N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

View Quote [Drac and his friends are relaxing in the sauna talking to each other]
Wayne: When's that Johnny kid gonna be done party planning? He's a great hang.
Frank: Yeah, he's an animal, and it was so nice seeing Mavis laughing and hitting it off with him.
Drac: [in denial] Who's hitting what off? Please! Mavis could never be with... someone of his kind.
Frank: I'm sorry. "His kind"? Are you saying our kind's not good enough for you, "your lordship"?
Drac: No, no, no! Frank, I didn't... I meant that she wouldn't be into someone with... uh... such, red, curly hair.
Griffin: [insulted] Uh... What's wrong with red, curly hair?
Drac: Why are you getting upset?
Griffin: [angrily] I have red, curly hair!
Drac: Well, how was I supposed to know that?! [in a later scene; nervous] Look, settle down, fellas. This is all a moot point, because Johnny... He left.
Murray: [surprised] Wait a minute, he left?
Drac: Yes! He decided he didn't like Mavis, or any of us.
Johnny: [falls through the roof after having a romantic scene with Mavis, and lands on Drac's lap; Drac is scared at first, then gives him an angry glare; smiles nervously] Hi…
Frank: Hmm. I guess Johnny had second thoughts.
View Quote [Drac and Johnny are in the catacombs, and Dracula sees another door]
Drac: Oh, boy. I think this is it. [opens the door and it shows the Skeleton Wife having a shower]
Skeleton Wife: [notices them] Ahhh! What happening?
Drac: [gasps] I'm terribly sorry! Uh, my mistake!
Skeleton Husband: [bursts in] What is wrong with you people?! [throws a loofah at Dracula and closes the door]
[Drac and Johnny are still walking in the catacombs trying to find a way out]
Johnny: Oh, man, this place is amazing!
Drac: Okay, I could really use some silence right now.
View Quote [Drac just forced Johnny to leave and then he disappears]
Johnny: I can't believe I'm leaving, man. I could've been so great! Dude, you ruined everything! Suck my blood? Should've said, "I'm staying, old man!" Give him a Bruce Lee kick. Boom! Right in the f-- [a bat appears and he wails] AH! Oh, my God! Count Dracula, please, don't kill me! I'm leaving, I'm leaving! [looks up and the bat turned out to be Mavis, who is now in human form] Oh.
Mavis: [softly] Follow me.
Johnny: Oh... No, no. Mavis, I can't. I have to leave.
Mavis: You sure? It'll be fun.
Johnny: [quickly] Okay.
View Quote [Drac, in bat form, is carrying Johnny and heads out the window]
Johnny: If I put my hand in the Invisible Man's mouth, would it disappear?
Mavis: [suddenly appears] Hi!
Drac: [surprised] Mavey! Wh-what are you doing, my sweet little blood orange? Our friend was just leaving.
Johnny: Yeah, he was flying me out the window.
Drac: [nervously laughs, then takes Johnny back inside] This guy is so funny. [turns into human and moves Johnny away from the window] Oh, look there's something on your face. [to Johnny, in a soft tense tone] Play along if you ever want to see your precious backpack. [Mavis flies in through the window and turns back into her human form]
Johnny: [amazed] Whoa. So, wait, you didn't have any clothes on when you were a bat or were they bat-sized?
Mavis: [looking slightly freaked out] Who exactly is that?
Drac: [whimpers while thinking of a lie, then...] Honey bat, you see... it's your birthday, and you know, I want you to have the bestest, specialest party of your life, so… well… I... needed some help.
Mavis: You needed help?
Drac: Well, look, I am pretty good, but I thought that it would be even more bestest, specialest if someone closer to your age helped plan the party.
Mavis: [excited, to Johnny] You're my age?
Johnny: Sure! Uh, well, how old are you?
Mavis: 118.
Johnny: [hysterical] 100 and–!? [Drac elbows him] Ugh! [strained] Yeah, uh… I'm 121.
Mavis: [excited] Really?
Johnny: [nods] Mmm-hmmm.
Drac: [to Mavis] You see? Everything is very, very normal. I'm throwing a party and he is helping.
View Quote [Dracula is at the door do Mavis' bedroom]
Shrunken head: Oh, it's you. Glad you could make it.
Count Dracula: Is she up yet?
Shrunken head: Oh, she's up. She's ready to go. And by "go", I mean go. As in, go check the world out. What you gonna do? What you gonna say?
Count "Drac" Dracula: I got it covered. Please, relax. Just do your job. [opens the door] Good morning, Mavey-Wavey! Happy Birthday, my little mouse!
Mavis Dracula: [deadpan] Thank you, Dad. I know it's my birthday.
Dracula: I have so much fun planned! Whoo-hoo! But first, we go catch some scorpions together, just the 2 of us, yes, Dead-ums?
Mavis: Dad, please let me speak. There's something we have to talk about.
Drac(ula): You want to go out into the world. You can.
