[he trails off hoping for any positive comments]
You are so disappointing on so many levels.
Why are my pants cold and wet? [A shot of water rising in the sub] Uh...
[a wall is breached and even more water floods in]
Hull breach!
[as she tries to plug a hole]
We're falling apart at the seams! [screams] [as the submarine starts to fall apart]
This is not how Batman dies!
[Emmet screams, as the submarine fills with water Emmet starts to drown. Wyldstyle reaches for him]
Emmet! Hold on, hold on!
[the shot goes to outside the sub, red lights coming from the windows as it goes through the water as an alarm beeps faster and faster signalling a detonation]
Deep breath! [gasps] Deep breath, everybod--!!
[the sub explodes, the camera follows a floating piece of debris to the surface] [where Bad Cop and a few Micro Managers are looking around]
Micro-Managers, what's going on down there?
MM Micro-Manager
Scanning submarine wreckage. No survivors detected.
Scuba Cops? Dredge the entire ocean if you have to, we've go to find that piece, [Scuba Cops dive in the water to begin their search] let's get these prisoners back to Lord Business and give him the good news: "the Special is no more"! [they all depart from the wreckage]
: Okay. :[Emmet walks up to the platform and waves to everyone. Clears his throat] Hello, I'm Emmet. [referring to the Piece of Resistance] Oh, and this is the Piece of Resistance.
[the Master Builders cheer. Wyldstyle watches in bewilderment]
Thank you. Well, eeeeehhhh. I know that I for one am very excited to work with you guys, to get into the Octan Tower, find the Kragle and put this thing on the thing, and I know it's going to be really hard, but... [suddenly gets interrupted by another Master Builder]
REALLY HARD?! [the audience gasps] Wiping ye bum with a hook for a hand is really hard, this be impossible! The last time we tried to storm Lord Business's office, we used every plan we could conceive, the result was a massacre too terrible to speak of.
The name be Metal Beard, and I'll tell you me tale of woe.
Oh, great. Here we go again. [Metal Beard recounts his failed attempt in trying to infiltrate Lord Business's office]
I arrived at the foot of the tower with me hearty Master Builder crew, only to find the Kragle was all the way up on the infinitieth floor guarded by a robot army. And security measures of every kind imaginable, lasers, sharks, laser sharks, overbearing assistants, and strange dangerous relics that entrap, snap and zap. And there be a mysterious room called "The Think Tank." I barely made it out of that room with just me head... [Metalbeard hops out of the tower with his head and escapes on his ship as it purrs away] ...and organs! [Metalbeard's organs pop out of the Octan tower and land in his ship and it purrs away again]
I had to replace every part of my once strapping virile pirate body with this useless hunk of garbage ye see before ye. [to Emmet] So if ye think it'd be a good idea to return to that foresaken place, Special, what idea have ye that be better than the ideas of-100-of our fallen Master Builder brothers?
Well, technically I'm not exactly a Master Builder yet.
WHAT?! [the other Master Builders shout in outrage]
Please, everyone, everyone! please.
WS William Shakespeare
[throws a pizza]
Rubbish!
[addressing the Master Builders]
Yes, it's true, I may not be a Master Builder, I may not have a lot of experience fighting or leading or coming up with plans, or having ideas in general, in fact, I'm not all that smart, and I'm not what you'd call a creative type, plus, generally unskilled, also, scared and cowardly, I know what, you're thinking? "He is the least qualified person in the world to lead us!" And, you are right!
SC Swamp Creature
This is supposed to make us feel better?
What th-? No, there was about to be a but...
Gandalf You're a butt!
[Outside Cloud Cuckoo Land, Metalbeard and a few knights and cowboys are leaving]
You all be on your own! I be leaving this lost cause! [Metalbeard jumps onto his ship and sails off Cuckoo Land, as it purrs]
A house divided against itself would be better than this. [Lincoln jumps into his seat and it suddenly takes off like spaceship]
Abraham Lincoln, you bring your space chair right back here! Come on, guys! [nearly gets hit by an object] We can still do this! [another Master Builder throws a blue disc at him] Oh! Right?
MB Master Builder 1
You're not even a bit special.
[Wyldstyle, Batman and Unikitty sadly watch] [Batman whispering to Wyldstyle as they watch Emmet]
Well, you were right about him being a ding-dong. [the Master Builders continue to jeer and throw things at Emmet]
MB Master Builder 2
You're a huge disappointment!
