Kimmy
Right off, I have this monstrous favor to ask you.
Julianne
Excuse me?
Kimmy
My best friend Angelique shattered her pelvis line-dancing in Abeline over Spring Break. Be my maid of honor.
Julianne
What? Um, shouldn't you, uh, vote a bridesmaid, or, uh, someone you've known at least 45 minutes?
Kimmy
My bridemaids are my only two female relatives under the age of 40, debutante sisters from Nashville, who are basically vengeful sluts. Oh, my exit! [swerves car across road] So this means I have four days to make you my new best friend. It's time for you to force yourself to get personal!
Kimmy
I can tell you this now, but I was very worried about you.
Julianne
About me?
Kimmy
Yeah, I mean, all those stories that Michael told me were hilarious. But, I mean, all those broken relationships, all those men, it must have hurt going through so many guys and never finding the right one.
George
Hurt? She couldn't sit down for seven years, until she met teensy-weensy little me.
Kimmy
And all the while, the man of your dreams was right in front of you. [Julianne stares at Michael]
George
She's talking about me.
Julianne
Well, he's sort of wondering why you haven't told your parents that the wedding's off.
Kimmy
Well, I'm still hoping for a miracle, I suppose. I mean, how could he think that my father and I would do such a thing?
Julianne
Only a minor insight, you understand. Maybe Michael couldn't commit to this marriage so he created a delusion, produced an unconscious, psychosomatic manifestation of... I'm better with food. Okay, you're Michael, you're in a fancy french restaurant, you order... creme brulee for dessert, it's beautiful, it's sweet, it's irritatingly perfect. Suddenly, Michael realizes he doesn't want creme brulee, he wants something else.
Kimmy
What does he want?
Julianne
Jello.
Kimmy
Jello?! Why does he want jello?
Julianne
Because he's comfortable with jello, jello makes him... comfortable. I realize, compared to creme brulee it's... jello, but maybe that's what he needs.
Kimmy
I could be jello.
Julianne
No! Creme brulee can never be jello, you could never be jello.
Kimmy
I have to be jello.
Julianne
You're never gonna be jello. Now you have to come clean with your parents, because if you're waiting for that "Do you take this man" part, it's considered poor form.