Mavis: Aha! I knew you were gonna say that. But, Dad, you gave me your word, you know that I know that a Dracula's word is sacred. That our trust is the core of our… Wait, what?
Drac: I said you can go.
Mavis: You're just playing with me.
Drac: No, no, no, no. You're old enough to drive a hearse now, you're old enough to make your own choices. You can go.
Mavis: Holy rabies, holy rabies! [hugs him, then rushes to the closet and packs her suitcase, turns into bat form and starts to fly out the window]
Drac: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. Wait a second, sweet fangs. Where are you going?
Mavis: Oh, well, I'm going to paradise, and this is just some stuff that I thought I would need.
Drac: Paradise?
Mavis: [turns back into human form] Yeah, you know. It's the place out there where you and Mom met. Auntie Wanda says you 2 were just like, Zing!
Drac: I don't know from Zing. Where did you find that card?
Mavis: In one of your drawers. Why won't you ever tell me about how you (and Mom) met?
Drac: It's actually Hawaii.
Mavis: [confused] Ha-what-what?
Drac: (I'll tell you later.) Look, honey. I know your excited, but everyone has gone to great lengths to come see you on your birthday.
Mavis: I know. They always do. [turns back into a bat] Aren't I getting a little old for those parties? I love them, but I really want to see new things. Maybe meet somebody my age. [begins to pout]
Drac: Come on. No, no, don't do that. Don't give me the pouty-bat face. Okay, there is a human village just a little ways past the cemetery. You could go there and be back in, like 30 minutes or so. It should be plenty for your first time.
Mavis: [sighs] Well, it's not Ha-wee-wee, but I guess it's still technically out there. Okay, okay, okay! [flies back in the window and turns back into human form and hugs her dad] Thanks for trusting me.
Drac: Of course, little one. I gave you my word.
View Quote [Frank spots Johnny and threateningly advances toward him, and Drac gets in his way]
Frankie: [points at Johnny] Who is that?
Johnny: [whispering to Drac] Are these monsters gonna kill me?
Drac: [whispering to Johnny] Not as long as they think you're a monster.
Johnny: Huh? That's kinda racist.
Drac: We'll talk later.
[Johnny is imitating Frank]
Frank: [to Drac about Johnny] Is… is he making fun of me?
Drac: No, no! Of course not, because he's... [stops Johnny from imitating]
Mavis: He's your cousin, Johnny-stein.
Drac: [playing along] Yes, yes, yes!
Frank: I don't have no cousin.
Drac: No, no, you do. He's your 6th cousin, 3 times removed.
Johnny-stein: [holds up his right arm] On your right arm's side.
Frank: [to his right arm] You have a cousin?
Drac: Frank, if your arm can talk, it would tell you that the original owner of your arm had a brother...
Johnny-stein: ...Who married a woman...
Drac: ...Who was... [makes killing gesture]
Johnny-stein: ...For strangling a pig.
Frank: I have pig strangling blood in my arm!? That's kinda cool. [to Johnny] Well, Cuz, great to meetcha. [shakes Johnny's hand, but his whole body's shaken multiple times hitting the floor]
[Mavis giggles]
Griffin: [approaches] So, what brings you here, Johnny?
Johnny: [frightened] Ahh! What was that?! (Oh, you're the Invisible Man, right?)
Griffin: Oh, sorry. I should really clear my throat before I speak. (And yes, I am, but... call me "Griffin".) Anyway, what brings you here?
Johnny: [nervous] Oh, uh... Party Planner?
Drac: [playing along] Yes! I've recruited Mister, uh... Stein here to help me with Mavis' birthday party.
Murray: Wait a minute. You asked someone to help you?
Wayne: Captain Control Freak?
Drac: It's "Count"… and yes, I thought having a Mavis contemporary would be useful.
Johnny: Yeah, he totally needed a fresher perspective. [Dracula glares at him]
Wayne: Okay, Johnny. Mr. Tight Coffin over here was planning to have these powdered lame-o's play at the party.
[Zombies sigh]
Frank: So, anyways, we thought we could liven things up a bit.
Johnny: Whoa! You all play? Let's check you guys out!
[Murray and Frank are singing]
Frank: [singing] Girl, I can't believe it's your big night
[Griffin is playing the drums]
Murray: [singing] Seems like only yesterday, you were eating mosquitos
All: [singing] But now your eating frogs and mice
Frank: [singing] Scarfing them down like Doritos
All: [singing] Tell me, where did the time go, girl?
Johnny: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, guys. Stop. That's cute, but kinda old school.
Drac: Yes, thank you, Johnny.
Johnny: You got to totally tempo things up. Here let me show you. Werewolf man, give me a jam! [Wayne gives him a "jam".] 2, 3, 4! [singing] Vampire girl with the fangy fangsHair real cute with the bangy bangsLittle princess gonna be a queenLegal bat lady turning 118, say 118!
Audience: 118!
