A Minecraft Movie (2025) quotes

View Quote General Chungus: [approaching the village] Hey, Steve! What's going on, dude?
Steve: Crap! Chungus.
General Chungus: I'm really sorry, but I have to unalive you and stuff.
Steve: Agh! Malgosha double-crossed me!

View Quote General Chungus: Yeah, I'm really sorry about that.
Malgosha: [groans] Bring out the beast! [a piglin whispers to her] What? What do you mean, you just have to put the brain in? Well, yes, it's a big deal. Get it done!
General Chungus: Look, everybody knows it wasn't my best day, but I'm really trying to set some new goals and... [a gate opens up with a big, brutish Piglin roaring in]
Malgosha: The Great Hog! My ultimate weapon. [the Great Hog rushes over to her] There he is! Kill him!
General Chungus: Wait, does this mean you're firing me? [The Great Hog fires his arm cannon at Chungus, reducing him to a pork chop]
Malgosha: [laughs evilly] Well done! Now find the roundlings, and bring me the orb!

View Quote Henry: Garrett, you're alive! [hugs Garrett]
Garrett: Yeah! Between us, I used Steve's water bucket trick. Pretty cool, huh?
Henry: Little bit.
Garrett: Let's get this orb and go home. [steers the Ghast through the battlefield] All right, Hank. It's fireball time. Grab that spear. I want you to jab it in the tentacles. [Henry grabs the spear and jabs the Ghast's tentacles, making it spew fireballs at the Nether portal] Whoo! Jab it! Yeah!
Henry: How'd you learn how to do that?
Garrett: Don't ask! [the fireballs destroy the Nether portal, dropping the orb while bringing day back to the overworld with the zombies burning up while the Piglins zombify]
Malgosha: [watches in horror] No! What have you done? The orb! [the orb bounces from portal near the Great Hog, who picks it up with the lead golem punching it upward, flies up to pound it on head who falls down dead, with the drop falling down]
Natalie: [the orb lands in in Natalie's hand] Yes!
Dawn: [walks forward to Garrett] It's good to see you, Garbage Man!
Garrett: Yeah, dude!

View Quote Natalie: We are so lost. My one job was to protect Henry, and I blew it! [sighs] I just promised my mom I'd never let anything happen to him. I guess I'm just not cut out for this parenting stuff. I just wish I could have been a kid for a little bit longer, you know? Just to have that feeling like I could have done anything.
Dawn: I hear you. Being a grown-up sucks. You got all these responsibilities, and you just stop chasing your dreams. You think I like having 15 hustles?

View Quote Steve: [Sees sky darkening with a pink beam shooting out of Malgosha's lair] No. No! The Great Darkening! It's begun! Malgosha's gathering all her forces! She will destroy this land! Unless... we go get that Orb!
Dawn: Well, what are we doing here? Let's go fight some pigs!
Natalie: I'm ready. I'm done with those pigs.
Henry: Yeah, me too.
Steve: Let's do it for Gar-Gar. First we mine, then we craft. Let’s Minecraft! Right! [Puts out hand in center with Henry, Natalie and Dawn complying] One, two, three! [They all whip hands up]
Natalie: Team!
Steve, Henry, and Dawn: Get the orb!
Dawn: Orb.
Steve: What are you saying?
Dawn: "Minecraft."
Steve: We should all say that! On three! One– forget it, there's no time!

View Quote Steve: Heck yeah. I got you, Gar-Gar. [Picks Garrett up] Come on.
Garrett: [Surprisedly] You... you saved my life.
Steve: That's what friends do, Garrett. [Suddenly, Henry drops down from above holding the Earth Crystal] Hank! Did you get the Earth Crystal?
Henry: Yeah, I got it.
Steve: Let's get out of this hellhole!

View Quote Steve: Hey! You sure you want to go back, Henry? It won't feel like this. There you got constraints, judgments, obstacles.
Henry: Yeah, I know. But I'm going to go make stuff anyway. [Natalie tussles Henry's hair]
Steve: I like that.
Garrett: Mmm.
Garrett: You're a brave kid.
Dawn: Steve, you still cool with this?
Steve: Yeah. [to Dennis] Come here, boy. [caresses Dennis's head] Yeah. Of course I still love you. That's why I think this is a good idea. You changed my life. It's time for you to go change hers, too. [sings] Go now, Dennis. Change Dawn’s life, Dennis. Go on a journey and think of me, Dennis. Go now, legendary wolf of my dreams. My doggy, doggy, doggy. My... Dennis. [howls melodically before crying]
Dawn: If I would've known you could sing like that, it would help me get past your smell.
Steve: [join arms in hands] Garrett, you are a truly bodacious warrior and a really good friend.
Garrett: I wish you'd come home with us. Hank’s cool, but I don't have any friends my age. We would make a great team. Vaya con Dios. It means "goodbye", brother.
Natalie: No, it doesn't.
Garrett: [turns Steve's head with finger] Don't look at her. It does.
Natalie: Are you sure you don't want to come back?
Steve: Yeah, I'm staying here. I got a bunch more stuff I want to build.
Natalie: Why don't you bring some of that magic to the real world? [they go through portal]
Steve: Screw it. I’m coming with. [enters portal]

View Quote Steve: Nice work, Gar-Gar, your little detour almost got us killed.
Garrett: Relaje, you're so dramatic. We're still alive.
Henry: [angrily] What's your problem, man?! We didn't need those stupid diamonds! I swear, you are literally the most selfish person I've ever met!
Garrett: Whatever. I need them, okay? I need the diamonds, because I need the money, because I'm broke. You wouldn't know anything about that. My life sucks, kid. All right? I'm a frickin' loser. There, I said it. I know it looks like I got it all put together, right? I'm smart, funny, bilingual. El humble to un el faultot. But that's not the reality. I'm not doing well. I'm washed up, Hank, and I'm gonna lose everything. And that's not the worst part. I'm alone.
Henry: You weren't alone. I was your friend.
Steve: Sorry about your finances.
Garrett: Shut up, Steve.

