Mr. Tipton quotes from My Cousin Vinny (1992)

Mr. Tipton, when you viewed the defendants walking from their car into the Sac-O-Suds, what angle was your point of view?

Mr. Tipton

They was kind of walking towards me when they entered the store.

And when they left, what angle was your point of view?

Mr. Tipton

They was kind of walking away from me.

So would you say you got a better shot of them going in, and not so much coming out?

Mr. Tipton

You could say that.

I did say that, would you say that?

Mr. Tipton

Yeah.

Mr. Tipton, I see you wear glasses.

Mr. Tipton

Yes I do.

Could you show those glasses to the court, please? Okay, now were you wearing them that day?

Mr. Tipton

No.

Uh huh. You see? You were fifty feet away, you made a positive eyewitness identification and-and-and-and-and-and-and YET, you were not wearing your necessary, prescription eye glasses.

Mr. Tipton

They're reading glasses.

Um Mr., Um... Could you tell the court what color eyes the defendants have?

Mr. Tipton

Brown and hazel green.

How could it take you five minutes to cook your grits when it takes the entire grit-eating world 20 minutes?

Mr. Tipton

Um... I'm a fast cook, I guess.

What? I'm sorry I was over there. Did you just say you were a fast cook? Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than any place on the face of the earth?

Mr. Tipton

I don't know.

Perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove! Were these magic grits? Did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?