Heathers quotes

79 total quotes

Heather Chandler
Heather Duke
J.D.
Multiple Characters
Veronica Sawyer

View Quote How very.

View Quote [underlining words in Moby Dick] Es-ki-mo...

View Quote It's one thing to want someone out of your life, but it's another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of Liquid Drano.

View Quote [Kneeling at Heather's coffin,"praying"]Hi. I'm sorry. Technically, I did not kill Heather Chandler.. But hey, who am I trying to kid, right? I just want my High School to be a nice place... Amen... Did that sound bitchy?

View Quote Veronica: You know, I have a little prepared speech I tell my suitor when he wants more than I'd like to give him. Gee, blank, I had a really nice...
Brad: Save the speeches for Malcolm X, I just want to get laid.
Veronica: You don't deserve my ****ing speech.

View Quote Pauline Fleming: I think it's a good opportunity to share the... feelings that this suicide has spurred in all of us. Now, who would like to begin?
Tracey: I heard it was really gnarly. She sucked down a bowl of multi-purpose deodorizing disinfectant, and then SMASH.
Pauline Fleming: Now Tracey, let's not rehash the coroner's report. Let's talk emotions.

View Quote Heather McNamara: [discussing J.D., who pulled a gun on Kurt and Ram] God, they won't expel him, they'll just suspend him for a week or something.
Heather Chandler: He used a real gun. They should throw his ass in jail.
Veronica: No way. He used blanks. All J. D. really did was ruin two pairs of pants, maybe not even that. Can you bleach out urine stains?

View Quote Kurt: It'd be so righteous to be in a Veronica Sawyer-Heather Chandler sandwich. Punch it in, Ram.
Ram: Oh, hell yes. I wanna set a Heather on my Johnson and just start spinnin' her around like a goddamn pinwheel.

View Quote Tomorrow, I'll be kissing her aerobicized ass, but tonight, let me dream of a world without Heather, a world where I am free.

View Quote If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being. You'd be a game-show host.

View Quote You know what I want, babe? *shoots J.D.* Cool guys like you out of my life.

View Quote J.D.: Is your life perfect?
Veronica: I'm on my way to a party at Remington University.... No, my life's not perfect. I don't really like my friends.
J.D.: I... I don't really like your friends either.
Veronica: Well, it's just like - they're people I work with, and our job is being popular and shit.
J.D.: Maybe it's time to take a vacation.

View Quote The only place different social types can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven.

View Quote Heather, my love, there's a new sheriff in town.

View Quote [sarcastic] Intense... grow up. You think I'll drink it just because you call me chicken...? Just gimme the cup, jerk.