Jackass: The Movie 2002 quotes, page 2

I'm surrounded by cacti, for ****'s sake... IT'S CACTI!

It's cactus!

Whatever it is, it hurts!

If I do your hand, you'll forget about the pain in your foot.

That's a good point.

So how did a car toy get there?

Maybe you stuck it up your ass.

We're in Okinawa right now, and we're about to go swim with some whale sharks, but first...

We need to go rub one out.

I ran straight into a crocodile! Oh, my God!

Why can't you walk on a tightrope?

I dunno.

If Ryan was an animal, what would he be?

This doesn't happen in nature.

So, is there any, like, real reason, why would someone stick something like that in his ass?

No.

Whose car is this?

This is your guy's car. I rented it from you earlier.

Yes... What?

Yeah, I hit a dog.

A dog isn't gonna do all that.

Christian, mother****er!

Did you see the way I stopped the beanbag with my stomach? That's instinct. You can't teach that.

Do you have a pocket ass?

Dude they're telling me the parasites in there can **** crawl through your anything like even my dick hole, I'm like so I wanted to put like a rubber on, but no one has a rubber. Dude **** after all that pussy and my dick goes down because of this shit

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and we're about to test my rocket skates.

Hi, I'm Bunny the Lifeguard, any of these alligators try to ruin our swimming, I'm gonna wrestle them down, and probably have my way with them.

Hit me once at least. [Johnny Knoxville lightly face punches Butterbean] There ya go. [Butterbean full-on face punches Knoxville unconscious]