Garrett quotes from A Minecraft Movie (2025)

View Quote Garrett "The Garbage Man" Garrison. Gamer of the Year, 1989. Whatever. I barely think about it.

View Quote Fear is just weakness hijacking your body's cockpit.

View Quote We’re not in Idaho anymore. I think this is Wyoming.

View Quote Listen, kid. The point is, there's no "I" in team. But there are two in winning.

View Quote Tell my story in song. Keep it metal. Keep it heavy. Real instruments.

View Quote Steve: You ever wonder what happens when you mix hot lava and chicken? I did, and you're about to find out.
Garrett: Pssh.
Steve: Uh-ohh! [Flips a switch, cooking a live chicken in lava] You hear that? That’s the sound of Sizza-LEENG! Smell that smell? [Singing] La-la-la-lava. Ch-ch-ch-chicken. Steve's Lava Chicken, yeah, it's tasty as hell. Ooooh, mamacita, now you're ringing the bell. Crispy and juicy, now you're having a snack. Ooooh, super spicy, it's a lava attaaaack!
Garrett: I have a small business too, but one thing I try to do is not have my jingles suck butt.

View Quote Steve: Nice work, Gar-Gar, your little detour almost got us killed.
Garrett: Relaje, you're so dramatic. We're still alive.
Henry: [angrily] What's your problem, man?! We didn't need those stupid diamonds! I swear, you are literally the most selfish person I've ever met!
Garrett: Whatever. I need them, okay? I need the diamonds, because I need the money, because I'm broke. You wouldn't know anything about that. My life sucks, kid. All right? I'm a frickin' loser. There, I said it. I know it looks like I got it all put together, right? I'm smart, funny, bilingual. El humble to un el faultot. But that's not the reality. I'm not doing well. I'm washed up, Hank, and I'm gonna lose everything. And that's not the worst part. I'm alone.
Henry: You weren't alone. I was your friend.
Steve: Sorry about your finances.
Garrett: Shut up, Steve.

View Quote Steve: There it is. The Woodland Mansion. We're gonna get in there, get the Earth Crystal, and get you guys home. Follow me! [They follow Steve to a planning table of sticks and stones representing a map] Check this out! Let's do this! Pay close attention to Papa Steve. The Woodland Mansion has three floors. The first floor is loaded with vindicators. Axe murderers, basically.
Garrett: Why is the third floor on the first floor? I'm very confused.
Steve: I was trying to make three floors, but I didn't have time to make, like, a dollhouse. [Holds an Evoker figure] The second floor crawls with evokers. They wield powerful dark magic.
Garrett: This is the worst model I've ever seen!
Henry: Garrett, stop talking! We're trying to figure out a plan.
Garrett: Bro, how long are you gonna be mad at me for?
Henry: I just got mad at you!
Garrett: Please don't be mad at me for this, okay? But I accidentally stole the orb while you were crafting. [Holds out the orb] We cool now?
Henry: You are literally the worst person in the entire world!
Steve: Guys! Both of you, eyes on my demonstraysh! Third floor houses the loot chamber. That's where the Earth Crystal is. [Holds an Enderman figure] But it's guarded by Endermen. Whatever you do, do not look them in the eye. They'll fry your brains out!
Henry: Okay, well, I could build stairs to the second floor, sneak in through the window, and snag the Earth Crystal.
Garrett: That's a great idea, Hank.
Steve: But to pull it off, we're gonna need a pretty sweet diversion. You know what could work on these guys?
Garrett: It sounds crazy.
Steve: Hit me.

View Quote [Steve and are performing in The Woodland Mansion]
Steve: [Rapping] Friendship is the wish you make when you're blowin' out the candles on your birthday cake!
Garrett: [Rapping] Don't be a bully, and don't be a brute! Time to put on...
Steve and Garrett: [[Rapping together] ...your birthday suit!
Steve: [Rapping] Go, Hank, go, while we blow!

View Quote Steve: You got this, Gar-Gar! Reach down deep! You're the Chugless kid and I love ya!
Garrett: What's going on, Steve?
Steve: It's some kind of sadistic Vindicator Fight Club! I've heard of these, but never seen one!
Garrett: They want me to fight the chicken?
Steve: It’s a fight to the death, kid! [A wooden crate lowers above the chicken before opening up to drop a baby zombie onto the back of the chicken, with it cooing before growling menacingly] Chicken Jockey!

View Quote [In the wrestling ring, the zombie boy leaps in the air at Garrett who pulls back the ring rope, lets it go, sending the zombie boy flying who falls to the ground crying]
Garrett: [Ashamedly] I’m sorry, little buddy.
Steve: Don't fall for it, Gar-Gar! That baby's got the heart of a demon!
Garrett: [Approaching the zombie boy] No, you're not a demon, are you? You're a cute little booger-face. I'm just gonna pet your little head. [Holds out hand and zombie boy turns and bites down on Garrett's hand who screams]

View Quote [Henry stares into the eyes of the Enderman, and he starts seeing hallucinations of his friends turning against him]
Hallucination Garrett: You'll never be as cool as me, Hank! Just give up!
Hallucination Steve: The Overworld doesn't need you, Henry! Neither do I!
Hallucination Natalie: This is all your fault, Henry! Everything you do fails!
Hallucination Garrett: [Holds up his notebook] This stuff? It's trash, kid. [Throws book gets thrown into the fireplace and Henry snaps out of trance]
Henry: What the...?