View Quote Steve: Okay, 'Goshe. Let's dance.
Malgosha: Bring it on! [Steve rushes at Malgosha who fires pink beam from staff at Steve launches himself from blocks lands a few feet away from her who uses her staff to destroy his armor]
Steve: My diamond armor! [gets out some eggs] Egg attack! [throws them at Malgosha] Frizz!
Malgosha: What is this, breakfast? [eggs spawn chickens that attack Malgosha]

View Quote Steve: Parry! Thrust! [knocks the staff out of Malgosha’s hands before pointing his sword at her] You failed, witch. The overworld lives on.
Malgosha: You, too, have fallen for the great lie. You'll never be happy. Deep down, you know. To hope, to dream, to create is to suffer.
Steve: You're right. It is harder to create than to destroy. That's why cowards tend to choose the deuce. Later, 'Goshe. Every minute knowing you has been a horror-show waste of time.
Malgosha: [tries to leave] Wait! One more thing. Come closer.
Steve: Do you have a little knife that you're gonna try to stab me with?
Malgosha: No, no, I'm too weak.
Steve: [sighs] All right. Come on!
Malgosha: It was worth a shot. [as he tries to leave] Wait, wait, let me say one more thing. Come closer.
Steve: No way!
Malgosha: No, really, it's about you.
Steve: [sighs] Fine. [walks over to Malgosha]
Malgosha: Lean down here.
Steve: [leans down, Malgosha tries to kill him with a sword, but he smacks that away, annoyedly] You really are the worst. Goodbye. [leaves]
Malgosha: This is it, really. Come back! I don't even have a knife! Where would I keep it? [Steve waves her off in disregard] Sneak attack! [finally, she faints before dying from the sunlight]

View Quote Steve: There it is. The Woodland Mansion. We're gonna get in there, get the Earth Crystal, and get you guys home. Follow me! [They follow Steve to a planning table of sticks and stones representing a map] Check this out! Let's do this! Pay close attention to Papa Steve. The Woodland Mansion has three floors. The first floor is loaded with vindicators. Axe murderers, basically.
Garrett: Why is the third floor on the first floor? I'm very confused.
Steve: I was trying to make three floors, but I didn't have time to make, like, a dollhouse. [Holds an Evoker figure] The second floor crawls with evokers. They wield powerful dark magic.
Garrett: This is the worst model I've ever seen!
Henry: Garrett, stop talking! We're trying to figure out a plan.
Garrett: Bro, how long are you gonna be mad at me for?
Henry: I just got mad at you!
Garrett: Please don't be mad at me for this, okay? But I accidentally stole the orb while you were crafting. [Holds out the orb] We cool now?
Henry: You are literally the worst person in the entire world!
Steve: Guys! Both of you, eyes on my demonstraysh! Third floor houses the loot chamber. That's where the Earth Crystal is. [Holds an Enderman figure] But it's guarded by Endermen. Whatever you do, do not look them in the eye. They'll fry your brains out!
Henry: Okay, well, I could build stairs to the second floor, sneak in through the window, and snag the Earth Crystal.
Garrett: That's a great idea, Hank.
Steve: But to pull it off, we're gonna need a pretty sweet diversion. You know what could work on these guys?
Garrett: It sounds crazy.
Steve: Hit me.

View Quote Steve: You ever wonder what happens when you mix hot lava and chicken? I did, and you're about to find out.
Garrett: Pssh.
Steve: Uh-ohh! [Flips a switch, cooking a live chicken in lava] You hear that? That’s the sound of Sizza-LEENG! Smell that smell? [Singing] La-la-la-lava. Ch-ch-ch-chicken. Steve's Lava Chicken, yeah, it's tasty as hell. Ooooh, mamacita, now you're ringing the bell. Crispy and juicy, now you're having a snack. Ooooh, super spicy, it's a lava attaaaack!
Garrett: I have a small business too, but one thing I try to do is not have my jingles suck butt.

View Quote Steve: You got this, Gar-Gar! Reach down deep! You're the Chugless kid and I love ya!
Garrett: What's going on, Steve?
Steve: It's some kind of sadistic Vindicator Fight Club! I've heard of these, but never seen one!
Garrett: They want me to fight the chicken?
Steve: It’s a fight to the death, kid! [A wooden crate lowers above the chicken before opening up to drop a baby zombie onto the back of the chicken, with it cooing before growling menacingly] Chicken Jockey!

View Quote Steve: [Wakes up with Dennis the dog licking him] Dennis? Dennis! It's you! It's really you! Gimme... [kisses Dennis] How'd you find me?!
Dawn: He's one heck of a wolf! He led us right to you guys. Now I understand why you kept yourself so filthy and smelly, so Dennis could find you one day.

View Quote [A pig wearing a crown walks by]
Henry: Whoa, is he some kind of king?
Steve: No, that's a legend.