Spike
Who's Spike's lead blocker?
Danny O'Shea
The Icebox.
Spike
Where's he at?
Becky
Right here.
Spike
[Stunned after learning Icebox is female]
Is Spike mistaken? Aren't you a girl?
Becky
[Sarcastic]
Gee, good eye.
Spike
Spike don't play with girls
Danny O'Shea
She's pretty good, Spike.
Spike
Spike don't care. Didn't you hear? Spike don't play with-
Becky
[Becky hits Spike with ball]
I can tackle anything. Anytime. Anywhere. Got that?
Spike
Look, you berzerko Barbie doll, when you mess with Spike, you mess with death.
Becky
You can talk the talk. But can you walk the walk?
Spike
Try me!
Becky
I will!
Spike
Let's go!
Becky
Right now!
Jake "Berminator" Berman
[Puts his hands on his helmet]
Somebody call 911!
RZ Rudy Zolteck
[After Spike's been transferred to the Cowboys]
Great, now they have Spike.
Jake "Berminator" Berman
And we got nothing.
TR Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
We got us.
RH Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon
Yeah! We stink!
TR Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
'Cause you can't catch, Hot Hands.
RZ Rudy Zolteck
At least he can walk, Crush Jerk.
TR Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
Hey Zolteck, have another Pop Tart!
RH Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon
Yeah, fart boy, or can't you open your big mouth wide enough?!?
Danny O'Shea
Okay, guys, that's enough.
JF Junior Floyd
Yeah, Coach's right. Break it up.
RZ Rudy Zolteck
Oh, shut up, Junior! You're so good, it makes us sick!
JF Junior Floyd
[Pause]
Hey, you don't want me to play? No problemo. I'm outta here. [Leaves]
Becky
Nice work! If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't even have a team.
MK Marcus, the kicker
Hey, if it wasn't for him, maybe you'd stop drooling and played a little more football!
TR Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
Why can't we all just play together?
RH Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon
Oh, shut up, dipstick! You're probably the main reason Spike quit!
RZ Rudy Zolteck
Yeah, quit bawling you big baby!
TR Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
I can cry if I want! It's a free country! I can even do this! [kicks Rudy's leg]
MK Marcus, the kicker
[Coach Danny O'Shea's jaw drops in his shock] [Impressed]
Nice kick.
Danny O'Shea
[Little Giants walks away]
Guys, practice isn't over yet.
LG Little Giants
Who cares?
Danny O'Shea
This whole town may love you, but I'm the only one who knows how truly sick you are!
Kevin O'Shea
I treated you like a prince!
Danny O'Shea
You ignored me!
Kevin O'Shea
I took you to see the Cleveland Indians!
Danny O'Shea
You left me at the stadium!
Kevin O'Shea
Ahh!
Danny O'Shea
[Disguising his voice as an old lady]
State police? Oh, thank God! My name is Thelma Mae Rogers. I'm 86 years old. I live in Urbania. There are two men down the bridge from the Shell station spying on some kids! [Passes the phone to Timmy, who feign cries] We're all really scared. I just don't think it's right for men their age to be parading around in their underwear!
TM Timmy Moore
Please hurry!
Danny O'Shea
Oh, no! [Hangs up the phone] Nice job. [High fives Timmy]
Danny O'Shea
[When the Little Giants, losing at the half, want to be put on the injured list]
You know, there is something you guys should know. When I was 10 years old, I put myself on the injured list. I never got off it.
TR Timmy "Rawhide" Moore
Why?
Danny O'Shea
Because I didn't get picked a few times, so I started hiding under the bleachers.
MT Marcus "The Toe"
That's where we belong. Under the bleachers.
Danny O'Shea
No, you don't. You guys belong out there with those Cowboys. You know how I know that? Because I belong out there with my brother.
RZ Rudy Zolteck
Give us a break, coach. You could never beat Kevin O'Shea at anything!
Danny O'Shea
That's not true. I did beat him once.
Jake "Berminator" Berman
When?
Danny O'Shea
When we were kids. We used to race our bikes down Cherry Hill every day after school. We raced every day and he always beat me, but one time - one time i beat him.
Jake "Berminator" Berman:
You beat Kevin down Cherry Hill?
Danny O'Shea
Yes, I did. He ate my dust.
JV Johnny "Viper" Vennaro
Big deal. One time.
TR Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
You know, one time at Randy Cooper's swim party, I did a backflip off the high dive, and my brother chickened out.
MT Marcus "The Toe"
Roger chickened out? He's a Marine!
RZ Rudy Zolteck
Ah, that's nothing! One time at the spring carnival, I beat both of my brothers in the Cow Dung Toss.
TR Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
You beat Matt and Brad in the turd toss?
Jake "Berminator" Berman
You know, one time I went fishing with my entire family, and I was the only one that didn't throw up.
MT Marcus "The Toe"
So what? It still doesn't make us good football players.
Danny O'Shea
Well, wait a second, guys. Who said you had to be good to play football? You play football because you want to. You play football because it's fun. You play football so you and pretend you're Joe Montana throwing a touchdown pass, or Emmitt Smith going for a long run, and even if those Cowboys are better than you guys, even if they beat you 99 times out of 100, that still leaves.
TR Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson
One time.
RZ Rudy Zolteck
One time.
JF Junior Floyd
[Smiles]
Yeah...one time!