MB Master Builder 3
[Emmet, sad and disappointed, turns and starts walking off]
Get him out of here, I don't wanna look at him!
Well, at least it can't get any worse.
Master Builder 4: Special? Not!
[A giant golf ball suddenly falls out of nowhere, destroying the Dog] :
[Emmet yells and runs away as the falling ball falls onto the ground, goes through the eye of the dog and squishes an Island Warrior Master Builder]
It's the orb of Tee-te-list.
Uh, is this Cloud Cuckoo Land? I don't see any clouds or cuckoos.
No, no. This is Middle Zealand. A wondrous land full of knights, castles, muttons, torture weapons, poverty, leeches, illiteracy, and um...
DRAGON! [the Batwing dives as a dragon swoops down]
Yeah, that too. [Batman transforms the Batwing into the Batmobile, lands the car in a forest area and drives through the woods] Once we arrive in Cloud Cuckoo Land, we'll raise an army of Master Builders...
Yeah, yeah, anyway. You guys gotta check out these new subwoofers I installed in the back; I call them The Dogs. Listen to them bark! [Batman turns on his stereo, sending heavy metal blasting through the Batmobile, making Emmet and Vitruvius bounce in the back]
Aaah! Can you turn that down a little bit?!
This is a song I wrote for Wyldstyle! [Wyldstyle smiles at Batman before singing with the song; we hear Batman's voice as he sings to the heavy metal music] Darkness! [to Emmet and Vitruvius] It's about how I'm an orphan! [the song continues] No parents!
[Wyldstyle turns to Emmet]
This is real music, Emmet. Batman's a true artist. Dark, brooding.
Well, I'm dark and brooding too! [Emmet gasps, suddenly he notices something ahead] Look, a rainbow! [as they reach the rainbow]
So, you're gonna drive up the curved part, take it all the way to the top and park the car. [The Batmobile stops, Batman drives up the rainbow and stops the car at the very top] Friends, welcome to Cloud Cuckoo Land. [An angelic chord plays as the camera pans down to the group standing in front of a rather large cloud; the rainbow disappears.] Now, I just need to give the secret knock. [he turns and knocks once with his scepter on the cloud door, after a short pause the door bursts open and as they enter inside they hear music being played and everyone is happy and dancing around.]
I'm not sure about this place and what I am supposed to do.
Hi! I am Princess Unikitty, and I welcome you all to Cloud Cuckoo Land!
[Everyone cheers]
But there are no signs or anything! How can people know what not to do?
Here in Cloud Cuckoo Land, there are no rules! There's no government, no babysitters, no bedtimes, no frowny faces, no bushy mustaches, and no negativity of any kind.
You just said the word "no" like a million times.
And there's also no consistency.
All ideas are the good ones, except the not-so-good ideas. Those that push down deep inside where you'll never, ever, ever, [angrily tone] EVER... [normal tone] find them! Your fellow Master Builders are gathered in the Dog!
FN French Narrator
Meanwhile, at the dog...
[Emmet gasps]
Is that Superman?
SO Statue of Liberty
Bonjour.
Girl, what are you doing right now?
[appears from behind Emmet]
Hey, Superman!
Oh, hey... Hey, what's up?
[fixing his mask]
Lantern. Green Lantern.
Do you wanna sit together at the meeting?
Uh, I have to, I have to go back to Krypton. [Superman quickly flies off]
[the camera pans to Vitruvius addressing the room at large]
Did didn't Krypton blow up?
My fellow Master Builders, including, but not limited to Robin Hood, Mermaid Lady, Gandalf, Swamp Creature, 1980-something Space Guy...
...2002 NBA All-Stars and Wonder Woman. You have traveled far to be here for a moment of great import. We have learned that Lord Business plans to unleash a fully weaponized Kragle on Taco Tuesday, to end the world as we know it. [the Master Builders express their shock and outrage] Please, calm yourselves. Green Ninja, Milhouse, Nice Vampire, Michelangelo, Michelangelo and Cleopatra. There is yet one hope; the Special has arisen.
Gandalf [he steps aside to reveal Emmet while hushed murmurs spread around]
Have the young man step forward.
As you wish, [says it incorrectly] Dubbledore.
Gandalf I’m Gandalf.
D Dumbledore
It's pronounced Dumbledore.
D Dumbledore
No, Dumbledore.
I thought you said Dubbledore.
