian, Ianǃ
Ian: Is she okay?ǃ
Bear: I... [holds up a One Wish Willow] I made a wish. I broke this piece of wood. At first, I didn’t think it was real. Okay? I was confused, but this is realǃ This is **** realǃ
Ian: What?ǃ What?ǃ
Bear: [sighs] Okay, okay, okay. You can make a wish, any... You... you can make one wish, and it is real and it will work. I made a wish. I–I didn’t think it would work. I wished that Nikki would love me, but it worked. Think about it, dude. Think about how she’s been acting lately. Think about how drastically she changed.
Ian: Okay, what... what did you take her to? Like, a–a-a psychic? What?
Bear: What?ǃ
Ian: What did... What, did you do a ****... Uh, what program?
Bear: No, no. ****, there’s not a **** program, Ianǃ You know, I don’t know. It’s God **** magicǃ
Ian: Is this a joke to you?ǃ
Bear: No! This is realǃ
Ian: [snatches One Wish Willow from Bear] This, this?ǃ
Bear: Yesǃ Be carefulǃ Yes, it’s real. It’s **** real, Ianǃ I made a wish, and it’s **** horribleǃ
Ian: Then make another **** wish, manǃ
Bear: No, you can’tǃ You can’tǃ Because you only get one wishǃ
Ian: Oh, you only get one. Oh, okay, yeah. That makes sense.
Bear: One wish. You only get one wish, Ian, but it’s real. It’s real, Ian. So I need you to make a wish. I need you to wish that I never made a wish. Okay? And then you can be with Nikki.
Ian: [laughs] Oh. Oh, so... so... so that...
Bear: No, no, no. Dude, no.
Ian: That’s what this is about?
Bear: I don’t even give a **** about that, dudeǃ I was gonna tell youǃ Seriously, just open the box, and then just be careful about how you word itǃ [Ian takes One Wish Willow from box] Whoa, whoa...ǃ Dude, stopǃ Okay, um, I need you to say, uh, uh, “I– I wish for my friend Baron...”
Ian: [promptly] I wish for a billion dollars.
Bear: [screams] No! [money pours down from above]
Ian: Jesus Christ, Bear, what the...
Bear: So, you know how Nikki all of a sudden started...
Ian: Oh, no. Oh, sh... Is she okay?
Bear: Yes. She’s–she’s gonna be okay.
Ian: Why–why’s Sarah texting me, man? She wants me to come over to your place.
Bear: What?
Ian: She texted me over and over, like, all this weird shit.
Bear: ****.
Ian: What’s happening?ǃ
Bear: Oh, ****.
Ian: What the **** is happening?ǃ
Bear: Okay, just stay hereǃ
Ian: [stammers] Is Nikki okay?ǃ
Bear: Do not... do not come overǃ [goes outside]
Ian: Okay. Bear! Bear, tell me what the **** is happening right now!
Bear: [stops outside] ****! ****. [rushes back into house] Okay, okay, okay, so Nikki... she started liking me out of nowhere, all of a sudden, and then acting weird. Yes or no?
Ian: Bear, what the **** are you gonna tell me right now, man?ǃ
Bear: No. Ian, Ianǃ
Ian: Is she okay?ǃ
Bear: I... [holds up a One Wish Willow] I made a wish. I broke this piece of wood. At first, I didn’t think it was real. Okay? I was confused, but this is realǃ This is **** realǃ
Ian: What?ǃ What?ǃ
Bear: [sighs] Okay, okay, okay. You can make a wish, any... You... you can make one wish, and it is real and it will work. I made a wish. I–I didn’t think it would work. I wished that Nikki would love me, but it worked. Think about it, dude. Think about how she’s been acting lately. Think about how drastically she changed.
Ian: Okay, what... what did you take her to? Like, a–a-a psychic? What?
Bear: What?ǃ
Ian: What did... What, did you do a ****... Uh, what program?
Bear: No, no. ****, there’s not a **** program, Ianǃ You know, I don’t know. It’s God **** magicǃ
Ian: Is this a joke to you?ǃ
Bear: No! This is realǃ
Ian: [snatches One Wish Willow from Bear] This, this?ǃ
Bear: Yesǃ Be carefulǃ Yes, it’s real. It’s **** real, Ianǃ I made a wish, and it’s **** horribleǃ
Ian: Then make another **** wish, manǃ
Bear: No, you can’tǃ You can’tǃ Because you only get one wishǃ
Ian: Oh, you only get one. Oh, okay, yeah. That makes sense.
