Most scenes together: Sam Emerson & Edgar Frog (11), Alan Frog & Edgar Frog (9), Sam Emerson & Michael (7)
Lucy Emerson I can never sleep with the closet door open, either. Not even a crack. Sam, this is a terrible thing to admit, but I think that one of the reasons I divorced your father was because he never believed in the closet monster.
Talk about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
We blew it, man! We lost it!
Shut up!
We unraveled in the face of the enemy!
It's not our fault. They pulled a mind-scramble on us! They opened their eyes and talked!
Michael wants to know what's going on. Marco, what's going on?
Marko I don't know. What's going on, Paul?
Paul Wait a minute. Who wants to know?
Dwayne Michael wants to know.
Death to all vampires! Maximum body count. We are awesome monster bashers!
The meanest!
The baddest!
Read this.
I told you I don't like horror comics.
Think of it more as a survival manual. There's our number on the back and pray you never need to call us.
I'll pray I never need to call you. Sure.
We trashed the one who looks like Twisted Sister!
Totally anniliated his night-stalking ass!
We're on the right trail. Flies and the undead go together, like bullets and guns. Come on!
What's that smell?
Vampires, my friend. Vampires.
We've been aware of some very serious vampire activity in town for a long time.
Santa Carla's become a haven for the undead.
As a matter of fact, we're almost certain that ghouls and werewolves occupy high positions at City Hall.
Kill your brother, you'll feel better.
Look, guys, my brother's not a bloodsucker. Look, it says here that if you kill the head vampire, all half-vampires will return to normal. Guys, if my brother's a vampire, believe me, he's only half.
Does he know who the head vampire is?
No, I don't think so.
Then you'll have to kill him. And if you don't, then we will.
It all started when my mom went to work at Max's video store. Max never comes in till after it's dark. The dog who chased my mom this morning was his. And listen to this: "Vampires require a daytime protector, a guardian, to watch over them as they sleep. Fierce dogs, the Hounds of Hell, are often employed for this purpose."
No kidding.
Yeah? Well, what happens if my mom is dating the head vampire? You guys could nail him and save Santa Carla. "Truth, Justice, the American way" triumphs. Thanks to you two.
We'll check out Max.
We've been aware of some very serious vampire activity in town for a long time.
Santa Carla has become a haven for the undead.
As a matter of fact, we're almost certain that ghouls and werewolves occupy high position at City Hall.
Kill your brother, you'll feel better!
Where the hell are you from? Krypton?
Phoenix, actually. But lucky me, we moved...here.
Where's Nosferatu?
Who?
The Prince of Darkness.
The night crawler. The bloodsucker. El Vampiro.
Mike! They're here.
You did the right thing by calling us. Does your brother sleep a lot?
Yeah, all day.
Does the sunlight freak him out?
Uh, he wears sunglasses in the house.
Bad breath, long fingernails?
Yeah, his fingernails are a little bit longer, um, he always had bad breath though.
He's a vampire all right.
All right, here's what you do, get your self a good sharp stake and drive it right through his heart.
I can't do that, he's my brother.
Okay, we'll come over and do it for you.
No!
You'd better get yourself a garlic T-shirt, buddy, or it's your funeral.
You think you really know what's happening here, don't you? Well, I'll tell you something. You don't know shit buddy. You think we just work in a comic bookstore for our folks, huh?
Actually, I thought it was a bakery.
This is just our cover. We are dedicated to a higher purpose. We're fighters for Truth, Justice, and the American way.
Anything in here that might pass for after-shave?
How about some Windex, Grandpa?
Yeah, let me try some of that. [slaps some on] Not bad!