Gandalf Vitruvius?!
Ah, we gotta write all that down 'cause I'm not gonna remember any of it, but here we go. The Special will now give an eloquent speech. [to Emmet] Go ahead, man, you got this.
Okay. [Emmet walks up to the platform and waves to everyone. He clears his throat] Hello, I'm Emmet. [referring to the Piece of Resistance] Oh, and this is the Piece of Resistance. [the Master Builders cheer. Wyldstyle watches in bewilderment] Thank you. Well, eeeeehhhh. I know that I, for one, am very excited to work with you guys, to get into the Octan Tower, find the Kragle and put this thing on the thing, and I know it's going to be really hard, but... [gets interrupted]
REALLY HARD?! [the audience gasps] Wiping ye bum with a hook for a hand is really hard; this be impossible! The last time we tried to storm Lord Business's office, we used every plan we could conceive. The result was a massacre too terrible to speak of.
The name be Metalbeard, and I'll tell you me tale of woe.
Oh, great. Here we go again. [Metalbeard recounts his failed attempt in trying to infiltrate Lord Business's office]
I arrived at the foot of the tower with me hearty Master Builder crew, only to find the Kragle was all the way up on the infinitieth floor, guarded by a robot army. And security measures of every kind imaginable: lasers, sharks, laser sharks, overbearing assistants, and strange, dangerous relics that entrap, snap, and zap. And there be a mysterious room called "The Think Tank". I barely made it out of that room with just me head... [Metalbeard hops out of the tower with his head and escapes on his ship as it purrs away] and organs! [Metalbeard's organs pop out of the Octan tower and land in his ship and it purrs away again]
I had to replace every part of my once strapping, virile pirate body with this useless hunk of garbage ye see before ye. So if ye think it'd be a good idea to return to that forsaken place, Special, what idea have ye that be better than the ideas of 100 of our fallen Master Builder brothers?
Well, technically I'm not exactly a Master Builder yet.
WHAT?! [The other Master Builders shout in outrage]
Please, everyone, everyone! Please.
WS William Shakespeare
[throws a pizza]
Rubbish!
[addressing the Master Builders]
Yes, it's true, I may not be a Master Builder. I may not have a lot of experience fighting or leading or coming up with plans, or having ideas in general. In fact, I'm not all that smart, and I'm not what you'd call a creative type; plus, generally unskilled, also scared and cowardly. I know what you're thinking: "He is the least qualified person in the world to lead us!" And you are right!
SC Swamp Creature
This is supposed to make us feel better?
What th-? No, there was about to be a but-
Gandalf You're a butt!
D Dumbledore
Yes. [Outside Cloud Cuckoo Land, Metalbeard and a few knights and cowboys are leaving]
You all be on your own! I be leaved this lost cause! [Metalbeard jumps onto his ship and sails off Cuckoo Land, as it purrs]
A house divided against itself would be better than this. [Lincoln jumps into his seat and it suddenly takes off like a spaceship]
Abraham Lincoln, you bring your space chair right back here! Come on, guys! [nearly gets hit by a falling object] We can [a Master Builder throws cheese at him] still do [another Master Builder throws a DVD disc at him] this! [yet another Master Builder throws a blue disc at him] Oh! Right?
MB Master Builder #1
You're not even a bit special.
[Wyldstyle, Batman and Unikitty sadly watch] [Batman whispering to Wyldstyle as they watch Emmet]
Well, you were right about him being a ding-dong. [the Master Builders continue to jeer and throw things at Emmet]
MB Master Builder #2
You're a huge disappointment!
MB Master Builder #3
[Emmet, sad and disappointed, turns and starts walking off]
Get him out of here, I don't wanna look at him!
[dolphin chirp, cat yowl]
Well, at least it can't get any worse.
MB Master Builder #4
Special? Not! [A giant golf ball suddenly falls out of nowhere, destroying the Dog.]
I was wrong. [Emmet yells and runs away as the falling ball falls onto the ground, crashes through the eye of the dog, and squishes an Island Warrior Master Builder]
It's the orb of Tee-te-list!
Ruh-roh, it's the bad guys.
Batman is the worst person I've ever met.
[suddenly, Batman appears behind them with the Millennium Falcon's hyperdrive]
Need a hyperdrive?
[Chuckling]
You really had me there!
Those guys were so lame; all they did was play space checkers, plus it turns out that hairy one's a dude, and the metal one too- all dudes.
