My, how the tables have turned.
How do you like the ice, kid? [he and Marv laugh, pick up Kevin and force him to walk beside them] Let's go for a little stroll in the park. Give me that bag. Give me it! Hey, these'll look great in the photo album.
You may have won the battle, Little Dude, but you've lost the war.
You ought not have messed with us, pal. We're dangerous. [pulls his varnish-covered revolver out of his pocket]
[watches the pigeons in the trees]
Harry.
Shut up! I wanna enjoy this.
Something's wrong. Let's get out of here.
Shut up, I said! [still pointing revolver at Kevin] I never made it to the sixth grade, kid, and it doesn't look like you're gonna either.
Pigeon Lady [shows up with a bucket full of birdseed]
Let him go! [Harry and Marv look at her] KEVIN, RUN! [Kevin runs away]
Shoot her! Shoot her! SHOOT HER!
[tries to do so, but his fingers are too sticky to get a grip ]
I'M TRYING TO SHOOT HER!
H Mr. Hector
We'd like to offer you a complimentary suite while you're here. It's a penthouse with a view of the park. I think you'll find it satisfactory. It was recently vacated by the Countess of Worcestershire.
What kind of hotel allows a child to check in alone?
S Mrs. Stone
The boy had a very convincing story.
What kind of idiots do you have working here?!
S Mrs. Stone
The finest in New York.
Well, I mean, when you discovered that the credit card was stolen, what...
H Mr. Hector
[proudly]
I made the discovery.
Why did you let him leave?
H Mr. Hector
When we attempted to confront him, he ran.
It's Christmas Eve, and because of you, our child is lost in one of the biggest cities in the world.
[to Cedric]
Could you take our family and our luggage up to the room, please?
Cedric Yes, sir!
H Mr. Hector
Run along, Cedric.
[to Kate]
I'm gonnna go down to the police station. I'm gonna make sure that they're doing everything in their power to find Kevin. I want you to stay here with Frank, Leslie and the kids.
No! I'm going out to look for him.
H Mr. Hector
With all due respect, madam, your son is lost in one of the biggest cities in the world.
[to Mr. Hector]
Could you stay out of this, please?
H Mr. Hector
As you wish.
Thank you. [to Kate] I don't think it's a good idea for you to start running around all over New York City all by yourself.
I think if our son can do it, I can do it.
Peter, I'll be fine. The way I'm feeling right now, no mugger or murderer would dare mess with me!
H Mr. Hector
Madam, there are hundreds of parasites out there, armed to the teeth- [Kate slaps him] Do bundle up. It's awfully cold outside.
O2 Officer #2
Oh, my God!
O1 Officer #1
All right, let's go.
O2 Officer #2
On your feet.
O1 Officer #1
You guys should have started earlier. The prisoners have already exchanged gifts.
We missed the presents? He made us hide out in a toy store so we could steal all of the kid's charity money.
[angrily kicks Marv]
Shut up, Marv!
[pigeon flies out his jacket]
AAAH!
Got the right to remain silent, ya know?
He's a little cranky. We just broke out of prison a few days ago.
[angrily kicks Marv again]
SHUT UP, MARV!!! Geez!
O1 Officer #1
Get 'em out of here.
O2 Officer #2
All right, let's go.
Remember, if this makes the papers, we're no longer the Wet Bandits! We're the Sticky Bandits! Ow! That's Sticky! That's S...
[As Duncan and a cop inspect the damage to his store, a police inspector finds Kevin's note and brick]
Well, Mr. Duncan, it's all over with. We've apprehended the thieves and we recovered your money.
Duncan Good. I wanna get that money over to the Children's Hospital as soon as possible.
Yeah, I'll handle it personally.
Duncan Ah! Thank you very much!
I Inspector
Excuse me, Mr. Duncan...
Duncan Yes.
I Inspector
[hands note to him]
I found this note. Looks like a kid broke your window.
Duncan Huh. [starts reading]
Kevin's voice: Dear Mr. Duncan, I broke your window to catch the bad guys. I'm sorry. Do you have insurance? If you don't, I'll send you some money, if I ever get back to Chicago. Merry Christmas, Kevin McCallister. P.S.: Thanks for the turtledoves.
Duncan [smiles broadly]
Turtledoves. Ohhh...
[First lines; the McCallister family are hurriedly packing for their trip to Florida]
Where are my golf balls?
Tracy Anyone seen my sun block?
Sondra What's the point of going to Florida if you're gonna put on sun block?
Megan I don't care if I age like an old suitcase, I'm getting toasted.
Great, Now, you can be a skag with a slightly darker shade of skin.
[Harry and Marv chase Kevin back to his uncle's townhouse under renovation]
Where'd he go?!
[on the roof]
I'm up here! Come and get me! [takes a picture of them]
Hold on, Pea-Brain. We got busted last time because we underestimated that little bundle of misery.
This ain't like the last time. This ain't his house. The kid's runnin' scared. He ain't got a plan.
May I do the thinking, please? [Marv gestures "go ahead"] Thank you. [calls up to Kevin] Sonny!