Bear: One wish. You only get one wish, Ian, but it’s real. It’s real, Ian. So I need you to make a wish. I need you to wish that I never made a wish. Okay? And then you can be with Nikki.
Ian: [laughs] Oh. Oh, so... so... so that...
Bear: No, no, no. Dude, no.
Ian: That’s what this is about?
Bear: I don’t even give a **** about that, dudeǃ I was gonna tell youǃ Seriously, just open the box, and then just be careful about how you word itǃ [Ian takes One Wish Willow from box] Whoa, whoa...ǃ Dude, stopǃ Okay, um, I need you to say, uh, uh, “I– I wish for my friend Baron...”
Ian: [promptly] I wish for a billion dollars.
Bear: [screams] No! [money pours down from above]
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Bear: [Scared] Nikki, what are you doing?!
Nikki: [Emerges from kitchen brandishing a knife, stoic and monotone] Well, if I have the bed all to myself tonight, I'll lay there warm. Until slowly, I feel cold, like I walked into a freezer. My hands will feel like they're full of sand, like when you lay on them wrong. And that feeling will slowly spread across my entire body. You're still in my heart, but you're slipping. Any thought of pain or regret will slip away like a chemical switch. Even though it's quiet in the room, somehow, it gets even quieter. [Bear begins to hyperventilate, eyes tearing, terrified] It's not painful. You just let go, everything you once were, and then there's nothing. It's not darkness, no, sweetie. Darkness is a color. There's just... nothing. [Suddenly cheerful] Or you can stay!
Nikki: [Emerges from kitchen brandishing a knife, stoic and monotone] Well, if I have the bed all to myself tonight, I'll lay there warm. Until slowly, I feel cold, like I walked into a freezer. My hands will feel like they're full of sand, like when you lay on them wrong. And that feeling will slowly spread across my entire body. You're still in my heart, but you're slipping. Any thought of pain or regret will slip away like a chemical switch. Even though it's quiet in the room, somehow, it gets even quieter. [Bear begins to hyperventilate, eyes tearing, terrified] It's not painful. You just let go, everything you once were, and then there's nothing. It's not darkness, no, sweetie. Darkness is a color. There's just... nothing. [Suddenly cheerful] Or you can stay!
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Bear: [sitting at a diner table] Ever since we... You’re the only person that I’ve ever... Sorry, this is weird. I–I don’t talk like this.
Diner server: [sitting across from him] No, it’s okay.
Bear: I feel like I’m coming apart. I think about you all the time, Nikki. I try not to... you’re in every song I listen to. You were the only person who was nice to me when I moved here. And at first, I thought maybe you... Well, I realized who you are. And then, after Nana passed, you were the one that called even when I didn’t have anything to say and we just sat there. So I keep telling myself, “Don’t tell her. She’s too good. And she’ll... you’ll lose her.” But maybe you should know... that I would choose you over everything.
Diner server: Aw. [chuckles] That’s everything.
Ian: No, no. Stop. Okay, th–th–that was cringey.
Bear: Oh, my God. I knew it.
Ian: Way too much.
Bear: I– I’m so sorry.
Diner server: I thought that was sweet.
Ian: I thought it was gross.
Bear: I–I should’ve...
Ian: Okay, this time I want you...
Bear: No, I... I’m not doing it again, dude. That was so embarrassingǃ
Ian: Yeah, yeah. That would freak... Th–Th–That freaked me out. Okay? Nikki would vomitǃ
Bear: You told me to pour my heart out. Do you know how vulnerable I just got?
Ian: I underestimated you.
Diner server: What if you got her something nice?
Ian: No, no.
Bear: I’ll try that.
Ian: D–Don’t get her anything. [stammers] Dude, you got to be less... way less sappy with Nikki, okay? She doesn’t like that shitǃ She doesn’tǃ
Diner server: Flowers, the candy that she said she likes?
Ian: Okay. Thank you.
Diner server: What?
Ian: Thank you.
Diner server: You want me to go?
Ian: Yeah, if– if you want, yeah.
Diner server: Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah.
Bear: I’m sorry that... I’m sorry I made you do that.
Diner server: [pats Bear's shoulder] No. No, it’s okay. You’re okay. [walks away]
Bear: No, it–it just...