But won't they notice their hyperdrive is missing?
HS Han Solo
[cut to the Millennium Falcon]
Come on, Chewie, hit the hyperdrive!
[Suddenly, the spaceship loses power, and is eaten by an asteroid worm; cut back to the ship]
Nah, they'll be fine.
[following Emmet's plan, the group work together to build a spaceship]
Step 1: Alright, we need a blue two-piece unit over at the... [Emmet notices Unikitty putting flowers into the spaceship] Unikitty, you're supposed to follow the instructions, remember?
[picking up a piece of Lego as they follow the instructions]
Ugh, this gives me the jeebies.
What do I even...? I-I can't...! [kicks Lego pieces in frustration]
Nice. Step 2: We pilot the ship to the service entrance so we can get past the dangerous, but also kind of cool, laser gate.
[in their spaceship they get to the Octan service gate, Batman and Benny are in the driver's seat]
Space ID.
I am here to see... your butt.
Is that last name "butt", first name "your", or is it- [Batman throws a Batarang at the Robot, decapitating him] OH, MY GOSH!
[Batman laughs then throws another Batarang at the gate button, but fails to hit it]
Pow! [throws another which still doesn't hit it] Wham! [throws another and misses again] Kezap! [he then repeatedly throws several Batarangs until it finally hits the button, making it go green.] First try! [after they enter into Octan Tower]
Step 3: We break into Lord Business's office, and we'll plunder his collection of relics for disguises.[they break into Lord Business's office and use his relics to disguise themselves] Step 4: Benny and Metalbeard will sneak their way into the Master Control Room. [as Metalbeard and Benny break into the control room]
Motion Sensors Triggered in Sector-12.
Uh-oh! [two security guard robots go to investigate, Metalbeard and Benny quickly hide as not to be detected, Metalbeard transforms into a photocopying machine.]
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? [the other robot jumps onto the photocopying machine] Do it! [the robot starts photocopying his buttocks, both laughing. Metalbeard suddenly transforms back and destroys the two robots]
Metalbeard, that was awesome!
First law of the sea: never place your rear end on a pirate's face.
Once inside, they'll use their technical know-how to disable the kragle shield. [Metalbeard and Benny get inside the control room to disable the computer]
Cool, talking computer! [Benny starts tapping into the computer] Please disable the shield systems.
Of course. There are no movies in your area with that title. [Benny grumbles as he falls onto the computer]
Step 5: Vitruvius will provide lookout to make sure we're not being followed. [Vitruvius looks through the binoculars, but as he's blind, he's unaware that he's standing in front of a wall]
Step 6: Batman and Unikitty go into the Board Room to make one last change to Lord Business's plan. [inside the Board Room Lord Business is holding a meeting]
I move that we freeze the universe. Can I get a second on that? [suddenly, Bruce Wayne enters the room]
BW Bruce Wayne
I second. Bruce Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises. [cut to the group as they are going through their plan]
Bruce Wayne?!? [chuckles] Who's that? Sounds like a cool guy. [the others, all clearly aware of who Bruce Wayne is, stare at him in silence; Wyldstyle sighs. Bruce Wayne and a disguised Unikitty enter Lord Business's Board Room]
BW Bruce Wayne
We'd like to invest in your company; your weapon to control the universe sounds super sweet, I must say.
It is indeed super sweet.
BW Bruce Wayne
Cool! What kind of sound system does it have?
Uh, sound system? Well, I mean, we have an iPod shuffle.
BW Bruce Wayne
Wait a second. You're telling me that you have a machine to control the universe and you can't listen to tunes and surround sound?
Well, I mean, we need to get that done. I want eight-foot speakers.
BW Bruce Wayne
Great call.
Yeah, I want speakers that you can hug with your arms and your legs, and just feel the beat.
[cut to Lord Business's robots instructing the captive Master Builders in the Think Tank]
Listen up! We need new instructions for a speaker system for the TAKOS!
Gandalf We'll never help-! [Suddenly, the device attached to their heads electrocutes them, and they all start coming up with the instructions] Whatever you say, boss!
Then once the instructions are printed, Wyldstyle and I will enter the Kragle room, place the thing on the other thing, and save the universe. [cut to the group having their planning meeting] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, I didn't draw that. [points to a drawing of himself, as he saves the universe] Is that me exploding?
Uh, I didn't mention that earlier: when you reunite the Piece with the Kragle, it might explode?