View Quote Steve: Heck yeah. I got you, Gar-Gar. [Picks Garrett up] Come on.
Garrett: [Surprisedly] You... you saved my life.
Steve: That's what friends do, Garrett. [Suddenly, Henry drops down from above holding the Earth Crystal] Hank! Did you get the Earth Crystal?
Henry: Yeah, I got it.
Steve: Let's get out of this hellhole!

View Quote [Steve, Garrett and Henry leave the mansion with Malgosha and forces arriving]
Malgosha: I knew I'd find you dummies here!
Steve: It's her!
Malgosha: Of course it’s me, you fool! I’ve been tracking your scent from two biomes away. [Points to a new Great Hog] Check it out! I even built me a new hog!
Steve: Malgosha! Your reign is over!
Malgosha: You're wrong! It's just beginning!
Henry: [Use staff to magically suck Earth Crystal from his bag to her staff] No!
Malgosha: Hah!
Steve: No!
Malgosha: [Points staff at them] Kill them! We have work to do! Goodbye, Steve! [Laughs evilly, flies away in her hot air balloon with two hordes of Piglins approaching them on both sides with all of them carrying boxes of TNT]
Steve: No! They're going to blow this bridge sky high!
Garrett: Sorry, Hank.
Henry: What? [Garrett throws Henry onto hot air balloon platform with him knocking off all Piglins]
Steve: Yeah! [Gets out a slime cube] Slime cube! [The lime cube blows up and Steve trampolines onto hot air balloon] Come on, Garrett! Jump!
Garrett: I can’t, Steve! Get him out of here! Go, Hank! Save your sister and get home!
Henry: Garrett, you don't have to do this!
Garrett: Tell my story in song! [Makes a sign of the horns gesture] Keep it metal. Keep it heavy. Real instruments. Besides... [puts on sunglasses] I love luaus. [Proceeds to run at Piglins kicking two and punching two] Spin kick! [Grabs one] Garbage toss! Oh, crap! [Throws one carrying a TNT box and it explodes massively with Steve and Henry flying away in hot air balloon with a leaking hole]
Henry: No!
Steve: We're going down! Brace for impact! [Hot air balloon crash lands]

View Quote Henry: Garrett, you're alive! [hugs Garrett]
Garrett: Yeah! Between us, I used Steve's water bucket trick. Pretty cool, huh?
Henry: Little bit.
Garrett: Let's get this orb and go home. [steers the Ghast through the battlefield] All right, Hank. It's fireball time. Grab that spear. I want you to jab it in the tentacles. [Henry grabs the spear and jabs the Ghast's tentacles, making it spew fireballs at the Nether portal] Whoo! Jab it! Yeah!
Henry: How'd you learn how to do that?
Garrett: Don't ask! [the fireballs destroy the Nether portal, dropping the orb while bringing day back to the overworld with the zombies burning up while the Piglins zombify]
Malgosha: [watches in horror] No! What have you done? The orb! [the orb bounces from portal near the Great Hog, who picks it up with the lead golem punching it upward, flies up to pound it on head who falls down dead, with the drop falling down]
Natalie: [the orb lands in in Natalie's hand] Yes!
Dawn: [walks forward to Garrett] It's good to see you, Garbage Man!
Garrett: Yeah, dude!

View Quote Steve: Hey! You sure you want to go back, Henry? It won't feel like this. There you got constraints, judgments, obstacles.
Henry: Yeah, I know. But I'm going to go make stuff anyway. [Natalie tussles Henry's hair]
Steve: I like that.
Garrett: Mmm.
Garrett: You're a brave kid.
Dawn: Steve, you still cool with this?
Steve: Yeah. [to Dennis] Come here, boy. [caresses Dennis's head] Yeah. Of course I still love you. That's why I think this is a good idea. You changed my life. It's time for you to go change hers, too. [sings] Go now, Dennis. Change Dawn’s life, Dennis. Go on a journey and think of me, Dennis. Go now, legendary wolf of my dreams. My doggy, doggy, doggy. My... Dennis. [howls melodically before crying]
Dawn: If I would've known you could sing like that, it would help me get past your smell.
Steve: [join arms in hands] Garrett, you are a truly bodacious warrior and a really good friend.
Garrett: I wish you'd come home with us. Hank’s cool, but I don't have any friends my age. We would make a great team. Vaya con Dios. It means "goodbye", brother.
Natalie: No, it doesn't.
Garrett: [turns Steve's head with finger] Don't look at her. It does.
Natalie: Are you sure you don't want to come back?
Steve: Yeah, I'm staying here. I got a bunch more stuff I want to build.
Natalie: Why don't you bring some of that magic to the real world? [they go through portal]
Steve: Screw it. I’m coming with. [enters portal]