Diner server: It’s a fun break.
Bear: Just pretend like...
Ian: You’re good.
Bear: [chuckles] Oh, my God, dude, that was so embarrassing. Can we leave? Yeah, well, thank God I did it.
Ian: That was... that was awful. Thank you for that.
Diner server: [sitting across from him] No, it’s okay.
Bear: I feel like I’m coming apart. I think about you all the time, Nikki. I try not to... you’re in every song I listen to. You were the only person who was nice to me when I moved here. And at first, I thought maybe you... Well, I realized who you are. And then, after Nana passed, you were the one that called even when I didn’t have anything to say and we just sat there. So I keep telling myself, “Don’t tell her. She’s too good. And she’ll... you’ll lose her.” But maybe you should know... that I would choose you over everything.
Diner server: Aw. [chuckles] That’s everything.
Ian: No, no. Stop. Okay, th–th–that was cringey.
Bear: Oh, my God. I knew it.
Ian: Way too much.
Bear: I– I’m so sorry.
Diner server: I thought that was sweet.
Ian: I thought it was gross.
Bear: I–I should’ve...
Ian: Okay, this time I want you...
Bear: No, I... I’m not doing it again, dude. That was so embarrassingǃ
Ian: Yeah, yeah. That would freak... Th–Th–That freaked me out. Okay? Nikki would vomitǃ
Bear: You told me to pour my heart out. Do you know how vulnerable I just got?
Ian: I underestimated you.
Diner server: What if you got her something nice?
Ian: No, no.
Bear: I’ll try that.
Ian: D–Don’t get her anything. [stammers] Dude, you got to be less... way less sappy with Nikki, okay? She doesn’t like that shitǃ She doesn’tǃ
Diner server: Flowers, the candy that she said she likes?
Ian: Okay. Thank you.
Diner server: What?
Ian: Thank you.
Diner server: You want me to go?
Ian: Yeah, if– if you want, yeah.
Diner server: Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah.
Bear: I’m sorry that... I’m sorry I made you do that.
Diner server: [pats Bear's shoulder] No. No, it’s okay. You’re okay. [walks away]
Bear: No, it–it just...
Diner server: It’s a fun break.
Bear: Just pretend like...
Ian: You’re good.
Bear: [chuckles] Oh, my God, dude, that was so embarrassing. Can we leave? Yeah, well, thank God I did it.
Ian: That was... that was awful. Thank you for that.
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Bear: [to Nikki in bathroom] Hey, listen, um... Ian invited me to a-a boy's night tonight.
Nikki: [She violently turns shower water handle off inside the bathroom shower handle with a long pause] Okay...
Bear: So, I-I think I'm just gonna go to that, if that's okay with you?
Nikki: Go to a boy's night?
Bear: Yeah.
Nikki: I can get dressed and go with you.
Bear: Oh, man. That, that sounds great.
Nikki: Yeah, let me finish showering. I'll...
Bear: It's just, um, Ian said it was a boy's night. So, I think, maybe, I'll just go? [Nikki breaks something within the bathroom, screaming almost demonically] Are you okay?
Nikki: Huh, that's so weird, 'cause... Sarah was telling me that she's going.
Bear: Really?
Nikki: Okay, well, I'll just stay here, then.
Bear: I mean, if-if Sarah's coming...
Nikki: No, no, no, I'm...
Bear: No, no, you know what, I-I-I think you should come! I really want you to come!
Nikki: NO...! [Bear recoils in fear and backs away from the bathroom door] If you wanted me to come, you would have invited me. 'No...!
Nikki: [She violently turns shower water handle off inside the bathroom shower handle with a long pause] Okay...
Bear: So, I-I think I'm just gonna go to that, if that's okay with you?
Nikki: Go to a boy's night?
Bear: Yeah.
Nikki: I can get dressed and go with you.
Bear: Oh, man. That, that sounds great.
Nikki: Yeah, let me finish showering. I'll...
Bear: It's just, um, Ian said it was a boy's night. So, I think, maybe, I'll just go? [Nikki breaks something within the bathroom, screaming almost demonically] Are you okay?
Nikki: Huh, that's so weird, 'cause... Sarah was telling me that she's going.
Bear: Really?
Nikki: Okay, well, I'll just stay here, then.
Bear: I mean, if-if Sarah's coming...
Nikki: No, no, no, I'm...
