Henry quotes from A Minecraft Movie (2025)

Henry

Whoa, is he some kind of king?

No, that's a legend.

Nice work, Gar-Gar, your little detour almost got us killed.

Relaje, you're so dramatic. We're still alive.

Henry

What's your problem, man?! We didn't need those stupid diamonds! I swear, you are literally the most selfish person I've ever met!

Whatever. I need them, okay? I need the diamonds, because I need the money, because I'm broke. You wouldn't know anything about that. My life sucks, kid. All right? I'm a frickin' loser. There, I said it. I know it looks like I got it all put together, right? I'm smart, funny, bilingual. El humble to un el faultot. But that's not the reality. I'm not doing well. I'm washed up, Hank, and I'm gonna lose everything. And that's not the worst part. I'm alone.

Henry

You weren't alone. I was your friend.

Sorry about your finances.

Shut up, Steve.

There it is. The Woodland Mansion. We're gonna get in there, get the Earth Crystal, and get you guys home. Follow me! [They follow Steve to a planning table of sticks and stones representing a map] Check this out! Let's do this! Pay close attention to Papa Steve. The Woodland Mansion has three floors. The first floor is loaded with vindicators. Axe murderers, basically.

Why is the third floor on the first floor? I'm very confused.

I was trying to make three floors, but I didn't have time to make, like, a dollhouse. [Holds an Evoker figure] The second floor crawls with evokers. They wield powerful dark magic.

This is the worst model I've ever seen!

Henry

Garrett, stop talking! We're trying to figure out a plan.

Bro, how long are you gonna be mad at me for?

Henry

I just got mad at you!

Please don't be mad at me for this, okay? But I accidentally stole the orb while you were crafting. [Holds out the orb] We cool now?

Henry

You are literally the worst person in the entire world!

Guys! Both of you, eyes on my demonstraysh! Third floor houses the loot chamber. That's where the Earth Crystal is. [Holds an Enderman figure] But it's guarded by Endermen. Whatever you do, do not look them in the eye. They'll fry your brains out!

Henry

Okay, well, I could build stairs to the second floor, sneak in through the window, and snag the Earth Crystal.

That's a great idea, Hank.

But to pull it off, we're gonna need a pretty sweet diversion. You know what could work on these guys?

It sounds crazy.

Hit me.

You'll never be as cool as me, Hank! Just give up!

The Overworld doesn't need you, Henry! Neither do I!

Hallucination Natalie

This is all your fault, Henry! Everything you do fails!

This stuff? It's trash, kid. [Throws book gets thrown into the fireplace and Henry snaps out of trance]

Henry

What the...?

Heck yeah. I got you, Gar-Gar. [Picks Garrett up] Come on.

You... you saved my life.

That's what friends do, Garrett. [Suddenly, Henry drops down from above holding the Earth Crystal] Hank! Did you get the Earth Crystal?

Henry

Yeah, I got it.

Let's get out of this hellhole!

I knew I'd find you dummies here!

It's her!

Of course it’s me, you fool! I’ve been tracking your scent from two biomes away. [Points to a new Great Hog] Check it out! I even built me a new hog!

Malgosha! Your reign is over!

You're wrong! It's just beginning!

Henry

No!

Hah!

No!

Kill them! We have work to do! Goodbye, Steve! [Laughs evilly, flies away in her hot air balloon with two hordes of Piglins approaching them on both sides with all of them carrying boxes of TNT]

No! They're going to blow this bridge sky high!

Sorry, Hank.

Henry

What? [Garrett throws Henry onto hot air balloon platform with him knocking off all Piglins]

Yeah! [Gets out a slime cube] Slime cube! [The lime cube blows up and Steve trampolines onto hot air balloon] Come on, Garrett! Jump!

I can’t, Steve! Get him out of here! Go, Hank! Save your sister and get home!

Henry

Garrett, you don't have to do this!

Tell my story in song! [Makes a sign of the horns gesture] Keep it metal. Keep it heavy. Real instruments. Besides... [puts on sunglasses] I love luaus. [Proceeds to run at Piglins kicking two and punching two] Spin kick! [Grabs one] Garbage toss! Oh, crap! [Throws one carrying a TNT box and it explodes massively with Steve and Henry flying away in hot air balloon with a leaking hole]

Henry

No!

We're going down! Brace for impact! [Hot air balloon crash lands]

No. No! The Great Darkening! It's begun! Malgosha's gathering all her forces! She will destroy this land! Unless... we go get that Orb!

Dawn

Well, what are we doing here? Let's go fight some pigs!

Natalie

I'm ready. I'm done with those pigs.

Henry

Yeah, me too.

Let's do it for Gar-Gar. First we mine, then we craft. Let’s Minecraft! Right! [Puts out hand in center with Henry, Natalie and Dawn complying] One, two, three! [They all whip hands up]

Natalie

Team!

Get the orb!

Dawn

Orb.

What are you saying?

Dawn

"Minecraft."

We should all say that! On three! One– forget it, there's no time!

Henry

Garrett, you're alive! [hugs Garrett]

Yeah! Between us, I used Steve's water bucket trick. Pretty cool, huh?

Henry

Little bit.

Let's get this orb and go home. [steers the Ghast through the battlefield] All right, Hank. It's fireball time. Grab that spear. I want you to jab it in the tentacles. [Henry grabs the spear and jabs the Ghast's tentacles, making it spew fireballs at the Nether portal] Whoo! Jab it! Yeah!

Henry

How'd you learn how to do that?

Don't ask! [the fireballs destroy the Nether portal, dropping the orb while bringing day back to the overworld with the zombies burning up while the Piglins zombify]

No! What have you done? The orb! [the orb bounces from portal near the Great Hog, who picks it up with the lead golem punching it upward, flies up to pound it on head who falls down dead, with the drop falling down]

Natalie

Yes!

Dawn

It's good to see you, Garbage Man!

Yeah, dude!

Hey! You sure you want to go back, Henry? It won't feel like this. There you got constraints, judgments, obstacles.

Henry

Yeah, I know. But I'm going to go make stuff anyway. [Natalie tussles Henry's hair]

I like that.

Mmm.

You're a brave kid.

Dawn

Steve, you still cool with this?

Yeah. [to Dennis] Come here, boy. [caresses Dennis's head] Yeah. Of course I still love you. That's why I think this is a good idea. You changed my life. It's time for you to go change hers, too. [sings] Go now, Dennis. Change Dawn’s life, Dennis. Go on a journey and think of me, Dennis. Go now, legendary wolf of my dreams. My doggy, doggy, doggy. My... Dennis. [howls melodically before crying]

Dawn

If I would've known you could sing like that, it would help me get past your smell.

Garrett, you are a truly bodacious warrior and a really good friend.

I wish you'd come home with us. Hank’s cool, but I don't have any friends my age. We would make a great team. Vaya con Dios. It means "goodbye", brother.

Natalie

No, it doesn't.

Don't look at her. It does.

Natalie

Are you sure you don't want to come back?

Yeah, I'm staying here. I got a bunch more stuff I want to build.

Natalie

Why don't you bring some of that magic to the real world? [they go through portal]

Screw it. I’m coming with. [enters portal]