Hayley Stark Well, 4 out of 5 doctors agree that I am actually insane.
Played by Elliot Page 
Hard Candy (2006) · 34 quotes
Hard Candy (2006) · 34 quotes
Most-quoted character in Hard Candy (2006): in 31 of its 34 quotes
Most scenes with: Jeff Kohlver (19)
This really is one of the simplest operations you could imagine. Makes me wonder why they teach Girl Scouts things like camping and selling cookies when they could teach them something really useful like this. [pause] Then again, I wouldn't know how they would design a merit badge for this type of activity.
More lines from Hayley Stark
11 quotes Hayley Stark Hayley Stark I'm reading this book about Jean Seberg. [looks at Jeff, who shakes his head] She's this actress who slept with all the wrong people and ended up killing herself.
Hayley Stark Remember what I said about not drinking anything you didn't see made yourself? Good advice for everyone.
Hayley Stark Play time is over, Jeff. Now it’s time to wake up.
Hayley Stark I shouldn't have teased you like that. I shouldn't have let you think there was a way out of this.
Hayley Stark [holding two glasses filled with a murky, bloody fluid]
You want souvenirs? No? What should I do with them? We could see how far they bounce. Then again, some animal might decide they were his afternoon snack. Wouldn't want a little squirrel or coyote to get sick. Especially with you being such a conservationist. Maybe this would be best. Grind them up in the garbage disposal.
Hayley Stark [about Jeff's testicles]
I guess they, uh, weren't brass.
Hayley Stark You use the same phrases about Goldfrapp that they use on Amazon.com. Busted!
Hayley Stark I **** hate Goldfrapp.
Hayley Stark I'll take care of everything. [Jeff jumps. Runs after rope and looks down at now hanging Jeff] Or not.
Hayley Stark [Finding Jeff's stash of child pornography]
Oh, Jeff. This is what they make those federal laws for, Jeff. This is officially sick.
Scenes with Hayley Stark
19 scenes Hayley Stark [eating chocolate]
Mmm. This is soo good. I want more.
Don't get greedy.
Hayley Stark You really just don't look like kind of guy who needs to meet girls over the internet.
Well, I think it's better to meet people online first, sometimes. You get to know what they're like inside. When you work as a photographer you find out real quick peoples faces lie.
Hayley Stark Does my face lie?
This is some...teenage joke?
Hayley Stark Teenage, yes. Joke, no.
Those letters are mine.
Hayley Stark Nothing's yours when you invite a teenager into your home.
Ah, so you and your mom are both wacked?
Hayley Stark I dunno. That's that whole nature versus nurture question, isn't it? Was I born a cute, vindictive, little bitch or... did society make me that way? I go back and forth on that...
You were coming on to me!
Hayley Stark Oh, come on. That's what they always say, Jeff.
Who?
Hayley Stark Who? The pedophiles! 'Oh, she was so sexy. She was asking for it.' 'She was only technically a girl, she acted like a woman.' It's just so easy to blame a kid, isn't it! Just because a girl knows how to imitate a woman, does NOT mean she's ready to do what a woman does. [pause] I mean, you're the grown up here. If a kid is experimenting and says something flirtatious, you ignore it, you don't encourage it. If a kid says 'Heeey, let's make screwdrivers' you take the alcohol away and you don't race them to the next drink!
[while tied down to a chair]
Look, look. I've been lonely, okay? And that makes me stupid, but I am not a pedophile. Look, this is some horrible mistake. Just untie me now and we'll forget this whole thing ever happened. Just untie me now!
Hayley Stark Okay, well you know what? I am not lonely and therefore not stupid. I untie you, you might understandably be a little peeved. So when I am ready to go, I'll call a cab and call another one to let you loose.
And when will that be?
Hayley Stark I'm not sure yet.
It'll ruin my career... it'll ruin my life!
Hayley Stark Well, didn't Roman Polanski just win an Oscar?
You're getting yourself in terrible trouble.
Hayley Stark Oh? Oh and how's that?
If you cut me in any way you won't forget it. It changes you when you hurt somebody.
Hayley Stark Oh and you speak from experience I guess.
I've just lived. Unlike you. The things you do wrong... they haunt you.
Hayley Stark Tell me what you're haunted by.
Do you wanna remember this day when you're with a guy? On a date? Or on your wedding night? 'Cause I promise you you will. Don't do that to yourself.
Hayley Stark Wow... You know, that is so thoughtful! You are speaking to me so selflessly! I mean, you just don't want me to castrate you for my own benefit? Wow, I'm touched. Jeff, why don't we imagine someone saying the same thing to you at a random moment? Imagine that when you downloaded this little girl... I was sitting by your side saying, "Stop! Don't do that to yourself!" Would you have listened?
Hayley Stark You are good and numb, aren't you?
**** off.
Hayley Stark Your conversational skills are really deteriorating as the day goes on.
Hayley Stark Turns out castration is one of the easiest surgical procedures around. There's thousands of farmboys across the country gelding their livestock. If they can do it, I think I can pull it off. If you know what I mean.
I'm not **** livestock.
Hayley Stark You keep telling yourself that, stud.
Why don’t you just kill me?
Hayley Stark Is that what you think I want?
Isn't it?
Hayley Stark We gotta get this show on the road.
A teen doesn’t do this.
Hayley Stark I’ve seen your idea of what teens should do.
Hayley Stark Well if Denise was here right now, what would you say?
I'd say, "Help... a teenager cut my balls off. Call the police."
Which do you wanna **** first, me or the knife? [as Hayley raises gun] Oh you know how to use that huh?
Hayley Stark [**** the gun]
Honor student, remember? Nothing I can't do when I put my mind to it.
What? You're gonna shoot me? Shoot me, SHOOT ME, you're not gonna shoot me!
Who the hell are you?
Hayley Stark I am every little girl you ever watched, touched, hurt, screwed, killed.
[shakes his head weakly as he awakes from a drug induced stupor]
Why, uhh, why do I get, tied up first if, if this is how we're gonna play?
Hayley Stark Jeff, playtime is over... Now it's time to wake up.
Look, I'm not the monster you think I am. But, okay, I crossed a line. Just call the cops. I'll turn myself in.
Hayley Stark [as if narrating a headline]
"Cute Pedophile Pleads Guilty. Aww, it's not his fault. He's sick. He has an addiction."
I'll do jail. Isn't, isn't that what should happen?
Hayley Stark Yeah. You might. You might get jail time. I dunno: therapy, drugs, group discussions, notifying people when you move into a new house. How bad is that, really?
It'll ruin my career, ruin my life.
Hayley Stark Well, didn't Roman Polanski just win an Oscar?
I'm not going to beg you.
Hayley Stark You mean you're not going to beg again? Because you do it so well. "Please, pretty please with a cherry on top!"... One that you just had to pop.