Bear: No, no, you know what, I-I-I think you should come! I really want you to come!
Nikki: NO...! [Bear recoils in fear and backs away from the bathroom door] If you wanted me to come, you would have invited me. 'No...!
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Ian: Have you ever actually, like, flirted with Nikki? Invite romance.
Bear: Invite romance?
Ian: Tease her. Be playfully mean with her.
Bear: Be mean to her?
Ian: Playfully mean, yeah, but bring up Freaky Nikki.
Bear: You want me to call her Freaky Nikki? You know she’s sensitive about that.
Ian: Be like, “Hey, remember when you used to get bullied? Everybody called you Freaky Nikki?” She’ll be like, “Oh, my God. Oh, no, Bear, that was... that was so long ago. Don’t. Please.”
Bear: And that will, like, take her breath away?
Ian: Just say, “Nikki, I think we should grab a drink sometime.”
Bear: Yeah, I’ve grabbed drinks sometimes. She always invites you.
Ian: Yeah, exactly.
Bear: I asked you guys not to come to trivia for one night.
Ian: Y–You can’t ask her out at trivia, Bear. You can’t. I–I’m not gonna let you. It’s a good, organic time to ask. I love trivia night.
Bear: It’s all I have.
Ian: I wake up every Wednesday rock hard, thinking about trivia. God, I can’t get over how dumb I just looked. Y– You can’t turn our weekly gathering of camaraderie and skill i–into your, your, your seven–year–late proposal, Bear.
Bear: Then when do I ask?
Ian: Any other time. All you have is time. If she means this much to you... and I know she does... wait. Do it at the right time.
Bear: Okay. Okay, I’ll wait. I’ll do it right.
Ian: Now say it with me. All you have is time.
Bear: Invite romance?
Ian: Tease her. Be playfully mean with her.
Bear: Be mean to her?
Ian: Playfully mean, yeah, but bring up Freaky Nikki.
Bear: You want me to call her Freaky Nikki? You know she’s sensitive about that.
Ian: Be like, “Hey, remember when you used to get bullied? Everybody called you Freaky Nikki?” She’ll be like, “Oh, my God. Oh, no, Bear, that was... that was so long ago. Don’t. Please.”
Bear: And that will, like, take her breath away?
Ian: Just say, “Nikki, I think we should grab a drink sometime.”
Bear: Yeah, I’ve grabbed drinks sometimes. She always invites you.
Ian: Yeah, exactly.
Bear: I asked you guys not to come to trivia for one night.
Ian: Y–You can’t ask her out at trivia, Bear. You can’t. I–I’m not gonna let you. It’s a good, organic time to ask. I love trivia night.
Bear: It’s all I have.
Ian: I wake up every Wednesday rock hard, thinking about trivia. God, I can’t get over how dumb I just looked. Y– You can’t turn our weekly gathering of camaraderie and skill i–into your, your, your seven–year–late proposal, Bear.
Bear: Then when do I ask?
Ian: Any other time. All you have is time. If she means this much to you... and I know she does... wait. Do it at the right time.
Bear: Okay. Okay, I’ll wait. I’ll do it right.
Ian: Now say it with me. All you have is time.
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Nikki: Bear, I love you so, so, so, so, so much. I don't think I could live without you.
Bear: You love me more than anyone in the world?
Nikki: Yes, more than anyone.
Bear: You love me more than anyone in the world?
Nikki: Yes, more than anyone.
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Nikki: Bear?
Bear: I'm just getting water.
Nikki: Kill me, please.
Bear: What?
Nikki: She's sleeping. It's me.
Bear: You are you, Nikki.
Nikki: Ssh. Please, don't wake her up. Just... kill me.
Bear: [Upset] What would be so bad? What's so bad about being with me?
Nikki: I've never been with you, Bear... Just kill me, please.
[Bear walks away]
Nikki: Please, please, please, please!
Bear: I'm just getting water.
Nikki: Kill me, please.
Bear: What?
Nikki: She's sleeping. It's me.
Bear: You are you, Nikki.
Nikki: Ssh. Please, don't wake her up. Just... kill me.
Bear: [Upset] What would be so bad? What's so bad about being with me?
Nikki: I've never been with you, Bear... Just kill me, please.
[Bear walks away]
Nikki: Please, please, please, please!
View Quote
Nikki: Oh, no! No, you're supposed to like it!
