Duck Soup (1933) · 49 quotes
Tied for 5th most-quoted character in Duck Soup (1933): in 3 of its 49 quotes
Most scenes with: Rufus T. Firefly (3), Chicolini (3)
Prosecutor Chicolini, you're charged with high treason. And if found guilty, you'll be shot.
I object.
Prosecutor You object. On what grounds?
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Objection sustained.
Prosecutor Your Excellency? You sustained the objection?
Sure. I couldn't think of anything else to say either. Why don't you object?
Prosecutor Chicolini, when were you born?
I don't remember. I was just a little baby.
Chicolini, give me a number from one to ten.
Eleven.
Right.
Now I aska you one. What is it has a trunk, but no key, weighs 2,000 pounds and lives in the circus?
Prosecutor That's irrelevant.
Irr-elephant? Hey, that's the answer! There's a whole lotta irr-elephants in the circus.
That sort of testimony we can eliminate.
Thats-a fine. I'll take some.
You'll take what?
Eliminate. A nice, cool glass o' lemonade.
Prosecutor Chicolini, isn't it true you sold Freedonia's secret war code and plans?
Sure, I sold a code and two pairs o' plans. Hahaha! 'At's-a some joke, eh boss?
Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot. I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth or eleven years in Twelveworth.
I tell you what I'll do. I'll take five and ten in Woolworth.
