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Desperate Living

Desperate Living quotes

31 total quotes

Grizelda Brown
Peggy Gravel
Queen Carlotta

Flipper: You lazy bitch! I'm out working my tail off all day and you're in there ****ing midgets!

Officer: You like lingerie?! How do you like these little numbers? I sent away to 'em from Fredrick's. They was expensive. I love the feel of cold nylon on my big butt!

Princess Coo-coo: Herbert doesn't care if I have ears, he only cares about my mind!

Grizelda: We killed your husband, and I ain't your maid any more, bitch! I'm yo sister in crime!
Peggy: Please, don't sit on me!

Muffy's Friend: Holy shit Mole, what happened to you?!
Mole: Oh, Muffy just gave me an abortion.

Muffy: Sometimes I need a man.
Mole: I'm a man, Muffy! A man trapped in a woman's body!

Peggy: We were raped! Please, give us shelter!
Mole: You were raped?!

Peggy: You obviously belong in a mental hospital!
Grizelda: Look who's calling the kettle black! She's just upset, now be easy on her!
Peggy: I will not! I don't want some renegade necrophile princess as my roommate!

Princess Coo-Coo: Herbert!
Herbert: Coo-Coo, Coo-coo! Oh, Coo, I worship the ground you walk on. I couldn't keep my mind on my work all morning. Every piece of trash I had to pick up reminded me of you! An old candy wrapper made me think of how sweet you are. A snotty Kleenex made me realize how much I'd cry if we ever had to part. An old rubber made me think of all the nights of eros we have before us. I love you, Coo-coo.
Princess Coo-coo: Oh Herbert, I masturbated fourteen times last night just thinking of you, and when I finally did fall asleep, my dreams were not exactly dry. Take me now, Herbert! Take me in front of the whole town!

[a baseball breaks the bedroom window, where outside children are playing the sport]
Peggy: I knew they'd try it! Try to kill me in my own home! It's like war! Don't tell me I don't know what Vietnam is like! [opens the window] Brats! Brats! Brats!
Child: Oh, I'm sorry Mrs. Gravel. I'll pay for the window out of my allowance.
Peggy: How about my LIFE? Do you get enough allowance to pay for that?! I know you were trying to kill me! What's the matter with the courts? Do they allow this lawlesness and malicious destruction of property to run rampant? I HATE THE SUPREME COURT! [moves away from the window in a rage and throws a vase, breaking it, then moves back to the window] Go home to your mother! Doesn't she ever watch you? Tell her this isn't some communist day-care center! Tell your mother I hate her! Tell your mother I HATE YOU!

Am I living in hell?! Is that it?! Have I gone straight to hell?!

Come on, bitch! Eat some dog food! Eat it! Eat it, you bitch! Put my baby in the refrigerator!

Good God almighty.

Good old germ-carrying American currency!

Hey morons, you got your clothes on backwards!