[the camera pans down to reveal Bear's dead cat on the kitchen floor next to a candle and a few red flowers, flies buzzing around]
Bear: Nikki...
Nikki: It's a memorial. I...
Bear: No, it's **** up.
Nikki: Well, I don't know if it's "****", Bear.
Bear: No, it is.
Nikki: Is that... good?
Bear: Why would that be good?
[the camera pans down to reveal Bear's dead cat on the kitchen floor next to a candle and a few red flowers, flies buzzing around]
Bear: Nikki...
Nikki: It's a memorial. I...
Bear: No, it's **** up.
Nikki: Well, I don't know if it's "****", Bear.
Bear: No, it is.
Nikki: Is that... good?
Bear: Why would that be good?
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Patron: [Bear rushes into store] Jesus, dude. What the ****?
Bear: [rushes to shelf frantically searching] No, no... Oh, shit. [rushes to clerk] Um, uh, excuse me. Where are the, um, One Wish Willows?
Clerk Harry: What?
Bear: It looks like this, [holds up a box] but it’s like a... [stammers] It’s like you make a wish and you break itǃ They were right thereǃ They were over there in the cornerǃ The One Wish Willows!
Clerk Harry: What’s a One Wish Willow?
Bear: [trembling voice] No, no...
Clerk Harry: First of all, sir, don’t come in here with this. It is too early. And second of all, I’m **** with you. They’re right here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You made a shitty wish, and now you want to reverse it, but you can’t come in here with this energy, man. Did you call the number on the back?
Bear: What the **** is wrong with you?ǃ
Clerk Harry: [scoffs] Me?ǃ
Bear: How could you sell this to people?ǃ
Clerk Harry: The box is full of warnings, manǃ
Bear: **** you!
Clerk Harry: Hey, **** you, manǃ But you don’t storm in here with this energy, man.
Bear: I’m sorry. [crying] I–I... Nobody would buy it if they... I’m sorry. Oh, shit.
Clerk Harry: Oh, God. What did you do?
Bear: She’s obsessed with me.
Clerk Harry: Oh. [sighs] Well, that’s not so bad.
Bear: No, something bad happened. [sobbing] I’m sorry. I... I need to reverse it.
Clerk Harry: No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Bear: I need to reverse it.
Clerk Harry: Y– You can make a wish.
Bear: I already used my wish, man. Oh, please. Wh–What the **** do I do?
Clerk Harry: Well, maybe... maybe if someone else made a wish that contradicts your wish... I mean, maybe you could ask her. I mean, since it’s for you, she just might do it. Oh, o–or you could die. I mean, you could kill yourself. You know, I’m just spitballing here. [fading] If you ever want to jump in with any ideas...
Bear: [rushes to shelf frantically searching] No, no... Oh, shit. [rushes to clerk] Um, uh, excuse me. Where are the, um, One Wish Willows?
Clerk Harry: What?
Bear: It looks like this, [holds up a box] but it’s like a... [stammers] It’s like you make a wish and you break itǃ They were right thereǃ They were over there in the cornerǃ The One Wish Willows!
Clerk Harry: What’s a One Wish Willow?
Bear: [trembling voice] No, no...
Clerk Harry: First of all, sir, don’t come in here with this. It is too early. And second of all, I’m **** with you. They’re right here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You made a shitty wish, and now you want to reverse it, but you can’t come in here with this energy, man. Did you call the number on the back?
Bear: What the **** is wrong with you?ǃ
Clerk Harry: [scoffs] Me?ǃ
Bear: How could you sell this to people?ǃ
Clerk Harry: The box is full of warnings, manǃ
Bear: **** you!
Clerk Harry: Hey, **** you, manǃ But you don’t storm in here with this energy, man.
Bear: I’m sorry. [crying] I–I... Nobody would buy it if they... I’m sorry. Oh, shit.
Clerk Harry: Oh, God. What did you do?
Bear: She’s obsessed with me.
Clerk Harry: Oh. [sighs] Well, that’s not so bad.
Bear: No, something bad happened. [sobbing] I’m sorry. I... I need to reverse it.
Clerk Harry: No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Bear: I need to reverse it.
Clerk Harry: Y– You can make a wish.
Bear: I already used my wish, man. Oh, please. Wh–What the **** do I do?
