Most scenes together: Sam Emerson & Edgar Frog (11), Alan Frog & Edgar Frog (9), Sam Emerson & Michael (7)
Now, on Wednesdays when the mailman brings the TV Guide sometimes the address label is curled up just a little. You'll be tempted to tear it off. Don't. You'll only wind up rippin' the cover and I don't like that. And stay outta here.
Wait, you have a TV?
No. I just like to read the TV Guide. Read the TV Guide, you don't need a TV.
Max Don't ever invite a vampire into your house, you silly boy. It renders you powerless.
Of course. Everyone knows that.
Max It was all going to be so perfect, Lucy. Just like one big happy family. Your boys. And my boys.
Great. The bloodsucking Brady Bunch.
Lucy No, he's just a deep sleeper.
If he's dead, can we go back to Phoenix?
Playin' dead. And from what I heard, doin' a damn good job of it, too.
Any jobs around here?
Nothing legal.
Grandpa, is it true that Santa Carla's the murder capital of the world?
There are some bad elements around here.
Wait a second, let me get this straight. You're telling me we've moved to the murder capital of the world? Are you serious, Grandpa?
Well, let me put it this way. If all the corpses buried around here were to stand up all at once we'd have one hell of a population problem.
I don't want you going down there, Sam.
Well, I'm going, whether you want me to or not.
Look, this isn't a comic book, Sam; these guys are brutal killers.
Oh, yeah? Well, guess what? So are the Frog Brothers! Look, who would you rather go down there with you, them or me? It's up to you.
If something happens down there, I'm not gonna have the strength to protect you.
Well, this time, I'll protect you, buddy. Even though you're a vampire, you're still my brother.
Listen! Just so you know, if you try to stop us, or vamp out in any way, then I'll stake you without even thinking twice about it, and that is something you do not want!
Chill out, Edgar.
Yeah, come on!
Where did you say you met these guys?
If something happens down there, I won't have the strength to protect you.
This time I'll protect you. Even though you're a vampire, You're still my brother.
If you try to stop us, or vamp out in any way, I'll stake you without even thinking twice about it!
Chill out, Edgar.
Yeah, come on!
Where did you say you met these guys?
Look, this isn't a comic book, Sam, these guys are brutal killers.
So are the Frog brothers!
You afraid to face me, David?
I tried to make you immortal.
You tried to make me a killer!
You are a killer! My turn. Stop fighting me, Michael. I don't want to kill you. Join us.
Never!
It is too late, my blood is in your veins.
So is mine!
Dad! Dad, are you all right?
One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach. All the damn vampires.
Paul You're mine! You killed Marko!!
Yeah, and you're next!
Paul No, you're next!
Got a problem, guys?
Just scoping your civilian wardrobe.
Pretty cool, huh?
For a fashion victim.
So where're we going?
Nowhere.
So what's the rush? You're chasing that girl aren't you? Come on, admit it. You're at the mercy of your sex glands, bud.
Stay back!
Sammy, help me! Open up! Help me! Sammy, open the window!
Never! I knew it!
I'm not!
So what are you, the flying nun?