Johnny: Yeah! Stage dive! [stage dives to the floor] Awesome!
Mavis: I'm so blown away right now!
Frank: I think my cuz is gonna make this the best party ever!
Murray: Yeah! Maybe he can find a way to get me some chicks.
Audience: We should do a dance contest.
Drac: We're not doing any of that! We've got to stay on schedule, alright?
Mavis: [to her dad] Alright, Dad! Alright. Johnny, you're coming, too?
Johnny: I don't know. Is it cool with Dracula?
All: Johnny, come with us.
View Quote [Griffin has stopped the car and the gang are noticing the monster festival going on in the town]
Frank: They like us, really?
[Griffin rolls the window down so they can talk to one of the spectators]
Drac: [to a nerd dressed like him] Excuse me. Do you know the best way to the airport?
Fake Dracula Nerd: Yes, fellow Dracula, there is only one way. Bleh, bleh-bleh. [points straight ahead to the road the crowd is on]
Drac: But it's all blocked! We'll never make it in time!
Fake Dracula Nerd: You should have left an hour earlier. Bleh, bleh-bleh.
Drac: [stick his head out of the window] I do not say "bleh, bleh-bleh"!
View Quote [Johnny crashes into Mavis, then they look into each other's eyes and they feel a zing… but Drac gets in the way.]
Drac: [concerned] Mavis, honey, are you alright?
Mavis: [dazed] Yeah, I think so. That was weird…
Johnny: [groaning] Oh, my head hurts…
Mavis: [curious] Um, who is that?
Drac: [nervous] Who is what? Oh! Oh, that? That is, uh… nobody.
Mavis: [deadpan] Seriously, Dad?
Johnny: [surprised] "Dad"!?
Mavis: Yeah, I know. Dracula's daughter. Everybody freaks out at first.
Johnny: [hysterical] Dracula!?
Drac: Okay, we gotta go. [quickly takes Johnny away, leaving Mavis completely suspicious. Drac opens the door to his bedroom]
Johnny: [screams in horror] Please, don't kill me! I'm so young! I have so many places I want to see! I've got tickets to 6 Dave Matthews Band concerts! I'm getting out of here! [opens the cellar door and a monster from off screen roars at Johnny potentially to make him scream and forcing him to go back up]
Drac: [to Johnny] Shut up, already. It's impossible for me to think with all your noise. [opens the cellar door] Sorry, Glen! Go back to sleep! [closes in and Glen roars down the bottom in reply]
View Quote [Wayne has just summoned the werewolf kids to come to the monkeys at the car and help them track down Jonathan. The pups swarm the area on a rampage, Wayne tries to control them]
Wayne: Sit! [holds up Johnny's shirt] Smell. I said, smell. [2 pups smell his butt] Not me, the shirt! The shirt!
Drac: Do any of your kids still respect you?
Wayne: Mm. Give me a second. Oh, yeah. Winnie, front and center!
[The werewolf kids are roughhousing with each other and stop abruptly to let Winnie pass through. Once she goes, they go back to their fight. Winnie spits out her pacifier and then deeply takes a whiff of Johnny's shirt]
Winnie: [sniffing] He got into a car - an '86 Fiat. It needs a little transmission work, but otherwise, okay. It drove through town to the airport, flight 497… 8:00 a.m. departure.
Drac: That's in 15 minutes!
Winnie: [sniffing] Seat 23A. He ordered the vegetarian meal.
Drac: Okay. Thank you, cutie. (We'll take it from here, alright?) [to all the other wolf pups] Now, all of you, go back to your mother!
View Quote [Wayne, Wanda, and the werewolf kids are asleep in their room. Wanda is sleeping soundly, while Wayne is just lying there with bloodshot eyes. He is surrounded by his children, who prevent him from getting proper rest by sleeping on top of him. Wayne starts to close his eyes slowly. Suddenly, the skull phone on the nightstand starts screaming, acting as an alarm. Wayne's bloodshot eyes open instantly. The werewolf kids howl and fall off of Wayne as he sits up to answer the phone]
Wayne: I didn't order a wake-up call.
Woman on the phone: Count Dracula arranged it for all the rooms.
Wayne: [hangs up and drowsily lays to his side, but the phone starts screaming once again; as he keeps lifting and putting the phone on and off the hook] Where's the snooze button?!
Skull phone: There will be no snoozing. The party is today. [continues screaming]
[Wayne clenches his ears.]
View Quote Thank you, dad. I know it's my birthday.
View Quote [about Johnny] I really liked Johnny… cousin or no. He told fun stories.
View Quote [after seeing a human dressed up as a monster] That was... trippy.
View Quote [demanding answers for her dad's lies] What was it? What exactly did you have to do?! Tell me!
View Quote [Dracula saves him from Quasimodo] Hey, thanks for saving me back there. That guy was crazy! Trying to eat me? That's only happened to me one other time, this weird dude from a Slipknot concert.