Clerk Harry: Well, maybe... maybe if someone else made a wish that contradicts your wish... I mean, maybe you could ask her. I mean, since it’s for you, she just might do it. Oh, o–or you could die. I mean, you could kill yourself. You know, I’m just spitballing here. [fading] If you ever want to jump in with any ideas...
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Sarah: [sitting in her car] I need to tell you some things.
Bear: What?
Sarah: ****. I promised Ian I wouldn't tell you this.
Bear: Tell me what?
Sarah: Bear, Ian and Nikki have been hooking up on and off for like two years. It's super casual and not romantic. He thinks that she's dating you to get back at him. But even if she's not, it's kind of a shame, you know? I think you need someone more chill.
Bear: Like you?
Sarah: Well, I mean, I was to your left.
Bear: What?
Sarah: The game.
Bear: Oh.
Sarah: I was to your left. You were supposed to kiss me.
[Nikki runs up and slams her head into the driver's side window, shattering it, and holds a brick against the steering wheel, bashing Sarah's head against it]
Nikki: I'm so sorry you had to see that, baby. But it is kinda your fault. Just remember that you wanted this. But I'm so happy you did. I'm so happy you did, baby. Oh! No! No, no, no, no, no.
[Nikki runs around to the passenger side to comfort a shocked and blood-spattered Bear]
Nikki: Oh! No, no, no, no, no. Honey, breathe, breathe. It's okay. it's okay, honey. I got you. We need each other. We need each other, but you're gonna have to help me get rid of her body.
Bear: N-n-no.
Nikki: Yes. Yes, honey. Honey, I know. I know, I know, I know. Listen. This is all your fault; Sarah is your fault. You wanted this, you wished for this. But baby, we can fix this. I'll fix this with you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere.
Bear: What?
Sarah: ****. I promised Ian I wouldn't tell you this.
Bear: Tell me what?
Sarah: Bear, Ian and Nikki have been hooking up on and off for like two years. It's super casual and not romantic. He thinks that she's dating you to get back at him. But even if she's not, it's kind of a shame, you know? I think you need someone more chill.
Bear: Like you?
Sarah: Well, I mean, I was to your left.
Bear: What?
Sarah: The game.
Bear: Oh.
Sarah: I was to your left. You were supposed to kiss me.
[Nikki runs up and slams her head into the driver's side window, shattering it, and holds a brick against the steering wheel, bashing Sarah's head against it]
Nikki: I'm so sorry you had to see that, baby. But it is kinda your fault. Just remember that you wanted this. But I'm so happy you did. I'm so happy you did, baby. Oh! No! No, no, no, no, no.
[Nikki runs around to the passenger side to comfort a shocked and blood-spattered Bear]
Nikki: Oh! No, no, no, no, no. Honey, breathe, breathe. It's okay. it's okay, honey. I got you. We need each other. We need each other, but you're gonna have to help me get rid of her body.
Bear: N-n-no.
Nikki: Yes. Yes, honey. Honey, I know. I know, I know, I know. Listen. This is all your fault; Sarah is your fault. You wanted this, you wished for this. But baby, we can fix this. I'll fix this with you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere.
View Quote
[Bear calls One Wish Willow Customer service within his vehicle]
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Hello?
Bear: Um, hello.
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Hey, what's up?
Bear: Um, is this One Wish Willow?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Yeah.
Bear: Uh, uh, okay. Um, uh, okay. I was calling to see if there's a way I can alter a wish?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: You'd like to cancel your wish?
Bear: No! No, no. I, um, it's okay to keep the- I, I, I just want to know if I can, like, alter it a little?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: I'm sorry, we don't really do that.
Bear: No?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: If you have any questions about how the wish works, or, if you read the back of the box...
Bear: I mean, is it even real?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Yeah, it's real.
Bear: No, I know that the... Is her love real?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Just because you chose this for her doesn't make it less real.
Bear: Okay, then I would like to cancel.
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: You'd like to file a cancel request?
Bear: Yes, yeah, a cancel request.
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: We don't really do that.
Bear: What?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: We don't really do that.
Bear: You were just making it sound like I could put in a request.
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: I was just guessing your intentions, man.
Bear: What the- How- What would the- What can I do, then?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Nothing really.
Bear: So she's just **** forever?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Well, yeah, I mean, as long as you live.
Bear: As long as I live?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: If you die, the wish will go away.
Bear: You're sure there's nothing else I can do?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Yeah, I mean, as long as you live. Sounds to me like you have a moral obligation to be there for her.
