Johnny Knoxville
[Opening line]
Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!
A line from Johnny Knoxville
[Opening narration]
WARNING: The stunts in this movie were performed by professionals, so for your safety and the protection of those around you, do not attempt any of the stunts you're about to see.
More lines from Johnny Knoxville
19 quotes
Johnny Knoxville
Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and we're about to test my rocket skates.
Johnny Knoxville
Did you see the way I stopped the beanbag with my stomach? That's instinct. You can't teach that.
Johnny Knoxville
[After being beat up by Butterbean]
Is Butterbean OK?
Johnny Knoxville
I think I'm a little concussed.
Johnny Knoxville
[Laughing at Dave England who has soiled himself]
Oh shit, I'm taking a cab back to the hotel!
Johnny Knoxville
[Giving off camera direction to Jason "Wee-Man" Acuna]
Kick yourself in the head, wee man.
Johnny Knoxville
Do you have a pocket ass?
Johnny Knoxville
[After returning the smashed up car]
But I returned it with a full tank of gas.
Johnny Knoxville
[Referring to firework going off]
That almost hit Loomis in the face!
Johnny Knoxville
There's no such thing as failure, Steve-O!... One thing I know, is good tightrope walking!
Johnny Knoxville
You little bastard!
Johnny Knoxville
I fell and busted my ass, that's what's ****in' wrong!
Johnny Knoxville
[To Steve-O]
Go grab the dead kitty! [Later, in disbelief after Steve O exits the septic river] You're not going to save the kitty?
Johnny Knoxville
That was my flesh!
Johnny Knoxville
[To "Jewelery Burglary" skit bystander]
I was barely halfway through the ceiling and you were already out the door!
Johnny Knoxville
This is the Muscle Simulator.
Johnny Knoxville
I have bad news written all over me.
Johnny Knoxville
I'm here with Eric Koston and Clyde Singleton and today I'm gonna 50-50 this rail and... or try to.
Scenes with Johnny Knoxville
10 scenes
Angry Golfer
[After disturbing a golf game with an air horn]
Didn't I tell you I was going to come over here and kick your ass for that?
Johnny Knoxville
But... I'm sorry. I got bursitis.
Angry Golfer
You got bursitis?
Johnny Knoxville
Yeah.
Angry Golfer
So that means you gotta play with a horn?
Johnny Knoxville
It helps.
Angry Golfer
I'll give you something to play with, pal!
Johnny Knoxville
[Dazed, holding head after a golf cart skit]
I don't know what happened. I just remember we went in the air and the next thing I know, I'm just... ****.
Bam Margera
Dude, you were hauling so much ass!
Johnny Knoxville
Is this the worst you've ever had to go boom-boom?
Dave England
No, no. I shit my pants at the fair.
Johnny Knoxville
That had bad news written all over it.
Bam Margera
Dunn can't drive for shit!
April Margera
[Fanning blankets in bed]
I'm helping you, are you okay?
Johnny Knoxville
[Under blankets, clearly suffering]
No, you're just wafting Phil's ass in my nose!
Johnny Knoxville
What's the quickest you've ever knocked anyone out?
Butterbean
I hold, like, a California state record's like 18 seconds including the ten-count.
Johnny Knoxville
I think you're gonna break that today.
Rental car attendant
[Johnny Knoxville returns the badly damaged rental car]
Whose car is this?
Johnny Knoxville
This is your guy's car. I rented it from you earlier.
Rental car attendant
Yes... What?
Johnny Knoxville
Yeah, I hit a dog.
Rental car attendant
A dog isn't gonna do all that.
Jeff Tremaine
This one's gonna be a little more powerful than the last one, so...
Johnny Knoxville
Why? These are different bottle rockets?
Jeff Tremaine
No, there's just more of them.
Johnny Knoxville
What's wrong, man?
Lance Bangs
I had to sit there while he shat!
Ryan Dunn
If I do your hand, you'll forget about the pain in your foot.
Johnny Knoxville
That's a good point.