Nothing would thrill me more greatly than to shoot you. Knockin' off a youngster ain't gonna mean all that much to me. Understand?
But since we're in a hurry, I'll make a deal wit'cha. You throw down your camera, and we won't hurt ya. You'll never hear from us again. Okay?
I cross my heart and hope to die.
[he and Marv snicker]
Okay, kid. Give it to me! [Kevin throws the brick, hitting Marv on the forehead]
[Harry and Marv, who have escaped from prison, have arrived in New York in a fish truck]
Here we are, Marv. New York City, the Land of Opportunity. [takes a deep breath] Smell that?
[takes a deep breath]
Yeah.
It's freedom, and it's money.
Okay, okay, it's freedom.
Come on, let's get out of here before somebody sees us. [leaves the truck]
And it's fish. [follows Harry]
Yep, one quick score. We get ourselves a couple of phony passports and we hightail it to some foreign country.
Arizona? [shoves tape-covered hand into a donation kettle to steal some coins]
That's very smart, Marv. You bust out of jail to rob 14 cents from a Santy Claus?
Every little bit helps. Besides, now we got our new nickname. We're the Sticky Bandits!
[sarcastically]
Real cute. Very cute.
[In Miami, Peter picks Kevin's bag off the baggage claim carousel; it is passed from one family member to another]
This Kevin's? Give this to Kevin.
Give this... [tries to pass it to Frank, who waves her off; she passes it to Leslie instead] Give this to Kevin.
Leslie Give this to Kevin.
Tracy Give this to Kevin.
Linnie Kevin.
Rod Give this to Kevin.
Sondra Give this to Kevin.
Megan Give this to Kevin.
Jeff Give this to Kevin.
Brooke Give this to Kevin.
Fuller Here you go, Kevin. [notices the elderly couples are standing next to him instead of Kevin. He passes bag up the line] Kevin's not here.
Brooke Kevin's not here.
Jeff Kevin's not here.
Megan Kevin's not here.
Sondra Kevin's not here.
Rod Kevin's not here. [he passes the bag to Linnie, and he decided to skip Buzz]
Linnie Kevin's not here.
Tracy Kevin's not here.
Leslie Kevin's not here. [passes bag to Kate, skipping Frank]
[she gives the bag to Peter]
Kevin's not here.
[laughs, but immediately gasps in shock, then screams at the top of her lungs in alarm]
KEVIN!!!!!!!!! [faints]
[Kate approaches an NYPD patrol car stopped at a curb while looking for Kevin]
Do you have kids?
And what would you do if one of them was missing?
I'd probably be doing the same thing you're doing.
Look, put yourself in your kid's shoes. Where would you go? What would you do?
Me? I'd probably be lying dead in a gutter somewhere. Oh, but not Kevin. No. Kevin is so much stronger and braver than I am. And I know Kevin's fine. I'm sure he is. But he's still all by himself in a big city, and he doesn't deserve that. He deserves to be at home, with his own family, around his Christmas tree. [pauses in realization] Oh, dear God. I know where he is! I need to get to Rockefeller Center!
[Kate is informed by airport security that Kevin is on the run in New York] [to everyone]
We're goin' to New York, move it!
[The other McCallisters shout approval; everybody scrambles to pack]
He ran away from the hotel when they questioned him about the card. He must be so scared, Peter.
I wonder if he'd know enough to go to my brother's place.
Maybe they have a house sitter.
I thought you said they were renovating.
[Kevin, fleeing the hotel, is caught by Harry and Marv]
Come to Papa!
[grabs Kevin's plane ticket]
Ha! Round trip to Miami. What's the matter, get on the wrong plane, Squirt?
Looks like you won't be needin' this, kid. [tears it up]
American don't fly to the Promised Land, Little Buddy. [they hustle him away]
Come on. We spent nine months in jail, thinking we had the worst luck in the universe. We were wrong, little buddy.
We busted out of the clink and we're doing fine. We're gonna be doing even better, because we're not robbing houses anymore. [Harry chuckles] Now we're robbing toy stores.
[Kevin surreptitiously switches on the Talkboy in his pocket to record the conversation]
At midnight tonight, we're hitting Duncan's Toy Chest. Five floors of cash. Then after that, we get a couple of phony passports, then it's off to Rio...
What's the difference? He's not gonna talk to anybody. Except maybe a fish. Or the undertaker.
Let's just get him to the subway tunnel. I'll feel a lot better once we get him on ice. [to Kevin] I've got a gun in my pocket. You open your mouth, and you'll be spitting gum out through your forehead.
[trying to be suave again]
Well, hello. [she punches him in the face and he falls over]
[indicating Harry]
He did it!
Did what? [she punches Harry, too]
What are you doing, flirting?!
Boy Don't!
Girl Give it!
Let me see! That ain't him! Put him down, that ain't him! We should've shot him while we had the chance. I'd hate pulling a job, knowing that little creep is on the loose.
What else can he do? He's a kid. Kids are helpless.
But this time he doesn't have a house full of dangerous goodies to get us with. He's in the park. He's all alone. Kids are scared of the park.
Yeah, grown men come in the park and don't ever leave alive. Good luck, little fella.