Bear: Okay, but wait. She, she does this thing where she like... freaks out. What is that?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Do you want to talk to her?
Bear: What? Who?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: [Faint screaming in the background] You want to talk to her?
Bear: Who is that?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Nikki. [In the background, Nikki's screams of agony grow louder] Do you want to speak to her? [Bear panics and ends the call instead of trying to talk to her]
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Hello?
Bear: Um, hello.
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Hey, what's up?
Bear: Um, is this One Wish Willow?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Yeah.
Bear: Uh, uh, okay. Um, uh, okay. I was calling to see if there's a way I can alter a wish?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: You'd like to cancel your wish?
Bear: No! No, no. I, um, it's okay to keep the- I, I, I just want to know if I can, like, alter it a little?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: I'm sorry, we don't really do that.
Bear: No?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: If you have any questions about how the wish works, or, if you read the back of the box...
Bear: I mean, is it even real?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Yeah, it's real.
Bear: No, I know that the... Is her love real?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Just because you chose this for her doesn't make it less real.
Bear: Okay, then I would like to cancel.
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: You'd like to file a cancel request?
Bear: Yes, yeah, a cancel request.
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: We don't really do that.
Bear: What?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: We don't really do that.
Bear: You were just making it sound like I could put in a request.
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: I was just guessing your intentions, man.
Bear: What the- How- What would the- What can I do, then?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Nothing really.
Bear: So she's just **** forever?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Well, yeah, I mean, as long as you live.
Bear: As long as I live?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: If you die, the wish will go away.
Bear: You're sure there's nothing else I can do?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Yeah, I mean, as long as you live. Sounds to me like you have a moral obligation to be there for her.
Bear: Okay, but wait. She, she does this thing where she like... freaks out. What is that?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Do you want to talk to her?
Bear: What? Who?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: [Faint screaming in the background] You want to talk to her?
Bear: Who is that?
One Wish Willow Customer Service Man: Nikki. [In the background, Nikki's screams of agony grow louder] Do you want to speak to her? [Bear panics and ends the call instead of trying to talk to her]
View Quote
[Scene of Nikki at Ian's basement rec room party with Bear]
Ian: I knew you were gonna bring her. I **** knew it. She–she guilt you?
Bear: She didn’t guilt me. Shut the **** up.
Ian: You couldn’t be without her for three **** hours?
Bear: Sarah invited her. What was I supposed to do?
Ian: Sure.
Bear: You told me you weren’t going to invite Sarah.
Ian: Sarah did nothing wrong.
Bear: Neither did we.
Ian: No weird shit. [to a party guest] Hey. Keep your **** hands off my mom’s china, asshole.
Party guest Reggie: [takes jenga block] Hey. Okay, it’s my turn. [reads block] My turn. Ooh, someone’s getting **** up. Okay. “Choose someone to drink every time you do for the next three rounds.” Ah, yeah, you’re going down with this ship.
Party guest Joe: [takes jenga block] Man, here we go. Cheers. [sighs and reads block] Uh, “Switch seats with anyone.” Baron, I want to sit next to Nikki.
Group: [Joe gets up and walks over] Ooh.
Nikki: No.
Sarah Uh–oh.
Nikki: [Bear gets up] It’s okay, baby. Oh. No, it’s okay. I showered, baby.
Party guest Joe: [sitting next to Nikki] Geez, Bear, what kind of spell did you put on her? [party laughs with Nikki forcedly loud]
Nikki: So true. [laughs]
Sarah: Nikki, it’s your turn.
Nikki: Oh. [stands up and reads from phone] “The air was charged by the distinct call of a night bird. His face was obscured, “but I knew he was looking at my chest, each side stretching, recently mature, to different sizes. And so, come lie with me like the old woman taught us when we were children, I said; He closed the door and leaned against it. ‘You’re not my wife, Gretel,‘ he said. ‘I’m more than your wife. I am your sister.’ Hansel flinched and reached for the door handle. I knew he would not leave this place. He would relent and choose to be inside me like he had many nights before. If not, I would fillet his meaty forearm, roll it like a stick of licorice and insert the flesh between my legs. Hansel is my soul. A love only the branch of a willow tree could conjure. Brother, you will be inside me tonight.” New book I’m working on. I don’t have to drink. [sighs]
Reggie: It’s your turn, Joe.