No! But it might not, right?
Sure, sure, sure. Just go with that.
[back at Octan Tower, Emmet and Wyldstyle disguised as a robots, deliver the speakers to the control room]
Attention everybody! Incoming Speaker Delivery! [Emmet looks in fear at the TAKO device and suddenly misses his footing and drops the speaker and THUD!... Emmet grunts and falls. The other robots look at them with suspicion] Who are you, two?
[trying to sound like a robot]
We are transfers from downstairs.
[Emmet then speaks in a pretend robot voice]
Your robot voice sounds an awful lot like a human voice?
Give me a break, I've never been a robot before.
What do you mean?! YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A ROBOT! [both Emmet and Wyldstyle gasp, and as the other robots get ready to attack them.] No, no, no! Do not listen to her!
What are your robot serial numbers?[Wyldstyle gasps and as the robots stare at them suddenly Emmet starts humming the tune to "Everything is Awesome!" then he dances and turns]
[Whispering]
Everything is awesome!
[the robots back down]
No way, this is my jam.
R2 Robot #2
This is also my jam. [the robots starts singing and dancing]
R Robots
Everything is awesome. Everything is cool when you're part of a team
[Emmet starts joining in with them, he turns to Wyldstyle indicating for her to also sing along]
I don't want to sing the song. I'm not--? [the robots suddenly get ready to attack them when Wyldstyle joins in and sings] Everything is awesome! Everything is cool when you're part of a team! Everything is awesome when you're living out a dream!
[the robots start heading in one direction, Wyldstyle and Emmet quickly sneak away] [in normal voice]
Quick, let's go. [after they get passed the robots and start climbing up a vent]
R Robots
[Singing]
Everything Is Awesome
[in normal voice] [chuckles]
I thought you didn't like that song.
Emmet, you'll... you'll think of something, right? Like you always do.
Didn't you hear him? The prophecy's made up. I'm not the Special. To think for a moment I thought I might be.
Emmet. [suddenly, Emmet hears Vitruvius's ghostly voice]
I did. [Vitruvius's ghostly form appears behind Emmet] I am ghost Vitruvius. Ooooh! [he glides over to face Emmet] Emmet, you didn't let me finish earlier because I died. The reason I made up the prophecy was because I knew that whoever found the Piece could become the Special. Because the only thing anyone needs to be special is to believe that you can be. I know that sounds like a cat poster, but it's true. Look at what you did when you believed you were special. You just need to believe it some more.
But how can I just decide to believe that I'm special, when I'm not?
Because the world depends on it. Ooooh! [the ghostly form of Vitruvius starts to glide away]
Zapping termination in thirty-five Mississippi...
Thirty-four Mississippi, thirty-three Mississippi, thirty-two Mississippi, thirty-one Mississippi, thirty Mississippi, twenty-nine Mississippi, twenty-eight Mississippi, twenty-seven Mississippi, twenty-six Mississippi, twenty-five Mississippi... [as the countdown continues, Emmet gets an idea; he manages to dislodge the battery from its holding place and rolls himself with the battery toward the broken window.]
Emmet! What are you...? [Emmet rolls himself towards the edge of the broken window and looks down into the abyss]
Whoa! [he looks back at Wyldstyle] Lucy!
Wait! What are you...? What are you...?
Now it's your turn to be the hero. [Wyldstyle realizing what Emmet is planning to do]
Twelve Mississippi, Eleven Mississippi...
See you later, alligator.
Don't! [Emmet jumps out the broken window.]
Nine Mississippi, eight Mississippi...
[gasps]
No, EMMET! [as the computer countdown continues, Emmet starts falling into the abyss]
Seven Mississippi, six Mississippi...
Five Mississippi, four Mississippi, three Mississippi, two Mississippi... [as Emmet gets nearer to the abyss, the battery he's strapped to snaps off its holder.] One Mississippi, zero, Missi- ERROR. Termination failure. [as the detonation sequence deactivates, the Master Builders are freed from their captivity]
Emmet! [She rushes over to the edge of the window and looks down into the abyss. The battery holder detached.] No... [the other Master Builders gather round]
Gandalf He... he saved us.
Well, what do we do now? There's gotta be a bright side here somewhere?
Does anyone have any ideas?
Arr, if only there were more people in the world like he? [suddenly, Wyldstyle has an idea and looks round to the screen showing the citizen of Bricksburg as they are getting glued]