Joe: I switched spots with Baron, so it’s his turn now.
Reggie: Oh, shit.
Bear: Okay. Um... [takes jenga block and reads] “Kiss the person on your left.” [a look of extreme disapproval comes over Nikki who walks behind Sarah, pulls her chair back and kneels besides Bear who kisses her]
Nikki: [softly] No one on this earth will ever comprehend what it feels like to love someone as much as I love you. [stands up and announces loudly] And everyone in this room will die never feeling the strength of connection I have felt with my Bearǃ
Ian: Nikki, are you okay?
Nikki: [giggles] I'm just kidding, guys. I'm just kidding. Heh, heh. [laughs] Come on, it's a joke. I'm just joking... okay, fine. I'm not joking. Deal with it. [Real Nikki wakes up; startling panic; falls to the floor, screaming] It's not me! It's not me! It's not me! [takes a bottle; smashes it on the table until it breaks; stabs her face with it; blood gushes; everyone panics]
Ian: I knew you were gonna bring her. I **** knew it. She–she guilt you?
Bear: She didn’t guilt me. Shut the **** up.
Ian: You couldn’t be without her for three **** hours?
Bear: Sarah invited her. What was I supposed to do?
Ian: Sure.
Bear: You told me you weren’t going to invite Sarah.
Ian: Sarah did nothing wrong.
Bear: Neither did we.
Ian: No weird shit. [to a party guest] Hey. Keep your **** hands off my mom’s china, asshole.
Party guest Reggie: [takes jenga block] Hey. Okay, it’s my turn. [reads block] My turn. Ooh, someone’s getting **** up. Okay. “Choose someone to drink every time you do for the next three rounds.” Ah, yeah, you’re going down with this ship.
Party guest Joe: [takes jenga block] Man, here we go. Cheers. [sighs and reads block] Uh, “Switch seats with anyone.” Baron, I want to sit next to Nikki.
Group: [Joe gets up and walks over] Ooh.
Nikki: No.
Sarah Uh–oh.
Nikki: [Bear gets up] It’s okay, baby. Oh. No, it’s okay. I showered, baby.
Party guest Joe: [sitting next to Nikki] Geez, Bear, what kind of spell did you put on her? [party laughs with Nikki forcedly loud]
Nikki: So true. [laughs]
Sarah: Nikki, it’s your turn.
Nikki: Oh. [stands up and reads from phone] “The air was charged by the distinct call of a night bird. His face was obscured, “but I knew he was looking at my chest, each side stretching, recently mature, to different sizes. And so, come lie with me like the old woman taught us when we were children, I said; He closed the door and leaned against it. ‘You’re not my wife, Gretel,‘ he said. ‘I’m more than your wife. I am your sister.’ Hansel flinched and reached for the door handle. I knew he would not leave this place. He would relent and choose to be inside me like he had many nights before. If not, I would fillet his meaty forearm, roll it like a stick of licorice and insert the flesh between my legs. Hansel is my soul. A love only the branch of a willow tree could conjure. Brother, you will be inside me tonight.” New book I’m working on. I don’t have to drink. [sighs]
Reggie: It’s your turn, Joe.
Joe: I switched spots with Baron, so it’s his turn now.
Reggie: Oh, shit.
Bear: Okay. Um... [takes jenga block and reads] “Kiss the person on your left.” [a look of extreme disapproval comes over Nikki who walks behind Sarah, pulls her chair back and kneels besides Bear who kisses her]
Nikki: [softly] No one on this earth will ever comprehend what it feels like to love someone as much as I love you. [stands up and announces loudly] And everyone in this room will die never feeling the strength of connection I have felt with my Bearǃ
Ian: Nikki, are you okay?
Nikki: [giggles] I'm just kidding, guys. I'm just kidding. Heh, heh. [laughs] Come on, it's a joke. I'm just joking... okay, fine. I'm not joking. Deal with it. [Real Nikki wakes up; startling panic; falls to the floor, screaming] It's not me! It's not me! It's not me! [takes a bottle; smashes it on the table until it breaks; stabs her face with it; blood gushes; everyone panics]
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[angrily] STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
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[in his vehicle struggling with One Wish Willow box] ****. [takes One Wish Willow out of box] I wish Nikki Freeman only loved me as a friend. [straining to break it] ****! ****. Oh, what the ****? God! ****! ****...